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6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make

You don’t paraphrase or restate

Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”

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6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make

6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make

https://psychcentral.com/blog/6-common-communication-mistakes-that-every-couple-makes/

psychcentral.com

6

Key Ideas

You don’t paraphrase or restate

Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's. 

This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.

For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”

Focusing on the person instead of the issue

Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.

For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”

Not showing your appreciation

It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them. 

This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.

Serious conversations while emotional

It’s best to remain as rational as possible when tackling issues such as money, marriage, and family.

Write down the main points you want to discuss with your partner before starting the conversation. Or do something relaxing that you enjoy before having a serious talk. 

You don’t actually listen

When someone else is speaking, we are often waiting for our opportunity to say what we think, rather than actually listening.

Don’t rush in. Consider what they’ve said, and think carefully before giving them your response.

You don’t lead by example

When you change your own habits for the better, your partner will pick up on it.

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Fear and resentment

When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.

The antidote to fear

Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.

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Not Editing Your Work
Not Editing Your Work

Spelling, tone and grammatical mistakes can make you look careless.

  • Don't rely on spell-checkers.
  • Proofread your work.
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Delivering Bad News by Email

Written communication channels don't allow you to soften difficult messages with nonverbal cues.

Delivering a message in person makes it easier to pick up on signs that people have misunderstood parts of your message.

Avoiding Difficult Conversations

It's tempting to try to avoid difficult conversations, but this can cause further problems.

  • Preparation is key to handling difficult conversations.
  • Use tools such as the Situation – Behavior – Impact technique to encourage your people to reflect on their behavior.
  • Role-play your conversation first.

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Rekindling the Fire

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As the initial stage of love fades away, a deeper, richer sense of each other should take its place, and couples can find more ways to make things interesting and fun.

Look With New Eyes

Staying curious about each other and finding things, memories, places, and activities that are yet to be shared or experienced together is a great way to rekindle the relationship.
Revisiting your past and finding ways to connect better by looking at the other with 'new' eyes makes us see many things that were overlooked earlier.

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