The gaze - Deepstash
The Levels of Eye Contact

The Levels of Eye Contact

markmanson.net

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The gaze

  • The gaze is when someone looks at you and keeps looking even after the typical "look away" moment. When undesired, this becomes the "creep stare." When desired, this is a clear sign of interest.
  • The gaze plus a smile is a clear sign telling you they're interested.
  • The dreamboat is when you wake up in the morning to someone staring at you with a dreamy smile. This happens when someone has fallen for you.

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The power of eye contact

The power of eye contact

We intuitively understand the power of eye contact. It can say a thousand unspoken words. - from the stern look in your mother's face to the scrutinising gaze of the interviewer.

Highlights of what eye contact does:

  • It's arousing. Someone staring back at you could make you all sweaty.
  • It holds attention.
  • It makes people believe you.
  • It makes people think you're smart. We tend to judge people who make eye contact with us as more intelligent and competent.
  • It makes you seem more sincere.

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The glance

  • The unconscious glance. Someone's eyes are coincidentally meeting yours for a moment, then continue wandering. This level of eye contact is neutral.
  • The conscious glance. Your eye meets theirs, and they look away consciously, whether because of shyness, awkwardness, or disinterest.
  • Glance and a half. A slight interest is conveyed. Someone holds eye contact with you for a split second longer than expected.
  • Double glance. If you make eye contact and they look away, keep looking at them. Some will look a second time - a sign of physical interest.

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Eye contact can feel intimidating

Some people find eye contact difficult because they suffer from trauma. Some have attachment issues or are self-conscious. Others may be shy or inexperienced.

  • No eye contact (intentional) is when someone consciously makes an effort not to look at you. They're not interested in you. It's a way of saying "get away from me" without saying it.
  • No eye contact (unintentional) signals that they are busy focusing on something else and have not noticed you.

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Practice making eye contact

Eye contact is something you can practice and get good at.

  • If making eye contact with strangers is too difficult, start with people you feel comfortable with. Learn to look into your best friend's eyes when they tell you about their day, not at their ears or the wall behind them.
  • Another trick if you feel uncomfortable looking into someone's eyes is to stand a little further away. The closer you stand to someone looking at you, the less you're able to make eye contact.

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CURATED BY

rhettm

Love a good conversation, it's how we grow. I strive to do be better at it.

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