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Is there any truth to Dale Carnegie's "How to Win Friends and Influence People"? - Barking Up The Wrong Tree
Make the other person feel important
People like to feel important and powerful. Feeling like we’re in control reduces stress.
Money doesn’t increase happiness much, but feeling powerful does. Most people would rather be the big fish in a small pond making $50,000 a year than the small fish in a big pond earning $100,000.
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Key Ideas
Dale Carnegie’s advice to make people like you
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember names.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interest.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
And there is some real science that backs up these techniques.
Actively showing interest in other people
When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructive: engaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.
It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.
Smiling does make you more attractive
Remembering a person's name
Research shows people are more likely to comply with your requests if you remember their name.
Being a good listener
Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Self-disclosure is extra rewarding, neuroscience research shows. People are even willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves.
Talk in terms of the other person’s interest
Obviously, we’re all interested in talking about what interests us — and this engagement promotes liking.
For example, when women were more engaged in a conversation on a first date, they were much more likely to report being attracted to the guy.
Make the other person feel important
People like to feel important and powerful. Feeling like we’re in control reduces stress.
Money doesn’t increase happiness much, but feeling powerful does. Most people would rather be the big fish in a small pond making $50,000 a year than the small fish in a big pond earning $100,000.
SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Techniques in Handling People
6 ways to make people like you
- Become sincerely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important.
Win people to your way of thinking
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Never say, “You’re wrong.” Respect the other person’s opinions.
- If you are wrong, admit it.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
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Key Ideas
“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatur..."
Dale Carnegie
Handling People
- Don’t criticize, condemn or complain. People learn faster and retain knowledge more effectively when rewarded for good behavior than punished for bad behavior.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation. The only way to get a person to do anything is by giving them what they want.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want. The only way to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.
Appreciation and flattery
- Flattery is selfish and insincere. It’s cheap praise. You tell the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.
- Appreciation is unselfish and sincere. It happens when we stop thinking about ourselves and begin to think of the other person’s good points.
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Looking Friendly
- Smile. It is even more important than you think. It's a great way to create trust. We judge people to be more pleasant when we are smiling.
- Expand. Body movements th...
Being More Influential
The best body language for influence depends on your goal. Make sure your body language matches your words to make you more effective.
- If you want to increase the attractiveness of an offer, think sales-y. Use animated movements. Lean forward. Move and speak quickly.
- If you want to reduce resistance to what you're saying, think calm and authoritative. Specific gestures. Lean back. Move and speak slowly.
Looking Like A Leader
It is important to balance the appearance of authority and warmth.
- You show authority and power by your upright posture, your command of physical space, purposeful stride, a firm handshake, and palm-down gestures.
- You communicate warmth nonverbally with open body postures, palm-up hand gestures, full-frontal body orientation, positive eye contact, synchronized movements, nods, head tilts, and smiles.
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