by Mark Manson
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The power of choice is one of the greatest gifts we human beings possess. We are always choosing regardless of whether we are aware of it. Till we die.
When we forgo one alternative, we are indirectly choosing something else.
When we choose our struggles, we feel strong and empowered. When those circumstances influence us against our will, we often feel miserable and unhappy.
The genuine question is, what are we choosing to care about? What values are we choosing to base our lives on? What metrics are we using to measure our lives? And are those excellent choices - values or metrics?
Uncertainty is the enemy of growth. Instead of seeking for certainty, we should be in a steady search for doubt.
•Uncertainty stops us from judging others, it prompts the unnecessary stereotyping and predispositions that we normally have.
•Uncertainty relieves us of our judgment of ourselves. We don't know if we are lovable or not; we don't know how attractive we are; we don't know how prosperous we could potentially become. The only way to fulfill these things is to remain uncertain of them and be open to finding them out through experience.
Our most revolutionary changes in perspective often happen at the awful times in life. It's only when we feel serious pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be ceasing to function.
Pain is part of the process.
It's important to feel it. Because if you just chase after thrills to cover up the pain, if you continue to indulge in entitlement and delusional optimistic thinking, if you continue to overfill in various substances or activities, then you'll never generate the requisite motivation to actually improve.
Rejection makes your life better. We need to dismiss something otherwise we stand for nothing. If nothing is better or more preferable than anything else, then we are empty and our life is meaningless. We are without values and therefore and without any purpose.
The avoidance of rejection (both allotting and gaining it) is often a way to make ourselves feel better. But averting rejection gives us short-term pleasure by making us rudderless and directionless in the long term.
Death frightens us. And because it terrifies us, we avoid thinking about it, speaking about it, occasionally even accepting it, even when it's happening to someone close to us.
Death is the only thing we can know with certainty. The only way to be comfortable with death is to realize and see yourself something larger than yourself; to select values that span beyond serving yourself, that are easy and timely and controllable and tolerant of the turbulent world around you.
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I am an 18-year-old writer and blogger sharing my perspective on the world with others.
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