“Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."
ECKHART TOLLE
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A mindset hack is to expect nothing, and don’t think of anything that is happening as good or bad. Accept things as they happen, as if that is what was planned, letting you move in the particular landscape in a mindful way.
This simple hack makes us less unhappy and less disappointed all the time.
- Become more aware during the day, noticing more things around you.
- Every time a judgement or expectation is made, just note down the moment and repeat this: No expectations, no good or bad.
- Be curious as to why people behave or act in a certain way, removing your coloured glasses behind.
- Take whatever comes in your life and experience it. You can only control your responses.
- Accept circumstances and people as they are.
- Understand that the present moment is a gift, containing infinite possibilities.
- We feel angry, frustrated or sad with our friends, loved ones and family members because they don’t live up to our expectations.
- If we don’t have any expectations in the first place, we would not judge them accordingly, and their actions or non-actions will not cause emotional reactions inside us.
- If we travel somewhere with great expectations, we are bound to be disappointed. If we just go somewhere without any expectations, we may be delighted and would enjoy whatever experience comes forth.
We need to stop judging and expecting because it stops our factual understanding. We have already come to a conclusion, our preferred way of something to be, and reality is bound to be different.
Expecting and judging will make us unhappy as reality is never what we expect it to be. We need to stop killing our happiness and start to live our lives instead.
Imagine a good thing that happened to you recently and a bad thing. Just imagine those recent incidents as just events, not good or bad in any way. When we stop judging, we are not burdened with emotions, and not chained to the world. Nothing is really good or bad, but in reality, is just our interpretation and perception.
Even big events are events that just happened. Festivals and wars keep happening. Death is always happening everywhere, let it be.
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Whenever an outside force interrupts our progress - we skip gym for a day or two for example - it sends a message to our brains that we aren't good enough and we can't do it and that we should just give up.
Disruption is the biggest obstacle to overcome but we can always change this habit if we look at it with fresh eyes. Instead of seeing it as a negative event, look at is as a fresh start, like it's something we've never seen before. It would help open our minds to the curiosity and possibilities.
- Most people do not like to be in uncertain situations.
- Instead of an uncomfortable conversation, we would like to let the bad situation be as it is.
- Instead of doing something challenging and creative, we would rather be obscure.
- When things overwhelm us, we would like a simple, quiet way to deal with troubling matters.
We need to come towards the edge of uncertainty, the place we don’t like much, but which is full of growth, learning, creating and inventing. It is here when we toil that we find meaning, intimacy, beauty, love and vulnerability.
Staying at the Edge of Uncertainty - zen habits zen habits
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