The Importance of Saying No. - Deepstash
The Importance of Saying No.

The Importance of Saying No.

Rejection makes your life better. We need to dismiss something otherwise we stand for nothing. If nothing is better or more preferable than anything else, then we are empty and our life is meaningless. We are without values and therefore and without any purpose.

The avoidance of rejection (both allotting and gaining it) is often a way to make ourselves feel better. But averting rejection gives us short-term pleasure by making us rudderless and directionless in the long term.

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You are always choosing.

The power of choice is one of the greatest gifts we human beings possess. We are always choosing regardless of whether we are aware of it. Till we die.

When we forgo one alternative, we are indirectly choosing something else.

When we choose our struggles, we feel strong and empowered. When those circumstances influence us against our will, we often feel miserable and unhappy.

The genuine question is, what are we choosing to care about? What values are we choosing to base our lives on? What metrics are we using to measure our lives? And are those excellent choices - values or metrics?

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...And Then You Die

Death frightens us. And because it terrifies us, we avoid thinking about it, speaking about it, occasionally even accepting it, even when it's happening to someone close to us.

Death is the only thing we can know with certainty. The only way to be comfortable with death is to realize and see yourself something larger than yourself; to select values that span beyond serving yourself, that are easy and timely and controllable and tolerant of the turbulent world around you.

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Failure Is The Way Forward.

Our most revolutionary changes in perspective often happen at the awful times in life. It's only when we feel serious pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be ceasing to function.

Pain is part of the process.

It's important to feel it. Because if you just chase after thrills to cover up the pain, if you continue to indulge in entitlement and delusional optimistic thinking, if you continue to overfill in various substances or activities, then you'll never generate the requisite motivation to actually improve.

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You‘re Wrong About Everything (but so am I).

Uncertainty is the enemy of growth. Instead of seeking for certainty, we should be in a steady search for doubt.

Uncertainty stops us from judging others, it prompts the unnecessary stereotyping and predispositions that we normally have.

Uncertainty relieves us of our judgment of ourselves. We don't know if we are lovable or not; we don't know how attractive we are; we don't know how prosperous we could potentially become. The only way to fulfill these things is to remain uncertain of them and be open to finding them out through experience.

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RELATED IDEAS

  1. Everyone wants you to believe that the secret to a good life is to have a nicer job or a better car or a prettier girlfriend/ handsome boyfriend.
  2. You are going to die someday. Everyone you know is going to die soon. And in your short life you only have a certain amount of fucks to give.
  3. Not giving a fuck is not about being indifferent. It just means you’re comfortable with being different. Don’t say fuck it to everything in life, just to the unimportant things.

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  • Being open with one's insecurities paradoxically makes one more confident and charismatic around.
  • Hiding what is shameful is itself a form of shame.

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How to really mess up your problem: with real life methods:

There are majorly two ways to really really mess up your problem. Any one of these is enough to make your life miserable.

  1. Denial of your problem:
  • The first step to actually start entangling your problem, is to deny that you have one. This thing, you can do when you just realise that you have a problem.

2. The victim mentality:

  • The second step, after you get into one problem, is blaming the outside circumstances for it. Remember, no outsider can be responsible for your inside chaos.

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