Why we build walls - Deepstash

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Why it's so tempting to build walls and shut people out (and what to do instead)

Why we build walls

  • We evolved this way. For thousands of years, our ability to band together against a common enemy (weather, wild beasts, other tribes) was life-saving.
  • Knowing who we are makes us feel secure. With countless labels, we build up this creation we call our self. And it’s easy to ignore things we don’t like about ourselves and even easier to locate those qualities in others.
  • (False) certainty about others is reassuring. Putting labels on entire groups of people makes things much simpler.

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Eating Distract from Emotions

We often associate eating with relief or even excitement, and it’s only natural that we’d reach for those same feelings when we’re worried or sad.

Why we choose comfort food

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But after we eat for emotional reasons, we’re replacing our original feelings with the emotions that arise out of eating.

Comfort food

We associate comfort food with positive memories.

Think about all the happy and comforting memories you have involving food. Maybe your family used to celebrate occasions with a trip to the ice cream shop, or maybe your mom or dad used to soften the blow of a bad day with macaroni and cheese. When you’re feeling rejected or anxious today, eating one of those foods is an instant connection to that soothing time.

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Get an outside perspective, if you struggle with getting the facts in an objective manner.

Don't let it consume you

Once we’ve made what we’d call a bad decision, we give it a lot of meaning it does not inherently have.

So try to mentally separate yourself from the decision. Doing so can help you strip it of its power.