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And there is some real science that backs up these techniques.
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When people speak, the best responses are both active and constructive: engaged, enthusiastic, curious and has supportive nonverbal action. Ask questions. Be excited. Ask for details. Smile. Touch. Laugh.
It's a powerful technique - it makes you more liked and people more receptive to your requests.
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Research shows people are more likely to comply with your requests if you remember their name.
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Encourage others to talk about themselves.
Self-disclosure is extra rewarding, neuroscience research shows. People are even willing to forgo money in order to talk about themselves.
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Obviously, we’re all interested in talking about what interests us — and this engagement promotes liking.
For example, when women were more engaged in a conversation on a first date, they were much more likely to report being attracted to the guy.
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People like to feel important and powerful. Feeling like we’re in control reduces stress.
Money doesn’t increase happiness much, but feeling powerful does. Most people would rather be the big fish in a small pond making $50,000 a year than the small fish in a big pond earning $100,000.
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The best body language for influence depends on your goal. Make sure your body language matches your words to make you more effective.
It is important to balance the appearance of authority and warmth.