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People are often good but their circumstances can change how they come out.
Get clear on the “true facts”: what you know for sure. Then assume that the other person has good intent, and imagine the circumstances that could be causing his or her behavior.
For a complete and happy day, you need to focus on your energy and reboot it when needed.
Know thyself by identifying where the typical energy highs and lows occur. Plan for the triggers and events around the highs and lows.
"The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing."
There are two types of goals:
Approach goals are better than avoidance goals as they encourage higher performance.
The brain’s deliberate system likes to take shortcuts. Take note of when that is happening.
Signs of your brain taking shortcuts are statements like “It’s obviously right [or obviously wrong].” “I recently heard XYZ…therefore…” “Everyone agrees.” “I understand it—so I like it!” “Let’s just stick with what we know.” “There’s only one real option.”
Your brain’s deliberate system needs regular breaks to keep it fully functional. When tired, we are more likely to make poorer decisions.
Allow your brain a chance to step back and consolidate the experience. Plan for breaks between “zones” in your day. Refresh your mind after every ninety minutes.
"In all the empirical studies on psychological well-being, one thing emerges as a reliable foundation for happiness: the quality of our relationships."
Use one or more of these three techniques next time you want to provide input or challenge someone’s ideas:
If you disagree on something:
We can tweak our perceptions by being more deliberate in our perceptual filters.
We can do this by looking at things from three angles:
"Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Getting a message through to other people can be hard because other people’s automatic system gets in the way.
Provide a reward or a dose of intrigue as you communicate. The human brain craves new things.
Experiment with different mediums for your information. Use visuals, charts, and everything else that you can think of to stimulate the mind. Present your information from a different vantage point.
You’re constantly moving along a discover-defend axis in your daily life, as your brain scans for threats to defend against and rewards to seek out and discover.
Having an existing solution in mind makes it harder for us to see a radically different but better way to solve our problem.
So if what we want is new thinking, we need to help our brains get out of a rut, to stimulate lots of new connections.
"The difficulty lies not in the new ideas, but in escaping from the old ones."
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