When we are in conflict, our view of the other person becomes so narrow that we do not see them as a fleshed-out person.
Try to assume that the other person is acting in good faith. That baseline assumption can get you through plenty of instances of misplaced tone and timing.
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Our response to difficult conversations is neurologically the same response to fear: the fight, flight, or freeze response.
When you feel that internal escalation, think, “‘Oh this is really interesting, what’s happening is my reptilian brain is taking over.’ Just that awareness itself can be helpful.
Good communication is a full-body experience. It’s how we breathe. It’s our tone. It’s our gestures.
Cultivate habits like keeping an open expression, avoid defaulting to crossed arms, and taking deep breaths to help change the tenor of an interaction.
To avoid miscommunication, repeat or summarize their words back to them in a form like, “What I’m hearing you say is…” It creates a feedback loop that allows someone to course correct or dial it back.
A mediation mindset is a place for trying to get to the root of an issue. That might mean proceeding without an agenda and just trying to learn more.
Use open-ended questions: "Can you tell me why?” Keep the questions to six words or fewer. And don’t think too much. Just be curious.
One of the traps of digging into hard conversations is a desire to get to a copacetic place where everyone feels better.
Head for the fiery core of the issue. Find the pain points. And, before getting wrapped up in resolving, acknowledge how they’re affecting everyone. The ultimate goal of mediation, after all, isn’t agreement. It’s understanding.
Most of us fail in our endeavors at some point in our lives, whether it's a New Year's resolution or a health goal you are working on. These setbacks make us human, not a failure.
Our willpower and motivation are not what makes us succeed, but our dusting ourselves up and getting back in the game.
It's important to understand why we are using the snooze button in the first place.
For some, it's a habit that started early on. But for many, it can signal a significant problem with sleep. And poor sleep has been shown to be associated with a number of health disorders including high blood pressure, memory problems, and even weight control.
Reflect on three things that are going well or three positive moments in your day, and even replay them in your mind.
Mentally revisiting these moments will help bring back the good mood and feelings they initially created.