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6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make
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You don’t paraphrase or restate
Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's.
This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.
For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”
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Focusing on the person instead of the issue
Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.
For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”
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Not showing your appreciation
It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them.
This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.
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Serious conversations while emotional
It’s best to remain as rational as possible when tackling issues such as money, marriage, and family.
Write down the main points you want to discuss with your partner before starting the conversation. Or do something relaxing that you enjoy before having a serious talk.
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You don’t actually listen
When someone else is speaking, we are often waiting for our opportunity to say what we think, rather than actually listening.
Don’t rush in. Consider what they’ve said, and think carefully before giving them your response.
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You don’t lead by example
When you change your own habits for the better, your partner will pick up on it.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Poor communication
The lack of communication is one of the main reasons for break-ups, divorces and for seeking couple therapy, according to studies.
Poor communication is also related to conflict-based con...
Fear and resentment
When having important discussions with our partners, we face the fear that they are not really hearing us.
This could lead us to develop a form of resentment because we may not feel validated by them. We might also misinterpret their body language and words and feel hurt and disrespected by them.
The antidote to fear
Fear is the enemy of healthy communication. The antidote would thus be developing safety.
When we feel safe, we can talk about anything in healthy ways. You should also make sure you help your partner feel safe when talking to you.
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Key Ideas
Not Editing Your Work
Spelling, tone and grammatical mistakes can make you look careless.
- Don't rely on spell-checkers.
- Proofread your work.
- Use a dictionary to look up any words that y...
Delivering Bad News by Email
Written communication channels don't allow you to soften difficult messages with nonverbal cues.
Delivering a message in person makes it easier to pick up on signs that people have misunderstood parts of your message.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations
It's tempting to try to avoid difficult conversations, but this can cause further problems.
- Preparation is key to handling difficult conversations.
- Use tools such as the Situation – Behavior – Impact technique to encourage your people to reflect on their behavior.
- Role-play your conversation first.
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Building Rapport Remotely
To better build rapport and counter isolation do the following:
- smile, tilt your chin lower so you're not looking down on them, and slow down your speech during your vid...
Relying On Text The Right Way
Voice and video calls can help you feel more in touch with your team and avoid the issues of asynchronous communication like time lags or misunderstandings.
However, you'll likely spend a lot of your day communicating via text as it’s a good way to interact without interrupting their work. So you need to be able to get your point across clearly and simply, show empathy and understanding, and be efficient to avoid wasted time.
Staying Up To Date
Remote workers can feel overwhelmed by the amount of text they have to process. So finding ways to keep on top of what's going on is imperative for communicating efficiently with others.
Create archive lists and CC irrelevant emails to them, so you can save and share them without flooding non-involved people.