<ul><li>Research suggests that mentally strong people have certain characteristics and personality traits that make them better equipped to bounce back from failure. Emotional maturity, for instance is particularly important for mental strength and resilience because it allows a person to see reality for what it is.</li><li>Conversely emotionally immature people tend not to accept reality and instead re-write inconvenient facts so that they better align with their pre-existing mindsets. </li></ul>

7 WAYS MENTALLY STRONG PEOPLE BOUNCE BACK FROM FAILURE

<ul><li>Mentally strong people, by contrast accept the consequences of their choices including the ability to move on.</li><li>Such inborn traits can certainty help. But every one can boost their resilience during tough times by availing themselves of certain strategies based on the following 7 things that mentally strong people do.</li></ul>

<ul><li>They realize that everyone has setbacks and perceived "failures" - such as divorce, lost jobs, losses in business etc, and that they are a part of life. Some element of failure and setback is to be expected when taking risks and moving out of one's comfort zone to, for instance achieve the goal. They resist the urge a blame themselves excessively by accepting reality for what it is.</li></ul>

1. THEY USE ACCEPTANCE

<ul><li> Mentally strong people are both open-minded and flexible about problem solving and tend to avoid rigid thinking. They provide positive and resilient self-talk to get through their set-backs. For example, the late author Wayne Dyer said: "If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Changing your narrative about a setback allows for new cognitive reframes and self-narratives to be created. Inventor Thomas Edison reframed his failed experiments to create a self-narrative " I haven't failed; I have only found 1000 ways that do not work."</li></ul>

2. THEY FRAME SETBACKS

<ul><li>They ask, " How could I have done this differently? What did I learn about what works, and what did I learn about what doesn't work?" Looking back at a recent breakup, for example, could teach someone to pay more attention to red flags or the intuition they set aside at the beginning of the relationship. </li></ul>

3. THEY LEVERAGE THEIR SETBACK FOR FAILURE GROWTH

<ul><li>Mentally strong people do not bury their feelings, nor do they wallow in them. They acknowledge them and give themselves time to process the setback. Feelings of sadness, disappointments, devastation, or rejection are normal and nothing to be afraid of.</li></ul>

4. THEY ARE HONEST WITH THEIR FEELINGS AND ACKNOWLEDGE DISAPPOINTMENTS.

<ul><li>Mentally strong people tend to have an optimistic outlook on life, and studies have shown that there is a relationship between optimism and life satisfaction through self-control and grit. They know that there is no failure that can't be overcome, as long as they keep trying. For example, the late Steve Jobs was fired from Apple a company he created. He later stated that "It was the best thing that ever happened." He used it as an opportunity to move in another direction, Creating NeXT and Pixar.</li></ul>

5. THEY ARE OPTIMISTIC 

<ul><li>Many mentally strong people lean on their spiritually as a source of strength. They realize that having a spiritual orientation can help them tap into a growth mindset. Resilience the ability to bounce back from disappointments along with spiritual beliefs, can help make meaning of each experience.</li><li>Individual spirituality can help promote both meaning and positive emotions such as gratitude over time.</li></ul>

6. THEY MAY MAKE MEANING OF THEIR EXPERIENCES AND SETBACKS THROUGH A SPIRITUAL LENS.

<ul><li>To tap into self-compassion when you're feeling down, try asking: "What would I say to a good friend who experienced what I'm experiencing?" Additionally, mindfulness techniques can help promote self-compassion as it helps someone acknowledge their feelings rather than push them away. Some mindfulness practices for example, encourage adherents to internally acknowledge that "This is a moment of suffering"</li><li>Further mindfulness can help someone remind themselves that they are not alone; indeed countless people are feeling just as they are, right at this very moment.</li></ul>

7. THEY ARE SELF-COMPASSIONATE

View the latest from the world of psychology: from behavioral research to practical guidance on relationships, mental health and addiction. Find help from our directory of therapists, psychologists and counselors.

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Mental Health

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Love & Relationships

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Human Resources

Health, Help, Happiness + Find a Therapist

Whether it’s a past mistake, a misunderstanding, or simply <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/90356572/how-to-recover-from-a-negative-first-impression">getting off on the wrong foot </a>, not everyone will have a high opinion of you. Unfortunately, that negative perception can impact your ability to work together, lead, or get ahead. If it’s a first impression, it can be hard to undo, says Dr. Theresa DiDonato, professor of psychology at Loyola University Maryland.

“Once formed, they create people’s future expectations, and these expectations shape subsequent interactions,” she says. “In other words, what people think of us can—through self-fulfilling prophesies—make us behave in ways aligned with their first impression of us.”

While it may be tempting, don’t write off a relationship, says Dr. Anisha Patel-Dunn, practicing psychiatrist and chief medical officer of LifeStance Health, a virtual and in-person outpatient mental health care provider. “Some people assume the worst about the future of a relationship when it doesn’t get off on the best foot and stop trying to further it altogether,” she says.

Fortunately, there are some things you can do. “Negative first impressions can be moved if new information undercuts the initial evaluation, not only offering positive impression info but, critically, offering new explanations for what was previously interpreted as evidence for a negative judgment,” says DiDonato.

Before trying to rectify what you think was a bad first impression, take a moment to reflect on the information and signals you’ve received from others, says Michaela Simpson, Ph.D., senior researcher at <a href="https://neuroleadership.com/">NeuroLeadership Institute </a>, global neuroscience-backed consultancy firm. “If have indeed made a negative first impression, decide whether it’s something that needs repairing,” she says. “In other words, will it negatively impact your ability to perform your job and to work collaboratively with others?”

Assess the Situation

For example, if you inadvertently made an insensitive comment to a team member, Simpson recommends reaching out to let them know you were nervous and acknowledge that you put your foot in your mouth.

Patel-Dunn suggest finding a way to reconnect and demonstrate more of your character. For example, if the bad first impression was made meeting a new client or on a job interview, follow up with a letter or email. “Thank them for their time, show more of your personality and authenticity so that you’re more comfortable with how the interaction ended,” she says. “That way, you can focus on the way you remedied the situation, rather than the uncomfortable encounter itself.”

Look for a Second Chance

It helps to get out of your own head, says Kindra Hall, president and chief storytelling officer at Steller Collective, a communications consulting firm, and author of the forthcoming book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/1400228409?tag=wwwfccom-20">Choose Your Story, Change Your Life </a>. “Chances are, you’re making it seem worse than it actually is,” she says. “The key to keeping it cool when you get a second chance is to change the story you have in your head.”

Focus on the Other Person

Hall recommends asking questions and moving the focus from you to them. “The best questions will encourage the individual to tell a story about themselves,” she says. “For example, if the next time you see them is at an industry event reception, ask, ‘Do you remember your first time at this event?’ We like people more who seem interested in us and we feel more connected to those with whom we exchange stories.”

Making sure your actions match how you want to be perceived is also important, says Roberta Matuson, author of <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Can-Talk-Principles-Difficult-Conversations/dp/1398601330?tag=wwwfccom-20">Can We Talk? Seven Principles for Managing Difficult Conversations at Work </a>. “Our behaviors matter, not our intention,” says Matuson. “I may like you to think of me in a certain way, but if my behaviors are in direct opposition of that I won’t change how you think.”

Pay Attention to Your Actions

Avoid trying to overcompensate or making too much of an effort to change their perception, says Hall. “While this is only natural, it will likely make things worse,” she says.

Don’t Try Too Hard

Whether you work in an office or interact with your colleagues online, you will very likely have frequent interactions with them, adds Simpson. “When you bring your authentic self to work and show your colleagues that you are competent, a team player, and that they can rely on you, the multiple interactions they have with you every day will eventually override that one moment they met you,” she says. “Be patient; these things take time.”

If you believe that someone’s opinion is harming your career, don’t be afraid to confront someone who may be harboring ill thoughts of you, says Matuson. “I don’t believe in going around the block to go next door; I believe in direct communication,” she says. “I believe in saying, ‘Here’s what I heard. Is that what you were told? If so, I’d like to present my side of the story.'”

But Know When to Address the Issue

While you may not care what others think, perception is important if you want to move up in an organization, says Matuson. “You may think you’re the greatest leader in the world, but if nobody else thinks that, it doesn’t matter what you think,” she says. “You have to work really hard and manage those relationships.”

How To Change Someone's Perception Of You

Don’t write off a relationship just because it got off to a bad start.


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Career

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Personal Development

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Problem Solving

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Communication

How to change someone’s perception of you

Learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to discipline. Happiness, success, and fulfillment stem from focus and self-control.with discipline and self-control we actually accomplish more of the goals we truly care about. Self-discipline is the bridge between goals defined and goals accomplished.

Self-awareness is a powerful tool for comfort zone expansion, but it requires constant focus and acknowledging your shortcomings, whatever they may be.Know your strengths, but more importantly, own up to your flaws. You can’t overcome them until you do.

1.Know your strengths and weaknesses.

If you want to enhance your productivity at work, improve the management of your To-Do’s, turn off social media notifications and silence your cell phone. Prioritize and execute.The fewer distractions you have, the more focused you will be on accomplishing your goals. Set yourself up for success by ditching bad influences.

2.Remove temptations

If you hope to achieve greater degrees of self-discipline, you must have a clear vision of what you hope to accomplish, just like any goalA clear plan outlines each time-bound step you must take to reach your goals. Create a mantra to keep yourself focused. Successful people use this technique to stay on track, emotionally connect to their mission, and establish a clear finish line.

3.Set clear goals and have an execution plan

work on building your self-discipline through daily diligence in a given area associated with a goal. This goes back to step three. In order to practice daily diligence, you must have a plan. Put it on your calendar, your to-do list, tattoo it on the back of your eyelids - whatever works best for you. With practice, anyone can push the boundaries of their comfort zone every day.

4.Practice daily diligence

Acquiring self-discipline and working to instill a new habit can feel daunting at first, especially if you focus on the entire task at hand. To avoid feeling intimidated, keep it simple. Break your goal into small, doable steps. Instead of trying to change everything at once, focus on doing one thing consistently and master self-discipline with that goal in mind.

5.Create new habits and rituals

When we embrace the mindset of unlimited willpower, we continue to grow, achieve more, and develop mental toughness. It’s the same philosophy as setting “stretch” goals. In short, our internal conceptions about willpower and self-control can determine how disciplined we are. If you can remove these subconscious obstacles and truly believe you can do it, then you will give yourself an extra boost of motivation toward making those goals a reality.

6.Change your perception about willpower

Going in with a plan will help give you the mindset and self-control necessary for the situation. You will also save energy by not having to make a sudden decision based on your emotional state.8

7.Give yourself a backup plan

The development of expertise requires coaches who are capable of giving constructive, even painful, feedback. Real experts are extremely motivated students who seek out such feedback. They’re also skilled at understanding when and if a coach or mentor’s advice doesn’t work for them.The best coaches also identify aspects of your performance that will need to be improved at your next level of skill and aid you in preparation.

8.Find trusted coaches or mentors

Even with all our best intentions and well laid plans, we sometimes fall short. It happens. You will have ups and downs, great successes and dismal failures. The key is to keep going. Learn from your missteps and forgive yourself. Then get your head back in the game and violently execute. Good luck!

9.Forgive yourself and move forward

Learning to effectively lead yourself and others all comes down to discipline. Happiness, success, and fulfillment stem from focus and self-control. Self-discipline is the bridge between goals defined and goals accomplished.

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Productivity

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Motivation & Inspiration

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Habits

9 Powerful Ways To Cultivate Extreme Self-Discipline

Projection is a <a href="https://www.verywellmind.com/defense-mechanisms-2795960">defense mechanism</a> in which an individual recognizes their unacceptable traits or impulses in someone else to avoid recognizing those traits or impulses in themselves subconsciously.People protect their self-esteem by denying characteristics, impulses, or feelings they find threatening while seeing those same characteristics in someone else.

Projection as a Defense Mechanism

<ul><li>A wife is attracted to a male co-worker but can't admit her feelings, so when her husband talks about a female co-worker, she becomes jealous and accuses him of being attracted to the other woman.</li><li>A man who feels insecure about his masculinity mocks other men for acting like women.</li><li>Someone feels guilty for feeling the urge to steal, leading them to suspect that others are planning to take their wallet or other valuables.</li><li>A young man ignores his own aggressive impulses and instead inaccurately believes his friend has aggressive tendencies.</li></ul>

Examples of Projection

We always see our own unavowed mistakes in our opponent.

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

In the short term, projection can be helpful. By denying uncomfortable truths about themselves, people can better cope with their anxieties and maintain their self-esteem.However, projection can ultimately become harmful because it can disrupt interpersonal relationships and lead to issues like bullying, jealousy, and victim-blaming.

Impact of Defensive Projection

<ul><li>The first step is self-reflection. Try to be honest with yourself about what makes you insecure and anxious, and examine the traits and impulses you have that you may least like about yourself.</li><li>Then, attempt to view your behavior objectively to see if you may be projecting any of the anxieties you have about yourself onto someone else. Try not to judge yourself during this exploration; observe and honestly assess without dwelling on anything you uncover.</li></ul>

How to Recognize and Overcome Projection

Don't Take Anything Personally. Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

Projection is when one sees the traits that they find unacceptable in themselves in others. Learn about the origin and impact of the defense mechanism projection.

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Science & Nature

What Is a Projection Defense Mechanism?

Scars heal on their own on the outside. Then they leave a mark, a reminder of nature's resilience and our ability to overcome painsBut sometimes scars arent on the outside and they also leave a mark. Whatever that mark is, we carry it with us consciously and other times unconsciously.

Healing Scars

Ive always wondered if emotional scars can actually manifest physiologically. Being in the health and fitness field and connecting with friends and clients on that level gave me some insights.For instance posture and body language, are they in any way rooted in our present and past states of mind? Also stress consumers in general, whats their relationship with food like? Does that mental relationship of consumption manifest on physical wellbeing? Social experiences? What about their relationship with themselves? Then i started seeing a pattern emerge.

Scars Healing

An overweight client of mine was bullied in school. It was ugly. He eventually developed a tendency to slouch forward so his tshirt drops over his man boobs. 10 years later he has round shoulders, over developed glutes and tight hamstrings.A year into a fitness program he is slim with tight abs. Eventhough he worked on all the physical misallignments, when not aware of his posture he resorted back to slouching. It took him another 2 years working on his self esteem with a therapist to finally correct his posture.This is one example of the difference between mental and physical healing.

Physical Vs Mental Healing

If u ever went to a life coach session or followed a guru on instagram you probably heard the term ancestral healing. The basic lesson is this; some emotional traumas are pick up as kids subconsciously. Imagine a 2 year old seeing a parent freaking out at the beach and never going for a swim. At that age parents are basically gods to us. How do u think this affects the child growing up?Its very hard recollecting memories from that age, but is it possible that some of our fears have been passed down from our parents or even their parents? Just looking into this is a personal healing process.

Ancestral Healing

The term healing is sometimes misused. From a holistic prespective, the process of healing is natural and healthy. The misuse of it comes when its used as a tool to make u think ur broken and require (place product here) to get fixed.

Warning

Are u breaking inside? Not the sharp edged break, but the resonance of what created it, the sudden magnitude of impact that made no sense to the senses, time feels slower, you became naturally numb, and possibly dumbed down to frozen.. but that was once, now ur left with cracklings, an echo of a distant past where the pain was so strong it created an actual void. The story of a feeling that transcends time, and is physically manifest in your reactions and how you experience the present.

What Is Emotional Pain

But still... what is this pain you're so used to that you actively seek and sometimes find comfort in its warmth. Is it trully a warm cave of a once cold crack, or are you just numbing the pain by building camp fires in your head.. have you trully healed or are you just accepting the voids. Are they one and the same?

Numbing Pain

The story is in the story line, the role of fire in the plot of a crack becoming a warm cave in your mind, or the more mystical musical scale that forever loops. Which musical notes resonate with those base chords that once defined your world through pain?!You are both the instrument and the musician and some of those pains are just notes along a scale of an emotional past. Serving as a reminder and a contrast from pleasures to help facilitate self-rewarding behavior, to augment self regulation and to enhance cognitive control, reducing rumination and demonstrating virtue.

Your Pains Are Your Own

What is this pain you're so used to that you actively seek and sometimes find comfort in its warmth.

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Meditation

Can Emotional Scars Manifest Physically?

It frees you to pursue your own interests, both personal and professional. To that end, it’ll boost your productivity, improve your relationships, and fill you with a sense of confident calm that may seem alien to you at this moment.

Saying no to people is one of the most important skills you can

Being assertive means having the self-confidence to express your needs and wants, and pursue your own ends, even in the face of opposition. It involves telling people where you stand on a given topic and leaving no room for confusion. Assertiveness is declaring your point of view and not feeling as if you need others’ approval or validation. It is a learned trait.

Psychology of Assertiveness

We want others to be drawn to us, to trust us, and to feel better for having spent time with us. It's unsurprising that we often say yes when we know we should say no. It's an instinctive response borne of our longing for other people's approval. But it's important to recognize this yearning for validation as a trigger for our tendency to say yes. When we're aware of our motivations, we can review them and take steps to realign our decisions with our values.

We want others to like us

Emotional bullying occurs when one person makes another feel afraid, angry, or self-conscious for the purpose of achieving his or her ends. This is accomplished through a variety of means, including the following: yelling, swearing, making threats, lobbing insults, humiliation, making accusations. Take the high road. Because you're aware that the abuser is knowingly being manipulative, you'll be less compelled by his or her tactics. You won't feel shamed, fearful, guilty, or embarrassed. Instead, you'll recognize the bully's shouting and swearing as indications of his or her personality flaws.

We succumb to emotional bullying

Burdened with a low self-image, we mistakenly believe our time is worth less than others' time. We wrongly assume our goals and interests are inferior to other people's goals and interests. We perceive our value to the world as somehow less than the value offered by those around us.

Disappointment springs from unmet expectations. When you acknowledge this fact, you'll find it easier to let go of your fear of disappointing people when you say no to them. You'll come to appreciate that their disappointment is neither your fault nor responsibility. This perspective will give you the courage to stop accommodating every request and invitation that comes your way.

You're not responsible for causing others disappointment

The more you do it, the more you'll come to realize that your time, commitments, and aspirations are just as important as those of the requestor.

Saying no can actually improve your sense of self-worth.

The word "no" carries an air of final-ity. Many people are ill-prepared to hear it, and lack the ability to accept it with poise and understanding.

Replace “no” with another word

If we avoid taking ownership of our decisions to decline requests, we never feel truly empowered with a sense of personal agency. Every time we say "I can't," we train our minds to avoid taking responsibility. Over time, this gives us the false sense that we're not in control.

Take ownership of your decision

They have higher expectations of you than your coworkers, friends, and neighbors. They expect you to drop what you're doing to help them. The solution is to set new expectations. You must establish boundaries that are respected by your relatives. Create rules regarding what you're willing to help with and what you're not willing to help with.

Saying no to extended family can be uncomfortable

Stop Being A People Pleaser! Learn How To Set Boundaries And Say NO - Without Feeling Guilty! Are you fed up with people taking advantage of you? Are you tired of coworkers, friends, and family members demanding your time and expecting you to give it to them?If so, THE ART OF SAYING NO is for you.Imagine being able to turn down requests and decline invitations with confidence and poise. Imagine saying no to people asking you for favors, and inspiring their respect in the process. DOWNLOAD The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!) Amazon bestselling author, Damon Zahariades, provides a step-by-step, strategic guide for setting boundaries and developing the assertiveness you need to maintain them. You'll learn how to say no in every situation, at home and in the workplace, according to your convictions. And best of all, you'll discover how to get your friends, family members, bosses, coworkers, and neighbors to respect your boundaries and recognize your personal authority.In THE ART OF SAYING NO, you'll discover: my personal struggle with being a people pleaser (and how I overcame the habit!) the top 11 reasons we tend to say yes when we know we should say no 10 simple strategies for turning people down with finesse why saying no to people doesn't make you a bad person (the opposite is true!) the best way to develop the habit of setting personal and professional boundaries how to know whether you're a people pleaser (and how to gauge the severity of the problem) PLUS, BONUS MATERIAL: dedicated sections on saying no to your spouse, kids, friends, neighbors, coworkers, clients, bosses, and even strangers!If you're sick and tired of being taken for granted, grab your copy of THE ART OF SAYING NO today! Start taking control of your life by learning how to say that simple, beautiful word: "No."Scroll to the top of the page and click the "BUY NOW" button!

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Books

Stop Being A People Pleaser! Learn How To Set Boundaries And Say NO - Without Feeling Guilty! Are you fed up with people taking advantage of you? Are you tired of coworkers, friends, and family members demanding your time and expecting you to give it to them?If so, THE ART OF SAYING NO is for you.Imagine being able to turn down requests and decline invitations with confidence and poise. Imagine saying no to people asking you for favors, and inspiring their respect in the process. DOWNLOAD The Art Of Saying NO: How To Stand Your Ground, Reclaim Your Time And Energy, And Refuse To Be Taken For Granted (Without Feeling Guilty!) Amazon bestselling author, Damon Zahariades, provides a step-by-step, strategic guide for setting boundaries and developing the assertiveness you need to maintain them. You'll learn how to say no in every situation, at home and in the workplace, according to your convictions. And best of all, you'll discover how to get your friends, family members, bosses, coworkers, and neighbors to respect your boundaries and recognize your personal authority.In THE ART OF SAYING NO, you'll discover: <ul> <li>my personal struggle with being a people pleaser (and how I overcame the habit!)</li> <li>the top 11 reasons we tend to say yes when we know we should say no</li> <li>10 simple strategies for turning people down with finesse</li> <li>why saying no to people doesn't make you a bad person (the opposite is true!)</li> <li>the best way to develop the habit of setting personal and professional boundaries</li> <li>how to know whether you're a people pleaser (and how to gauge the severity of the problem)</li> </ul> PLUS, BONUS MATERIAL: dedicated sections on saying no to your spouse, kids, friends, neighbors, coworkers, clients, bosses, and even strangers!If you're sick and tired of being taken for granted, grab your copy of THE ART OF SAYING NO today! Start taking control of your life by learning how to say that simple, beautiful word: "No."Scroll to the top of the page and click the "BUY NOW" button!

Productivity expert Damon Zahariades is owner of ArtOfProductivity.com, a site devoted to showing you how to hack your day to get more things done. He wasn't always productive. Damon spent many years in Corporate America, dragging himself to ridiculous meetings and enduring the impromptu "drive-by" visits of his coworkers, before striking out on his own. Today, he owns his own content marketing agency and creates action guides that show others how to boost their productivity.

Damon Zahariades

The Art of Saying No

What is Self-Awareness? It is the ability to recognize and understand one's own emotions, thoughts, and actions. It involves being aware of the present moment, one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and the environment around them.

Self-Understanding

Self-awareness is important because it helps us better understand our emotions, thoughts, and behaviours. It allows us to be in tune with our needs, strengths, and weaknesses, so we can make more conscious decisions. It also helps us to communicate better with others, set achievable goals, and be more confident in our abilities.<a href="https://productive.fish/blog/self-awareness/">Being self-aware</a> can help us create meaningful relationships, overcome personal challenges, and lead a more fulfilling life.

Why is Self-Awareness Important?

<a href="https://productive.fish/blog/self-awareness/">Increasing self-awareness</a> involves taking a deliberate and intentional approach to understand and reflect on one's thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. This process of introspection and self-reflection can lead to greater understanding of one's strengths, weaknesses, motivations, and habits.By becoming more aware of these aspects of ourselves, we can make more informed decisions, develop healthier relationships, and work towards personal growth and fulfillment.

How to Increase Self Awareness

Regularly take time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors, and how they impact your daily life.

Practice mindfulness and introspection

Ask friends, family members, or coworkers for their perspectives on your behavior and habits.

Seek feedback from others

Writing down your thoughts, feelings, and experiences can help you gain insight into your patterns of behavior and emotions.

Keep a journal

Consider participating in activities such as meditation, therapy, or workshops that encourage self-reflection and self-discovery.

Engage in self-reflection activities

Self-awareness is the conscious knowledge and understanding of one's own personality, feelings, thoughts, and sensations.

Uncover what is self-awareness, why does it matter, and how to improve your self-awareness to reach your goals and live a more positive life.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

teamwork

Teamwork

What Is Self-Awareness and How to Improve It

It takes strength to be good, and it takes more than courage to be powerful. You know how they say power corrupts, no it doesnt, it just exposes. Power amplifies and exposes cognitive and behavioral predispositions that already exist within us.The traits and characteristics required to excersise power are not the same ones required to gain it. Temperence is the ability to moderate our actions, thoughts and feelings, and is the virtue required to keep the lust for power under control. Allow me to dig deep into that mechanism..

Power Amplifies 

Emotional power or power excersised from the heart is directly proportional to our capacity for emotional regulation and acceptance; and rational power or power excersised from the mind is directly proportional to our capacity for applying logic and intuition.Any imbalance between mind and heart and the power expressed becomes either bias towards coercion and control or emotional manipulation. Power for the sake of power is basically the mind feeding off the heart or the heart feeding off the mind..

Emotional & Rational Power

Exercising power from a place of strength is virtue, and contrary when power is saught after to fill a void it originates from a lack or weakness. That lack is either rooted in the heart or mind, and one gain is at the expense of the other.For example, your own reasoning can utelise or feed off fear to suppress or avoid expressions of unregulated emotions, and the backlash is usually guilt or resentment. Likewise, a lack of confidence may feed off the rationale of the ego to avoid confrontations by a fake sense of control, and the backlash is usually shame or a lowered self esteem.

Strength

We need to align our behaviour and cognition to make it easier to realize our intended goals when excersing our power. Seeking power for the sake of power feeds our ego, no matter how powerful we may seem, if it originates from a lack it will need to feed on the weak and is only powerful in that said contrast.Weakness has no virtue, choosing when to excersise power takes strength, choosing how to excersise power takes courage, and choosing who to excersise power on takes humility and modesty.

Weakness

Gaining power is an endeavour, wanting it is not wrong, but in order for it to be balanced it needs to draw from feelings, emotions and imagination as much as observation, analysis and logic. It takes both control and a restrain of impulses to be able to do something powerful, in other words, most of our bad habits are due to a lack of willpower.Temperence is the ability to moderate our actions, thoughts and feelings, can you see the link?

Will Power

Power amplifies and exposes cognitive and behavioral predispositions that already exist within us.

philosophy

Philosophy

history

History

strategy

Strategy

politics

Politics

Power As A Virtue

#1. Put your children first#2. Accept different parenting styles#3. Be calm and focus on connection#4. Keep to regular routines within families#5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan#6. Be open and flexible#7. When your co-parent won’t be flexible

7 Co-Parenting Tips for Children

During separation, children may experience big and challenging feelings such as grief, anger, frustration, isolation, and loneliness. It's important to acknowledge their emotions and be there for them. Support and stay in contact with your co-parent, to ensure your children feel safe. If your child can't stay overnight with the other parent, think of alternative ways for them to bond. Putting the children's needs first is key.

1. Put your children first

It's important to talk to your children about different parenting styles and household rules, respecting that each is okay as long as the child is safe.<ul><li>Recognize if fear of letting children stay with the other parent overnight is due to legitimate safety concerns or the need for control. </li><li>Ask yourself if being with the other parent is harmful or just different routines. </li><li>Avoid fighting and broken relationships by letting them go if safe.</li></ul>

2. Accept different parenting styles

Be a positive role model for your children. Show them how to handle change and unexpected events by staying calm and composed, even when things don't go according to plan. Encourage connection with their other parent by having photos, phone calls, and responding positively to their stories. Your children are watching and taking cues from you, so lead by example and focus on connecting with them when they are with you.

3. Be calm and focus on connection

Routines bring stability and improved resiliency to families during uncertain times. Determine your family's specific needs and prioritize 2-3 morning, afternoon, or evening routines to anchor the day and keep it on track.

4. Keep to regular routines within families

Having a plan for parenting responsibilities and care arrangements is essential for a successful co-parenting relationship. Putting the needs of the children first and using common sense decision making can help navigate the new relationship between parents and minimize miscommunication. The plan should include a schedule for:<ul><li>Visitation</li><li>Education</li><li>Medical needs</li><li>Financial support</li><li>Special occasions</li><li>And guidelines for decision making and conflict resolution.</li></ul>

5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan

<ul><li>Be flexible in co-parenting arrangements</li><li>Use common sense to solve challenges</li><li>Give notice and communication options to other parent</li><li>Be open to conversations and adjustments</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Practice mutual understanding, as it may be your turn to request adjustments.</li></ul>

6. Be open and flexible

Co-parenting after separation is a complicated process that requires organization, communication, and flexibility. It's important to work together to navigate co-parenting challenges and find solutions that work for each family's specific situation. 

Learn why it is important to work together when it comes to co-parenting to ensure good family relationships in this blog.

7 Tips for Co-Parenting Your Children

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