<ol><li>Research has found that “Hello, how are you?” is the most effective conversation starter, but you can use context, like impressions or the location, in its place.</li><li>Bring up topics, look for ideas and ask questions that spark energy or get the person excited. </li><li>The eyebrow raise is what we do when we hear or see something interesting. It clues you in to a topic that they might like discussing.</li><li>Stories are great to hold attention, instigate emotion and are more easily remembered. Keep in mind your favorite ones, the ones that can backup claims and how you can answer with anecdotes.</li><li>When we share something, we often want someone else to share something. Give back as much as you get.</li><li>Don’t be a conversational narcissist. Ensure you do equal parts talking and listening.</li><li>Don’t try to constantly outdo others or their stories. Let people enjoy their moment and celebrate with them, don’t one-up them.</li></ol>

Better At Conversations

Purpose provides confidence, boosts influence and is contagious. To be more purposeful in your conversations answer the following:<ul><li>Who is hosting the event?</li><li>What kinds of people are going?</li><li>When is it and what’s the schedule?</li><li>Why are you going?</li></ul>

Step #1: Intention

Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:<ul><li>Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.</li><li>Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.</li><li>Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.</li><li>You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.</li></ul>

Step #3: Bookmarking

We make our first impression in the first 7 seconds of seeing someone, sometimes even before we interact. You can signal friendliness by:<ul><li>Keeping your hands visible</li><li>Rolling your shoulders down and back so they are nice and relaxed</li><li>Smiling when you see someone you recognize or you want to talk to</li></ul>

Step #2: Approach

After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability. This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.

Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance

Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:<ul><li>Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!”</li><li>Inside Jokes: “It was great laughing with you. I’ll be sure to ___ in the future ;)”</li><li>Same Same: “I’m so glad I met a fellow ___ fan. You made my night!”</li><li>You Have to See: “I’ll be sure to send that link your way, great talking to you!”</li></ul>

Step #5: Exits

Do you know how to start a conversation? Both starting and holding a conversation with people is like a sport. Just like football or soccer, you hone your conversational muscles. You train for difficult topics. You re-play miscommunications in your head. And just like elite athletes, you need a conversational game plan.