How to Be a Good Listener

Everybody knows someone. If you want to meet someone in particular, ask the people you know if they know anyone who knows the person--and then ask them to make an introduction.

At the end of the day, a warm lead is always better than a cold lead. If you can get in the door with some sort of referral, that will always be better than a cold email or phone call.

Share updates pretty regularly in order to tell connections what’s on your mind, whether it’s your point of view on some industry news story, or just congratulating a colleague on a business win.

And by putting yourself out there, you’re taking regular small steps that could someday turn into an opportunity to take a bigger one.

It allows individuals to get straight to the point, and since many people use texting as a daily form of communication, you’re more likely to get a response.

The trick is to make sure you apply standard business etiquette, such as respecting business hours.

“Remember, people do business with people they know, like, and trust.” - Susan Solovic

Interested people are interesting. Ask people questions. 

Try to learn something you did not know before from your interlocutor.

You pop up now and again to your connections and acquaintances (old and new), without any obligation to follow up or see each other in person.

• It helps you to connect even with your weak or dormant ties, that will, in turn, be able to help you if you with what opportunities they have. 
• You can connect via text or email, and you can take the time to compose thoughtful messages without being put on-the-spot.

... is to put you into someone’s consciousness for a few minutes, and vice versa.

In cultivating loose-touch connections, know that your network won’t appear all at once; it takes steady, continuous work.

See networking from a different perspective: You’re not just networking because you should; you’re doing it because it’s good for your career.

Think about the people you would like to get to know and then carve out time to accomplish that goal:

• A few before the conference, make a 'priority wish list' of people you’d like to meet. 
• Send those people an email introducing yourself and asking to meet; if possible, get an introduction from a mutual friend or colleague.

Instead of triggering more anxiety by rehashing your quarantine situations, think about what you can do to make your friends feel good and how to be there for them from a distance.

Tell them they matter to you and that you miss them. Then keep the conversation focused on things that make you both feel good.

• What’s something that made you smile or laugh this week?
• What was the highlight of your day or week?
• What have you been watching recently?
• Have you read any good books or articles?
• What’s your favorite podcast right now?
• What have you been enjoying about working from home?
• What have you been cooking?
• Have you ordered out from any good restaurants lately?
• What is making you feel most productive right now?
• What is making you feel most at peace right now?
• Have you found any fun ways to be creative?
• What’s the most absurd thing you’ve seen on social media recently?
• Where are you finding a sense of purpose right now?
• What hobbies are you leaning into?
• What are you doing to relax?

• Prepare. Have questions ready to ask new people,such as “How did you get started in your career?" or “What are you passionate about?”
• Find a conference buddy to bring with to your next networking event.
• Be that person. Many feel the same as you do. Forget about yourself and reach out.
• Be present. Once you do start a conversation, ask lots of questions and practice your listening skills.
• So try to relax, smile, and look as warm and casual as you can.
• Challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone just a little bit.

A key part of being a good listener is showing the speaker that he or she has your undivided attention. Close your laptop and put away your phone.

This gives those speakers the confidence to express themselves fully without feeling that they’re imposing on your time.

7 percent of a message is conveyed through words. Body language plays a major role in how we communicate and how we listen.

When you’re listening, then, be aware of what your body language is saying to the speaker. Unfold your arms and be open to what this person has to say.