Would you like to <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/how-to-start-meditating-the-easy-way/">improve your mental health</a>, relationships, and overall happiness in just 10 seconds?<a href="https://giovannispezia.com/happier-in-10-seconds/">Here</a> is how.

Introduction

<a href="https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2020-32759-001">Scientific research</a> has found that when we smile, our brains release positive hormones that are associated with feelings of happiness and well-being.All it takes is 10 seconds of smiling. Even a forced smile can lead to an increase in positive emotions.

Try Smiling for 10 Seconds

<ol><li>Improve mental health. Reduce feelings of stress and anxiety.</li><li>Reinforce relationships. Increased feelings of trust and connection with those we interact with.</li><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com/why-you-cant-be-happy/">Increase happiness. </a>More optimistic and satisfied life.</li><li>Enhance likeability. Smiling can make us feel more open and approachable. Additionally, it also can boost our self-esteem and confidence, which has a positive effect on our outlook.</li></ol>

The Power of a Smile

We all know how it feels to have someone smile at us. It’s a feeling of warmth and acceptance, and it can make us feel more connected to the person.Always be the first when it comes to smiling. Don’t wait for others to smile at you.

Smiling for a Better World

<ul><li>Make it a habit.</li><li>When you’re feeling down, smile and it will help to lift your mood.</li><li>Make an effort to smile at people you interact with each day.</li></ul>

Tips to Smile More

Read the full article <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/happier-in-10-seconds/">here</a>.Also, if you're interested in the topics of personal development, mindset, and both physical and mental well-being, consider checking out my content at:<ul><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com/">GiovanniSpezia.com</a></li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/GiovaSpezia">Twitter</a></li><li><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Giovanni_Spezia/">Pinterest</a></li></ul>Thank you all for the kind support! 🫶

Liked These Ideas? Read the full article!

Would you like to improve your mental health, relationships, and overall happiness in just 10 seconds? Here's how you can do it.

Scientific research has found this simple habit to improve your mental health, relationships, and overall happiness in just 10 seconds.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Personal Development

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Health

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Mental Health

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Science & Nature

This Simple Trick Will Make You Happier in 10 Seconds

Do thoughts and tasks overwhelm you? Good news: <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/journaling/">journaling</a> can help you manage emotions and provide focus.

<ol><li>Improved mental health. Better <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/overcome-stress/">management of stress, anxiety, and depression.</a></li><li>Clarity of thought. Process emotions and brainstorm solutions.</li><li>Stress relief. Writing thoughts and feelings provides a sense of relief.</li><li>Increased creativity. Cultivate your imagination and <a href="https://giovannispezia.com/why-doing-nothing-is-good-for-you/">open up new possibilities.</a></li></ol>

Why You Should Start Journaling

<ol><li>Set a regular time. Establish a routine and choose a comfortable and quiet space, free from distractions.</li><li>Write about anything that comes to mind: thoughts, feelings, experiences, and goals.</li><li>Write freely, without judgment or expectation. Express yourself fully.</li></ol>

How To Start Journaling

Choose a journal that you’ll enjoy writing in and that will motivate you to write.<a href="https://giovannispezia.com/memento-mori-journal/">The Memento Mori Journal</a> is a high-quality leather journal that is great for setting aside a moment to write about feelings, thoughts, and emotions.

Choose The Right Journal

If you're interested in the topics of personal development, mindset, and both physical and mental well-being, consider checking out my content at:<ul><li><a href="https://giovannispezia.com">GiovanniSpezia.com</a></li><li><a href="https://twitter.com/GiovaSpezia">Twitter</a></li><li><a href="https://www.pinterest.com/Giovanni_Spezia/">Pinterest</a></li></ul>Thank you all for the support! 🫶

Liked These Ideas? Consider Checking Out My Blog

Does overthinking say something to you? Good news: this simple habit can help exactly with that!

Does overthinking and stress say something to you? Good news: journaling will help you manage stress, anxiety, and depression.

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Mindfulness

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Reading & Writing

This Simple Habit Will Change Your Life Forever - Giovanni Spezia

5 key insights from the new book, Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change <a href="https://amzn.to/3fskSOa">(available now from Amazon) </a>.

If you’d met Femi as a 21-year-old, I’m sure you’d have formed the impression that he had a highly disagreeable personality. He’d been banned from the area he grew up in, charged with possession of drugs, and forced to wear an electronic monitoring tag. Yet fast-forward to today and Femi, or Anthony Joshua as he’s now known, is heralded as an impeccable role model of good manners and charitable behavior.Joshua, an Olympic gold medalist and two-time world heavyweight boxing champion, has said, “I could have gone the other way, but I choose to be respectful.”

1. Personality is not fixed.

Research findings back this up. Whereas William James, the great American psychologist, said that personality was set like plaster by age 30, modern longitudinal studies that have followed the same people over many decades have shown that our personality traits, in fact, continue to change all the way through life. That doesn’t mean that personality is meaningless—there is a thread of continuity—but it isn’t fixed. As the psychologist Simine Vazire put it, when it comes to personality, “There is plenty to hold onto and plenty we can change.”

A true “super couple,” the actress and model Monica Bellucci and her actor husband Vincent Cassel were Europe’s answer to Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie. But, after 18 years together, including 14 in marriage and several joint appearances in films, the pair announced their split in 2013. The experience changed them profoundly—Bellucci said she felt energized, less emotional, and more grounded; Cassel saw the moment as a chance to reinvent himself, and he relocated from Paris to Rio.

2. Life will change you, and the trick is to anticipate it.

Stories like this mirror the science of personality. While 50% of the variation in our traits is genetic, the rest is up for grabs, as we are continually shaped by our relationships, social roles, and major life experiences. For instance, echoing the Bellucci and Cassel story, when people’s personalities are compared before and after divorce, they tend to show significant changes. A common after-effect is increased openness, as the super couple experienced, but another pattern is increased introversion. Divorcees can become isolated if they lose friends they once shared with their partner.

To consider some other life events, job losses have been shown to lower conscientiousness, and illness and bereavement to raise neuroticism (also known as emotional instability). By recognizing the ways that life might affect your traits, you will be better placed to anticipate these effects and adapt via intentional personality change.

In my freshman year at college, I met a student who was deeply frustrated; he wanted his time at college to be fun and full of friends and socializing, yet he was extremely introverted and spent most of his time alone. But it was inspiring to see what he did next—he made specific plans for how to come out of his shell, including proactively seeking out more friends and beginning work at a campus bar.

3. You can choose to change.

Studies have shown that people with desires to change one or more of their traits are able to do so, especially if they make specific plans for how they will change their behavior, and persist with enough dedication that these changes become habitual. On the other hand, desiring change but failing to follow through with any practical plan of action is likely to backfire.

In my book, I lay out numerous practical strategies for how you might change each of five main personality traits, including becoming less neurotic and more extroverted and conscientious. The most effective approach is to mix strategies that will change you from the inside out (such as lowering your neuroticism by practicing attentional training to increase control over your thoughts), and from the outside in (such as practicing the “situation selection strategy”—choosing activities and company that bring out the traits you wish to develop).

An understandable concern for anyone who is seeking to change their personality is that they are not being true to themselves, that they are somehow being fake. I sympathize, and I wouldn’t want anyone to feel pressured by others to change if they don’t want to. However, it’s equally important to realize that you aren’t defined or limited by your past.

4. Authenticity is based on your future self.

Research studies that have monitored people’s feelings of authenticity have shown that we feel most “real” or true to ourselves when we’re acting in accordance with our so-called ideal selves (the kind of person we aspire to be) rather than in accordance with our actual selves (as measured by our current personality trait profile). Similarly, relationship research has shown that people feel most authentic when they are with a partner who supports them in acting more like their ideal self.

This makes sense—arguably, the real you is the person you aspire to be. When you begin making efforts to change your traits, it might feel awkward and effortful, but persist long enough and it will become second nature. Bear in mind, too, that you are much more than your traits—you are your values and goals and principles. There’s nothing fake about developing your traits to help embody those parts within you.

Whether it’s Anthony Joshua metamorphosing from petty thug to youth role model, Catra Corbett from addict to elite athlete, or Maajid Nawaz transforming from extremist to pacifist, the stories I have uncovered all speak to the same pattern: People found a new calling, and this influenced their personality traits in beneficial ways. They all had a driving reason to change.

5. You’re more likely to change successfully if it’s for a larger purpose.

Research shows that changes in our personal values more often precede personality change, rather than the other way around. Becoming a better father, fighting poverty, sharing your love of art, improving your town, volunteering overseas, or even learning a new skill—it doesn’t matter what we call this motivational pull, the point is that deliberate personality change is more likely to be successful and feel authentic if it’s in the service of your passions and values in life.

If you don’t currently have a passion or calling, then before asking yourself “How do I want or need to change my personality?” it might be more rewarding and effective to ask “What matters to me?” or “Who do I want to be?”

Be Who You Want: Unlocking The Science of Personality Change

Cognitive neuroscientist Christian Jarrett shares 5 key insights from his new book, Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change.

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Problem Solving

Be Who You Want: Unlocking the Science of Personality Change

If you're a perfectionist, that might mean you can be pretty hard on yourself. A mistake at work, for example, could result is some pretty negative self-talk or actions, like depriving yourself of a snack later that day. In other words, you're punishing yourself. But self-punishment doesn't encourage growth, says Katherine Morgan Schafler, a psychotherapist and author of "The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control."

"Punishment doesn't work," she writes in her book. "When you punish someone, that person doesn't learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment."  If you are the source of your own punishment then you learn to avoid yourself. This might look like overworking, overspending, or numbing yourself with excessive consumption of social media or TV shows. None of this actually helps you grow, though.  Punishment can be mistaken for a handful of things: discipline, personal accountability, natural consequence, and rehabilitation.

<ul><li>Punishment vs. Discipline: "Punishment seeks to increase pain. Discipline seeks to increase structure," Schafler writes in her book. Punishment is about control and discouraging negative behavior. Discipline is about promoting structure to increase positive behavior.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. personal accountability: Personal accountability is about owning up to your mistake and taking responsibility for the solution. Personal responsibility requires you to apologize to who you've hurt and make a pledge to improve. Punishment doesn't really come with a plan other than blaming yourself. "Punishment is lazy," she writes.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. natural consequence:  Punishment relies on fear to help you learn, but natural consequence relies on understanding that your choices had impact, perhaps one you didn't like. Instead of being scared to act, natural consequence might encourage you to act in a way that will net a positive result.  </li> </ul>

<ul><li>Punishment vs. rehabilitation: Punishment seeks to "demoralize and disempower" while rehabilitation seeks to "stabilize and empower," Schafler writes. Rehabilitation focuses on building positive growth on a healthy foundation.  </li> </ul>

Instead of punishing yourself for making a mistake, Schafler writes it is more effective to practice self-compassion. In her book she references the broaden-and-build theory, a positive psychology theory that was developed by social psychologist Barbara Fredrickson in 1998.  Broaden-and-build theory suggests that when you're in a positive headspace you feel more able to face different challenges and make choices based on the possibility of positive outcomes.

The broaden-and-build theory

When you're in a negative headspace your view narrows and you aren't inspired or encouraged to think differently.  In order to put yourself in a positive headspace, you need to practice self-compassion, Schafler says.

"Research demonstrates self compassion's positive association with a greater sense of self-worth, increased personal initiative, increased resilience to stress, more realistic self-appraisals of strengths and weaknesses, lower levels of depression and anxiety, reduced rates of burnout, increased motivation to make amends for past mistakes, and the list goes on," Schafler says.

Opting for self-compassion instead of self-punishment means you are more likely to learn from your mistakes and grow as a person.

This Positive Psychology Theory Will Help You Learn From Your Mistakes 

"When you punish someone, that person doesn't learn how to change; they learn how to avoid the source of the punishment." 

This positive psychology theory will help you learn from your mistakes: 'Punishment doesn't work'

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52129515-untamed">Untamed </a>is an inspiring memoir of Glennon Doyle, a woman who found peace and inner strength by challenging life in all its areas, from love to parenting, personal growth, and work, after going through a powerful change that led her to discover crucial aspects about herself and allowed her to build a new life.

Untamed - Book Summary 

"Grief is love's souvenir. It's our proof that we once loved. Grief is the receipt we wave in the air that says to the world: Look! Love was once mine. I love well. Here is my proof that I paid the price."-Glennon Doyle Martin

Author Quote

If you ever don’t know what your direction in life is, you’re not alone. When <a href="https://momastery.com/blog/about-glennon/">Glennon Doyle </a>turned her life around from the roots, things became challenging. However, she knew there was no other way to escape her unhappiness. Sometimes, intuition is the best tool we have. The author herself had to learn this the hard way. After years of striving for dreams that didn’t even feel like her own anymore, she decided to follow her gut. She did away with the unfitting life guidelines she once set for herself.

Book Overview 

As such, when she met Abby Wambach, the woman she would soon fall in love with, her life started to take a twist. Her true nature showed up and she felt as if her cage broke open. Now, there was nothing holding Glennon back from being her unapologetic self.  Her memoir, <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52129515-untamed">Untamed </a>, will inspire you to embrace the power within yourself and open up to new challenges, opportunities, and situations.

<ol><li>Don’t repress your true self, it will lead to unhappiness. </li><li>Putting yourself first can make you a better parent for your children. </li><li>Stop fighting what’s meant to be and embrace your true destiny. </li> </ol>

Top 3 Book Idea

There are times in life when we feel as if we’re stuck in a place where we don’t belong, no matter how hard we try to fit in. Sometimes these situations force us to learn important lessons about ourselves, such as who we are, what our boundaries are, or what we want out of our life.   This was the case for Doyle before she revealed her true identity and sexual orientation. Before meeting Abby, the author was living a picture-perfect life: she had a husband with whom she had children, a prosperous career, and a healthy family.

Lesson 1:  Your true nature will show eventually, so don’t force yourself into hiding it  .

In reality, she didn’t feel attracted to her spouse. And she was trying hard to keep up with the appearances she was presenting to her circle of friends and family. Then, she met Abby. Her <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/the-untethered-soul-summary/">soul </a>started to feel unsettling, disrupted, and different. After careful introspection, she realized that divorcing her husband was the best choice, and she was right! Currently, she’s living a happy, fulfilled life with Abby, has a fruitful career in writing, and has a great relationship with her children and ex-husband. Although difficult at first, living up to her true identity was worth it.

Being a perfect <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/13-things-mentally-strong-parents-dont-do-summary/">parent </a>is an impossible feat, yet every loving mother or father tries to achieve it. Frankly, many of them get pretty close, but mistakes do happen.  However, as long as you love your children and support them in their endeavors, your connection will grow stronger than ever. Doyle was the kind of parent who did everything right.

Lesson 2:  Being a good role model for your children sometimes means doing what’s best for you  .

For this reason, when she first considered getting a divorce, she felt awful. This decision could ruin her children’s lives, but staying unhappy could do the same for hers. What was there to do? As she was struggling with this decision, a thought popped into her mind.

Then, she knew exactly what she had to do. After all, what kind of example was she setting for her children? If pursuing and finding happiness was the ultimate goal, she had to achieve it, and that implied getting a divorce.  Her decision not only made her proud of herself but also strengthened her image as a role model for her children.

Just like Doyle, you too have a destiny of your own. Whether you’re directing your efforts in the right direction, or not, chances are you know deep down what it is that makes your mind, body, and soul happy.  Therefore, it would be wise to actively acknowledge that before it’s too late, and start living your life accordingly. Fortunately, the author realized that pretending to be the <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/battle-hymn-of-the-tiger-mother-summary/">perfect mother </a>, Christian, and wife wasn’t something she wanted to keep on doing.

Lesson 3:  When it’s meant to be, it will be, so stop fighting your true self  .

When everything kicked in, her life looked pretty stable and happy. In fact, she was scheduled to go on tour with her book. Still, when something is meant to be, it will be. So the timing was only a small impediment in her upcoming journey. After careful consideration, she decided that it was time to let everyone know that she will be getting a divorce. She assured her children that their family would still be a loving place for them. And so she let her followers know what was going on in her life.

Without further hiding or excuses, everyone was on the same page ― Doyle was now dating a woman. Instead of hurting her career, the news made her book release as successful as ever. Moreover, her <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/relationship-goals-summary/">love life </a>took off as well.  All the arrows were finally pointing in the right direction, and everything felt well in her heart. This powerful story now serves as an inspiration for people all over the world willing to turn their lives around for the better by following their intuition and dreams.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52129515-untamed">Untamed </a>will help any struggling, broken soul find <a href="https://nik.art/if-you-cant-beat-the-fear-just-do-it-scared">the courage to break out of their misery </a>and make their ambitions come true. Use Glennon’s hard-earned lessons as a wake-up call if you live under unrealistic expectations, unfit societal standards, or a life that you don’t want to claim as your own.  Reading her memoir will lift your spirit and teach you what a powerful mother and woman can do once she sets goals and boundaries and starts to respect herself truly.

Untamed - Book Review

The 30-year-old woman who feels miserable in her marriage and wants to find a way out, the 28-year-old single mother who is looking to become a better role model for her children, or the 35-year-old activist who is researching real-life stories about sexism, social injustice, or feminism.

Who would I recommend the Untamed to?

Untamed summary is an inspiring memoir of Glennon Doyle, a woman who found peace and inner strength by challenging life in all its areas.

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Philosophy

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Motivation & Inspiration

Untamed Summary

Remember teachers in school telling you you’d never achieve success in life if you ‘continued to have that attitude’? Turns out, that childhood warning was spot on, and success in life does indeed link deeply to having the right mindset to get you there. Inc.com wrote about a Stanford University study that found that having the right <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/how-to-be-optimistic-4-effective-ways-according-to-harvard">attitude </a>can legitimately make your <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/ways-to-train-your-brain-to-be-more-successful">mind </a>sharper and more efficient. The study claims a good bent of mind improves "the ability to answer math problems, increased <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/this-one-technique-can-improve-your-memory-significantly">memory </a>, and improved problem-solving <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/this-is-the-key-skill-you-need-to-be-professionally-successful-according-to-harvard">skills </a>".

So what exactly are the right attitudes? And more importantly, what are the wrong ones currently standing between you and the things you want…?

Mistakes are the most natural thing in the world–and <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/3-reasons-you-arent-a-millionaire-yet?fbclid=IwAR3Oc1hYbu6ndu5biC5IUzpJTmZIBIbVqxlRZMl0hB1XR7DmJRJWh0w6Kj0">successful people know that </a>. There is no success without a string of failures in its wake–and acknowledging that makes for a successful attitude. To be crushed by a mistake for a time is one thing–but letting it throw you off your path–or keep you from taking the right chances in the future–is entirely another. This sounds like a cliche, but mistakes are opportunities because they leave you a chance to learn from them. In every mistake, there is the chance for an autopsy that leads to the cause of failure–and helps you avoid the next one.

1. Getting Derailed By Your Own Mistakes 

Often, your greatest obstacle is really just yourself. You might think that sounds crazy; why on earth would you ever try to sabotage yourself when all you want is to be successful? However, you’d be surprised at how many people inadvertently cultivate behaviours that stop their progress and interrupt their productivity. A key component of self-sabotage is the grave error of setting impossibly high <a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/5-ways-to-set-goals-that-can-help-you-become-successful-according-to-the-harvard-business-review">goals </a>which set you up for failure and confirm your bias about not being able to achieve what you want.

2. Getting In Your Own Way

he idea isn’t, however, to have low goals, but to have realistic ones; ones you know you can actually achieve with effort. An examination of yourself and your own capabilities can prove really helpful to get rid of this attitude.

Who doesn’t love to be liked? But if your whole personality is geared toward making people like you, the odds are you’ll never be able to push past people’s expectations of you to live up to your own. Wanting to make people happy is nearly synonymous with being unable to say ‘no’, and that becomes your Achilles Heel when it comes to going after what you want. It’s also crucial to establish firm boundaries for yourself, or you’ll find that people will cross them without a second thought.

3. People Pleasing 

<a href="https://www.gqindia.com/get-smart/content/tips-from-bill-gates-on-how-to-gain-self-confidence">Bill Gates </a>has already warned against the rot that sets in the minute you believe you have no growing left to do. Thinking you know everything is a guaranteed recipe for you to become irrelevant and outdated because you stop striving to improve yourself and your work. Nobody is (or should be) done learning; that includes you. Reading, conversing with people, and taking every chance to upskill; all of these contribute to growth; the skill most necessary for professional success.

4. Thinking You Have Nothing Left To Learn

There Are 4 Defeatist Attitudes That Prevent Success In Life

Success in life links deeply to having the right mindset to get you there. Here are the wrong ones currently standing in between you and the things you want...

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Career

These are the 4 defeatist attitudes that prevent success in life, according to science

The state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter; the experience itself is so enjoyable that people will do it even at great cost, for the sheer sake of doing it.

The concept of flow

Optimal experience occurs when a person’s body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. Optimal experience is thus something that we make happen.The optimal state of inner experience is one in which there is order in consciousness.﻿Consciousness is not a strictly linear system, but one in which circular causality is obtained. Attention shapes the self, and is in turn shaped by it.

Optimal Experience

This, in turn, is related to goals and intentions. These processes are connected to each other by the self, or the dynamic mental representation we have of the entire system of our goals. These are the pieces that must be maneuvered if we wish to improveSelf → Psychic Energy → Attention → Goals & Intentions → Self

Experience depends on psychic energy - on the structure of attention.

The mark of a person who is in control of consciousness is the ability to focus attention at will, to be oblivious to distractions, to concentrate for as long as it takes to achieve a goal, and not longer. And the person who can do this usually enjoys the normal course of everyday lifePeople who learn to control inner experience will be able to determine the quality of their lives, which is as close as any of us can come to being happy.

Signs of A Conscious Being

<ol><li>Flow occurs when we confront tasks we have a chance of completing.</li><li>Ability to concentrate on what we are doing.</li><li>The concentration is possible because the task undertaken has clear goals and provides immediate feedback.</li><li>One acts with a deep but effortless involvement that removes from awareness the worries and frustrations of everyday life.</li><li>Enjoyable experiences allow people to exercise a sense of control over their actions.</li><li>Concern for the self disappears, yet paradoxically the sense of self emerges stronger after the flow experience is over.</li><li>The sense of the duration of time is altered.</li></ol>

How to experience flow ?

Complexity is the result of two broad psychological processes: differentiation and integration. Differentiation implies a movement toward uniqueness, toward separating oneself from others. Integration refers to its opposite: a union with other people, with ideas and entities beyond the self.

People become increasingly complex as a result of flow.

It will be to describe how people manage to join all experience into a meaningful pattern. When that is accomplished, and a person feels in control of life and feels that it makes sense, there is nothing left to desire. The fact that one is not slim, rich, or powerful no longer matters. The tide of rising expectations is stilled; unfulfilled needs no longer trouble the mind. Even the most humdrum experiences become enjoyable. Thus Flow will explore what is involved in reaching these aims.

The last step

When an important goal is pursued with resolution, and all one’s varied activities fit together into a unified flow experience, the result is that harmony is brought to consciousness. Someone who knows his desires and works with purpose to achieve them is a person whose feelings, thoughts, and actions are congruent with one another, and is therefore a person who has achieved inner harmony.

Harmony

What really makes people glad to be alive? What are the inner experiences that make life worthwhile? For more than two decades Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi studied those states in which people report feelings of concentration and deep enjoyment. His studies re

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Love & Relationships

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Books

“Csikszentmihalyi arrives at an insight that many of us can intuitively grasp, despite our insistent (and culturally supported) denial of this truth. That is, it is not what happens to us that determines our happiness, but the manner in which we make sense of that reality. . . . The manner in which Csikszentmihalyi integrates research on consciousness, personal psychology and spirituality is illuminating.” —Los Angeles Times Book ReviewThe bestselling classic that holds the key to unlocking meaning, creativity, peak performance, and true happiness. Legendary psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi's famous investigations of "optimal experience" have revealed that what makes an experience genuinely satisfying is a state of consciousness called flow. During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life. In this new edition of his groundbreaking classic work, Csikszentmihalyi ("the leading researcher into ‘flow states’" —Newsweek) demonstrates the ways this positive state can be controlled, not just left to chance. Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience teaches how, by ordering the information that enters our consciousness, we can discover true happiness, unlock our potential, and greatly improve the quality of our lives.

Mihaly Robert Csikszentmihalyi was a Hungarian-American psychologist. He recognized and named the psychological concept of "flow", a highly focused mental state conducive to productivity. He was the Distinguished Professor of Psychology and Management at Claremont Graduate University.

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Flow

<a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/lyssa-dehart/what-is-empathy-how-to-be-more-empathetic-in-all-of-your-relationships">Empathy is the ability to feel something for others </a>, to put yourself in their position and feel what they are going through, and have respect for others. By having empathy for others, you are a more respectful and kind person, but it goes even deeper than that, because there are three different types of empathy you can have, and they don't all look and feel the same.

The 3 types of empathy are cognitive empathy, emotional empathy, and compassionate empathy. Each different type manifests in its own way. However, even if you demonstrate one or more types of empathy, sometimes you can still come off as uncaring. Showing empathy takes time and effort, and it’s usually through the steps of learning the different types of empathy and when to use each.

What are the 3 types of empathy?

<a href="https://www.yourtango.com/experts/thethinking-otherwoman/what-people-mean-when-they-talk-about-empathy">Empathy is important </a>because you’re able to use your shared experiences and imagine what it’s like to be in a particular situation, even if you have never been and might never be in the future. This ultimately helps you succeed at relating to and helping others.

Cognitive empathy is the type of empathy where you put yourself in another person's shoes. It’s concerned with thought, understanding, and intellect. Cognitive empathy allows you to empathize with another person by being able to understand what they are feeling through shared experiences. Example of cognitive empathy : When your roommate comes home and her boyfriend just broke up with her, you let her know that you've been there and can understand what she's going through, helping her feel less alone.

1. Cognitive empathy

Pros: Cognitive empathy makes you a better communicator because it relies on information that, in a way, best connects with the other person. Cons: Cognitive empathy is said to be empathy by thought but not feeling. This means that there is a question of feeling empathy when there’s no sympathy that comes along with it.

How to practice and develop cognitive empathy : In order to practice cognitive empathy, next time you meet someone new, before you engage with them, consider what you know or don’t know about them. Be willing to learn more as you engage in a conversation. When talking to this person, keep in mind that you will have an <a href="https://www.yourtango.com/2021342110/common-types-of-bias-list-cognitive-biases">unconscious bias </a>as you interpret their mood or behavior, and keep in mind how they respond to you, verbally and physically.

Emotional empathy is when you physically feel another person's emotions alongside them. It’s concerned with feelings, physical sensations, and the mirror neurons in the brain. Example of emotional empathy : You would use emotional empathy when crying with others at a wedding or feeling a visceral human response when you see someone fall off a bike. Pros: This is a very important type of empathy to have because we can respond and even comfort our friends and family when they are going through something. By doing so, you build close interpersonal relationships.

2. Emotional empathy

Cons: With emotional empathy, you might end up in emotion overload. If you become overwhelmed a lot, practice self-control when using emotional empathy so you can manage your own emotions better. How to practice and develop emotional empathy: When a friend, family member, or significant other is telling you about a personal situation or struggle, try not to judge them. Instead, focus on how and why this person feels like that. Then, ask yourself how you can help and relate to what they are going through.

Compassionate empathy is all about finding the right balance between logic and emotion. Compassionate empathy deals with Intellect, emotion, and action. It’s what we typically understand as having empathy for others, like feeling someone's pain and taking action. Example of emotional empathy : When you see someone on the street asking for money, food, or help, you immediately walk over to them. This may include you offering them assistance or giving them a shoulder to cry on.

3. Compassionate empathy

Pros: Compassionate empathy is the kind of empathy everyone should strive to have. It's what we understand as having compassion for others and being concerned to help solve their problems. Cons: This is the type of empathy most people desire, but it’s hard for some to practice. You fully need to understand and sympathize with other people, while also taking action to help them.

How to practice and develop compassionate empathy: When you directly ask another person what you can do to help them, that is practicing compassionate empathy; if they don’t want you to help, ask yourself why. Remember that whatever might have worked for you in the past in their situation or for others, might not work for them.

The 3 Different Types Of Empathy - And How To Express Each One

There Are 3 Different Types Of Empathy, And It's Important For All Your Interpersonal Relationships To Know When To Use Each Of Them.

communication

Communication

The 3 Different Types Of Empathy — And How To Express Each One

The sun does not move.

The noblest pleasure is the joy of understanding

We know that mistakes are more easily detected in the work of others than himself.

A painter will produce pictures of little merit if he takes the work of others as a reference.

The more you know, the more you love.

Our greatest stupidities may be very wise.

The mind of the painter should be like a mirror that is filled with as many images as there are things in front of him.

This Book of Quotes includes important phrases by Leonardo da Vinci adapted in corresponding English-Spanish paragraphs. The book is excellent way to read Paragraph by Paragraph Translation as each individual English paragraph is paired with the corresponding Spanish paragraph. The paragraphs are not long, so there is no need to do a lot of back and forth to see the English translation and the Spanish text. Leonardo, like his contemporary Christopher Columbus, possessed an insatiable curiosity and desire for discovery of unknown worlds. Only observation, says many times Leonardo, is the key to knowledge and understanding. Throughout his life Leonardo seeks to understand and control the nature. He constructed machines and original installations, built bridges, dissected human bodies and trying to break into the Providence of God. He could be called "Master of everything", everything that exists in the Universe, for his art and his inventions. Leonardo can be called the Son of God.

Maria Tsaneva

Leonardo da Vinci: Quotes

<ul><li>Thinking in extremes. Using words like always, never, must, should, horrible, perfect etc</li><li>This type of thinking results in extreme emotions and can make a situation worse.</li><li>The key to resolve black and white thinking is to look at reality in a more nuanced manner and get honest with ourselves</li><li>Instead of saying ‘you never do something’ say that ‘she does these sometimes’.</li></ul>

Black and white thinking 

<ul><li>It justifies you.</li><li>It excuses you from work.</li><li>It protects you from feelings extreme emotions like disappointment, sadness etc.</li><li>It helps you feel powerless.</li><li>It kinda feels good.</li></ul>

Why do we think in ‘black or white’

<ul><li>Notice extreme words like 'always', 'never', 'horrible' etc.</li><li>Take a deep breath and slow down.</li><li>Name the emotion - like I feel angry, for example I feel  </li><li>Reframe your thoughts by - </li></ul><ol><li>Use both/and - You can feel two emotions at the same time. Eg I am smart and valuable but i make mistakes too.</li><li>Look for exceptions like "my husband does the dishes sometimes"</li></ol><ul><li>Be specific about the problem. Specify what’s troubling you. Instead of saying 'everything is horrible' describe what specifically is horrible.</li><li>Be accountable. What can be done to help the situation</li></ul>

Reframing black and white thinking

Reframe your thinking to see reality as more nuanced and varied.

Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246 Looking for affordable online counseling? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!” Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS. I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math” Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT” Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. If it’s so awful, why do we do it? You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve? 00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity 00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking 02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking? 05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive 06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking 07:10 How to think in the gray 10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell Sign up for my newsletter: https://www.therapyinanutshell.com?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/ Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health. In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services. Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

meditation

Meditation

Get the free guide to this episode: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/pl/2147654246

Looking for affordable online therapy? My sponsor, BetterHelp, connects you to a licensed professional from the comfort of your own home. Try it now for 10% off your first month: https://betterhelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Learn more in one of my in-depth mental health courses: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/?utm_medium=YTDescription&utm_source=YouTube

Black-and-white thinking is when you take a situation and think about it in an extreme way, you push out all the nuance and turn it into something as intense as possible. You can usually recognize it when you use words like “Always, Never, Perfect, Terrible, Everything, Everyone, Nothing, Nobody, Worst, or Best. The Arbinger Institute calls these “Horribilizations” You take something and horriblize it. 

Notice how in these situations, black and white thinking exaggerates the situation. 
A husband says to his wife: “You NEVER do the dishes! I ALWAYS have to clean up after you!”
Depressed Young Adult: “EVERYthing is awful. The world is a TERRIBLE place. Climate change is HOPELESS.  I’ll NEVER be able to succeed. I’m NO good at math”  
Someone at work: My boss is the WORST communicator. 
A young mother: “I’m just a TERRIBLE person” or “She has it ALL together, she’s such a SAINT”
Each time, the person takes a difficult situation and makes it horrible. They use the most extreme word. Never. Always. Everything. Hopeless. Terrible. 

The more extreme your thinking, the more intense your emotions will be, and the more likely you are to be depressed or anxious. But Black and White thinking also makes you helpless to escape that depression or anxiety. And it’s a lie. When you use B&W thinking, you are usually distorting nuanced reality by ignoring the good and exaggerating the bad. You’re lying. 

If it’s so awful, why do we do it? 
You subconsciously like black and white thinking because it serves a function in the short term. And like a drug, it makes you suffer in the long term. So what function does it serve?

00:00 Introduction to Emotional Reactivity
00:38 How to Identify Black and White Thinking
02:36 Why do we "like" black and white thinking?
05:52 How to be less emotionally reactive
06:15 How to reframe black and white thinking
07:10 How to think in the gray
10:15 summary of how to be less emotionally reactive
Support my mission on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/therapyinanutshell
Sign up for my newsletter: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/free-resources
Check out my favorite self-help books: https://kit.co/TherapyinaNutshell/best-self-help-books
Check out my podcast, Therapy in a Nutshell: https://tinpodcast.podbean.com/

Therapy in a Nutshell and the information provided by Emma McAdam are solely intended for informational and entertainment purposes and are not a substitute for advice, diagnosis, or treatment regarding medical or mental health conditions. Although Emma McAdam is a licensed marriage and family therapist, the views expressed on this site or any related content should not be taken for medical or psychiatric advice. Always consult your physician before making any decisions related to your physical or mental health.
In therapy I use a combination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Systems Theory, positive psychology, and a bio-psycho-social approach to treating mental illness and other challenges we all face in life. The ideas from my videos are frequently adapted from multiple sources. Many of them come from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, especially the work of Steven Hayes, Jason Luoma, and Russ Harris. The sections on stress and the mind-body connection derive from the work of Stephen Porges (the Polyvagal theory), Peter Levine (Somatic Experiencing) Francine Shapiro (EMDR), and Bessel Van Der Kolk. I also rely heavily on the work of the Arbinger institute for my overall understanding of our ability to choose our life's direction. 
And deeper than all of that, the Gospel of Jesus Christ orients my personal worldview and sense of security, peace, hope, and love https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/comeuntochrist/believe

If you are in crisis, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or your local emergency services.
Copyright Therapy in a Nutshell, LLC

Welcome to my passion project! I’m Emma McAdam, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, and my mission is to make mental health resources easier to access. I take therapy skills and psychological research and condense them down into bite-sized nuggets of help. 

As a licensed therapist, one thing I’ve noticed is that most people have no idea of what they can do to improve depression, anxiety, or other mental illness. 

I’m here to spread the message that while mental illness is real, it’s common, it’s debilitating, it’s also treatable. There are dozens of research-backed approaches to treating depression, anxiety, and other mental illness. Change, growth, and healing are possible. Please keep courage! Try one little thing every day to improve your life and health, and things can get so much better! 
I am not currently taking any new clients, but you can find a therapist with my sponsor: BetterHelp.com/therapyinanutshell

Therapy in a Nutshell

How to Be Less Emotionally Reactive: Black and White Thinking

How to Reframe Black and White Thinking and become less emotionally reactive

Find 100+ Psychology Facts about Human Behaviour, Mind or Nature - Curated from Videos, Podcasts, Books & Articles - Genuine Insights from Other People