Empathy is the ability to understand and share someone's emotions. Empathy is vital for moral development, maintaining close relationships, fostering relations between groups and preventing aggression.  Most empathy-building interventions focus on developing the ability to take another person's perspective. However, having a clear understanding of oneself is also important for the ability to empathise.

Empathising well

Psychologists characterise a person's sense of self by assessing their self-concept clarity. <ul><li>People with high self-concept clarity say that they have a clear idea about what they are like, that their sense of who they are becomes stable over time, and that their characteristics and beliefs about themselves are consistent.</li><li>People with low self-concept clarity are unsure of who they are, including their characteristics or desires. The characteristics they use to describe themselves might be contradictory or change from one day to the next.</li></ul>

A sense of self

To empathise well, you need to understand that you and your experience are distinct from another person and their experience. Some people are more capable of making this self-other distinction than others. Researchers suggest the ability to make this distinction might be related to helpful ways of empathising, such as listening and understanding how other people are feeling.

Self-other distinction

Personal distress could result from poor self-other distinction - for example, forgetting that the other person's experience, not your own, is the source of your emotional state. Feeling overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety on behalf of the other person isn't really about the other person's feelings but your own. However, having a clear sense of self should make it easier to appreciate how you are different from other people and to mentally separate yourself from them. It helps you to share another person's emotional experience with an appropriate level of distance.

Creating an appropriate level of distance

One way to establish a clearer sense of self is by identifying your values, such as honesty, spontaneity or ambition.  Being clearer about who you are could make it easier to sense where you end, and another person begins – and to respond to their feelings in a helpful way.

Improving empathic response

Those who lack a clear self-concept might get consumed by another’s experience, becoming distressed rather than helpful

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Why self-understanding could be important for empathising well | Psyche Ideas

Originally created by Alexander Afanasyev in the 1990's about the attitudes/views of how one sees the world, also know as psyche-yoga/Attitudinal psyche

Psychosophy

Having a sense of meaningfulness1st Function: Go-getters, & rather intimidating, set in their ways & going about life regardless of outside influences, & it's rather in their unconscious of how they get the things they get done, done2nd Function: These people find it easy to discuss about willpower & getting where they need to go with other people, drive for experimentation of all kinds 3rd Function: May be inclined to psychiatric symptoms when unhealthy, but when developed completely nothing can stop them from achieving4th Function: Forgets their purpose likes when others help them find it

Will/Violition

Material world/the body1st Function: May develop brute force in getting the things in the physical world, unconsciously.2nd Function: Likes discussing money exercise, physical world stuff, not selfishness in that respect. Enjoy sharing simple physical touch such as a handshake/pat on the back/etc.3rd Function: Feel insecure about their bodies, but it is also their greatest strength, maybe be involved heavily in sports4th Function: Forgets about their physical needs & enjoys when others can help them push through.

Physics

The view of ideas/concepts1st Function: A disregard of others ideas/concepts but they do this in an unconscious way. Stubborn in their way of thinking, rather not to be swayed.2nd Function: Love of communication, inclined to express any of the other aspects through concepts. 3rd Function: Rather skeptic about concepts, enjoy crosswords, logic driven tasks. Appreciates meaningless chatter. Silent & cautious.4th Function: Doesn't care about ideas as much as positively letting others decide or direct a conversation.

Logic

The attitude towards art/beauty/externals1st Function: Unconsciously, either feel out their emotions or greatly hides them from others. Crying often is childhood is a sign of having this function2nd Function: Might seek validation from others, love of gatheing artistic research of speeches as such. Actors usually have this function, easy to dialogue & cry on que.3rd Function: Not the fan of children, in calm conversing w/ there is no discomfort. Not in touch w/ emotions, can get confused as to why someone cries4th Function: Impartial critictic, comsumes rather than creates, best as a spectator

Emotion

These are just brief descriptions I'd recommend getting the book "The Synax of Love" by Alexander Afanasyev if you can find it (hard to find) but also Attitudinal Psyche would be as helpful from their website!

Conclusion

Attitudinal Psyche was created to represent a distinct and more developed system of personality than Psyche Yoga as discovered by R. Collopy.

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Health

problemsolving

Problem Solving

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Communication

Attitudinal Psyche - Take the Test and Discover Yourself Today

We might have observed and read about many great people’s stories, their struggles, and their journey. And whenever we read one, our minds might wander in the thoughts of how to reach our goals and how to achieve what they have.

Stories And Thoughts

Those successful people have achieved money, fame, and name by doing their work diligently. They love what they do that doesn’t mean they didn’t work hard to be where they are right now.All those successful people never prioritized money, fame above their work. They simply wanted to achieve great heights in what they do.

Diligent Work

Well, it is simple and doesn’t require hours of lessons to acquire that skill.In this glamorous world where getting popular looks all glitter and seem the only hallway. People tend to dodge the darkness it brings along with it.Now coming to the point before mastering any skill in the world try to master the ‘human skill’.

What is that skill?

This skill gives us the potential to ‘be us.'We all are in search of wealth and happiness. The moment we see someone wealthy and popular we desire to be them. Instead of desiring to be the next someone be the next you.This human skill gives us the desire to incorporate all the human values which in the long term helps us to achieve our goals.

What is this human skill?

In a world where people are trying to be the “who’s the next millionaire” or “famous person”, have lost all sorts of responsibilities that stick to humankind.<ul><li>Before becoming famous, become a kind person.</li><li>Before becoming the next millionaire, become a humble person.</li></ul>“Money is important but it is not everything”

Who's Next?

“Fame opens new doors but at the end of the day we all breathe the same air”<ul><li>Instead of focusing on those particular terminologies ‘wealth’, ‘fame’, ‘name’, try to focus on “being honest to yourself”, “humility” and “integrity”.</li><li>This will not only let us be in the “now” moment but also increase our chances of achieving all our goals effortlessly.</li><li>Indirectly we also gain a sense of gratefulness for all our present blessings.</li></ul>

Dark Side Of Fame

“Don’t try to become the next someone, try to become the next human being”

Repurposed the content from one of my blogs written on Medium. Read to know what is the one skill we need to achieve anything in this world.

I have observed and read about many great people’s stories, their struggles, and their journey. And whenever I read one, my mind only wanders in the thoughts of how to reach my goals how to achieve…

moneyandinvestments

Money & Investments

Master “This One” Skill To Achieve Anything Effortlessly

There’s a simple reason for that: as expressed by researchers for the Review of General Psychology, “If satisfaction and pleasure were permanent, there might be little incentive to continue seeking further benefits or advances.”In other words, feeling contented wasn’t good for the species.Our ancestors worked harder and strove further because they evolved to be perpetually perturbed, and so we remain today.

Why Are We Perpetually Restless And Unsatisfied?

Or, the 4 psychological factors that make satisfaction temporary.<ol><li>Boredom</li><li> Negativity Bias</li><li>Rumination</li><li>Hedonic Adaptation</li></ol>Taken together, these 4 components add up to a lot of dissatisfaction in life, even if our circumstances are truly great.As the author of one study explains, as “new goals continually capture one’s attention, one constantly strives to be happy without realizing that in the long run such efforts are futile.”Humans may be wired to pursue happiness, but we’re not too well equipped to experience it.

The 4 Components of Dissatisfaction

The lengths people will go to avoid boredom are shocking. Literally.A 2014 study published in Science observed participants who were asked to sit in a room and think for fifteen minutes. The room was empty except for a device that allowed participants to mildly but painfully electrocute themselves.“Why would anyone want to do that?” you might ask.The study demonstrated that people dislike being alone with their thoughts so much, they’ll prefer to do anything else, even if that activity is negative.

Dissatisfaction Factor #1: Boredom

It’s been defined as “a phenomenon in which negative events are more salient and demand attention more powerfully than neutral or positive events.”Such pessimism begins very early in life. Babies begin to show signs of negativity bias starting at just 7 months of age, suggesting this tendency is inborn. As the author of one study concluded, “It appears to be a basic, pervasive fact of psychology that bad is stronger than good.” Good things are nice, but bad things can kill you. That’s why we pay attention to the bad stuff first and remember it better.

Dissatisfaction Factor #2: Negativity Bias

If you’ve ever chewed on something that you did, or that someone did to you, over and over again, then you’ve experienced rumination, which is our tendency to keep thinking about bad experiences.This “passive comparison of one’s current situation with some unachieved standard,” can manifest in self-critical thoughts such as, “Why can’t I handle things better?”As one study notes, “By reflecting on what went wrong and how to rectify it, people may be able to discover sources of error or alternative strategies, ultimately leading to not repeating mistakes and possibly doing better in the future.”

Dissatisfaction Factor #3: Rumination

Hedonic adaptation is the tendency to quickly return to a baseline level of satisfaction no matter what happens to us in life and may be the cruelest of all 4 factors. Hedonic adaptation is Mother Nature’s bait-and-switch. All sorts of life events we think would make us happier actually don’t—or at least, not for long.As David Myers writes in The Pursuit Of Happiness, “Every desirable experience—passionate love, a spiritual high, the pleasure of a new possession, the exhilaration of success—is transitory.”

Dissatisfaction Factor #4: Hedonic Adaptation

Dissatisfaction is responsible for our species’ advancements, and if you never felt it, you’d be at a serious disadvantage. Discontent is not a reason to give up on success. Rather, it’s a reason to introduce the opportunity for frequent and meaningful victories into our lives. Every day is a chance to live according to our values, which Nir Eyal defines as “attributes of the person we want to be”. Living out our values means spending our time purposefully on the things that we decide are important.

Dissatisfaction Is Energy

We can live out our values—very concretely—if we build our values into our calendar. That “simply” means scheduling time for what matters most. By turning our values into time, we make sure we have time for traction. At the end of the day, we can look at what we intended to do, compare it to what we ended up doing, and celebrate our victory when we stayed on track.If you (still) find yourself feeling unhappy with life, that doesn’t mean you’ve been defeated.The takeaway here is that if you’re unhappy, you’re normal.

How We Can Live Out Our Values

The 18th century poet Samuel Johnson said, “My life is one long escape from myself.” Sounds “‘mad, bad and sad”? The truth is, we’re not wired to feel content or satisfied. Ever. Here’s the surprising psychology of why dissatisfaction is hardwired and why that’s a good thing.

Why are we perpetually restless and unsatisfied? The truth is, we’re not wired to feel content or satisfied. Here's why that's a good thing.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Why We’re Never Going to Be Satisfied With Life

Stereotypes are preconceived ideas about groups of people which are firmly based on the experience of that individual, and they influence our first impression about a person or a gender or a community. Basically stereotypes are like *PRECONCEIVED PICTURES IN OUR HEAD WHICH LEADS TO MISCONCEPTIONS*

Stereotypes 

If everyone would know how genetic memory works in transmitting a dominant traits from one generation to another generation, everyone would be particularly developing good traits/habits only

You Are Responsible For What You Are And What You Are Not

If you dig deep into your thoughts psychologically with some touch of philosophy obviously your thoughts will be provoked

Thought Provoking 

your emotions and feelings are based on schematic experiences, and manipulate your thoughts while observing the situation, and the emotional arousal doesn't let you to observe the situation pragmatically, and then you start judging the situation with your own ideologies and experiences that you have gone through in past and you may contaminate your thoughts and form a distorted opinions about the actual situation and you may not try to find out the truth anymoreHENCE EMOTIONS ARE THE MANIPULATORS OF HUMAN ACTIVITIES

Schemata (Psychology)

My moto is to eradicate all the illusions that people are living in 

philosophy

Philosophy

My own thoughts 

Coherence therapy, formerly known as depth-oriented brief therapy (DOBT), is a type of <a href="https://thehumancondition.com/psychotherapy-introduction-benefits/">psychotherapy</a> that derives from depth psychology, which refers to the study of the unconscious aspects of the human experience. Practitioners of coherence therapy believe that the conscious and unconscious parts of the mind have essential roles in a person’s psychological well-being. The treatment is based on neurobiological principles and constructivist theory (i.e., the theory that people construct their own knowledge) and is used to address a broad range of concerns.

Coherence Therapy: Description, Effectiveness, and Benefits

Coherence therapy, formerly known as depth-oriented brief therapy (DOBT), is a type of psychotherapy that derives from depth psychology, which refers to the study of the unconscious aspects of the human experience.

Coherence Therapy: Description, Effectiveness, and Benefits - The Human Condition

Regardless of the reason why you decide to end a relationship, it can be a really intense ordeal — especially if you still have feelings for your partner. At this point, most of us have learned that it takes a lot more than just love for a healthy relationship to thrive. The hardest relationships to end are often the ones that can't work because of differing or conflicting goals, even if both people still have deep feelings for each other. Let me tell you: Figuring out <a href="https://www.elitedaily.com/p/6-signs-youre-ready-to-break-up-with-your-partner-so-get-ready-to-have-the-talk-9864046">how to break up with someone when you want different things </a>ain't easy, folks.

It's Not Easy

Once you've been with someone for a while, you probably have a clear idea of what their priorities, dreams, and goals are for the near and distant future. Sometimes it becomes clear that you both want different things out of life that just can't coexist in the same relationship. “Depending on what the big life goals are, [if they don't align] this can be a dealbreaker,” Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist <a href="https://heidimcbain.com/">Heidi McBain </a>told Bustle . “If one partner wants to be a digital nomad and travel the world, while the other wants to live close by to their family, these are very <a href="https://www.bustle.com/p/if-youre-avoiding-these-conversations-with-your-partner-it-may-be-time-to-break-up-8964741">different life goals and visions for the future </a>.”

Although it may be a tough pill to swallow, once you know where they stand on an issue that you can't really compromise on — for example, whether or not you want children — it may be a good idea to face the music sooner rather than later. "Despite our best efforts, we can sometimes be <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/stronger-the-broken-places/201504/the-truth-about-dealbreakers-in-relationships">faced with true deal-breakers, </a>" psychotherapists and relationship counselors <a href="http://bloomwork.com/">Linda and Charlie Bloom </a>wrote for Psychology Today . "Where it is clear that fundamental differences are too great to bridge the gap between partners, it is wise to acknowledge this reality and to respectfully end the relationship in its present form, moving on separately or in a different form of relationship."

If you've reached the point where you think <a href="https://www.elitedaily.com/p/breaking-up-with-someone-who-still-loves-you-is-hard-but-heres-how-to-do-it-right-12039554">going your separate ways </a>is probably the best decision in the long run, then it might be time to start a conversation with your partner. If you suspect they are still in love with you and may be blindsided by your decision, proceed delicately.

Going Separate Ways

"The best thing you can do is sit down with them in person (no text breakups) and have a really kind, honest, and compassionate conversation with them," breakup coach and host of the breakup BOOST podcast, <a href="http://www.breakupboost.com/">Trina Leckie </a>, told Elite Daily. "Do your best to end things on good terms and then go no-contact after that so that both of you can have time and space away from the relationship, gain clarity, and start the healing process."

Doing The Deed

Although no contact can be a hard rule to stick to, licensed marriage and family therapist <a href="http://nicolemrichardson.com/">Nicole Richardson </a>emphasized its importance. However, the ideal length of no contact might not be the same for every couple, so this is something you should both try to agree on. "Agree on a period of no contact. If you really care about them and want to minimize their hurt, let them know that you <a href="https://www.elitedaily.com/p/can-you-really-be-friends-with-ex-6-people-reveal-their-opinions-9102238">hope you can be friends </a>someday. And in order to make that happen, you will need to make a clean break and not keep in constant contact because that will only drag the hurt out."

No Contact Period

No matter how much you believe breaking up is the right decision, talking about it with a partner can be difficult and painful for both of you. Even if it hurts, only you can decide what's best for your future. Although it might take a while to work up the nerve and decide exactly what you want to say, in the end, you owe it to yourself to follow your bliss and do what feels right for you — even if that means letting someone you love go.

The Long Run

Regardless of the reason why you decide to end a relationship, it can be a really intense ordeal — especially if you still have feelings for your partner. At this point, most of us have learned that it takes a lot more than just love for a healthy…

How To Break Up With Someone When You Want Different Things, But Still Love Them

5 key insights from,Rewired: Protecting Your Brain in the Digital Age. by Carl Macri

Rewired: Protecting Your Brain in the Digital Age

We form early attachments that influence our future relationships; we make friends who influence what we watch, wear, and say; we work in groups that form societies; we stay connected to people we love for most of our lives.Humans are wired for social interactions. Our brains are endowed with networks of neurons that compel us to form strong attachments and social bonds. It is critical to have empathy and form strong social bonds. Mental health is under siege in the Digital Age.

1. Our brains are uniquely wired for social interactions.

As a result of spending so much time with our smartphones and a growing number of apps that penetrate nearly every aspect of our lives, we use media and technology as a mood regulator. We no longer tolerate boredom because we don’t have to—stimulation and reward are an arm’s reach away. Over time, online social media and other applications began displacing offline face-to-face interactions. This disrupts attachments with parents, weakens bonds with friends, and diminishes the full capacity of our prefrontal cortex as we become more distracted, divided, and depressed.

2. Beware of your smartphone.

The human brain goes through an impressive transformation from birth to adulthood and we have a pretty good understanding of how and when these changes occur. Can we use developmental neurobiology to inform our understanding of the impact mobile media consumption has on children and adults alike? The answer is yes.The seduction of media multitasking, the risks of constant social media comparisons, and an internet laden with advertising superstimuli are all designed to keep you coming back for more. This contributes to rising rates in adults of anxiety, depression, narcissism, and loneliness.

3. To manage the impact of smartphones, we need to think developmentally.

There are a lot of wonderful things about mobile media, information, and communication technology. But we are all walking around with an incredible amount of computational power with full access to the internet and a world of temptation and titillation in our pockets. Sometimes habits slip into addiction. It’s hard to tell with technology when this line has been crossed since it is so easy to hide unhealthy smartphone habits and their use is pervasive.“When you change your habits, you change your brain—it’s that simple.”

4. Not all tech habits are addictions, but all tech addictions start as habits.

There are many causes for worry about the corrosive effects of mobile media, information, and communication technology in our lives and brains. But there are also reasons to believe that we will create a common expectation that these technologies can and should support us, not divide and depress us. Humans are capable of positive change and there are signs that we will survive the threats of our many smartphone habits. Our incredibly adaptive brains will see us through the technology revolution of the Digital Age—a revolution that will likely accelerate.

5. There is hope for a future with tech-life balance.

There is a difference between surviving and thriving. We need to be more proactive than reactive in order to create a digital literacy for our children and a tech-life balance for ourselves. We need healthy brains functioning at their peak if we will have any chance of dealing with the many problems society faces. The same brain science that informs our understanding of the negative consequences of too much media consumption and unhealthy smartphone habits can also inform clear recommendations about how to move forward.

Surviving and Thriving

“Brains are tricky and adaptable organs. For all the ‘neuroplasticity’ allowing our brains to reconfigure themselves to the biases of our computers, we are just as neuroplastic in our ability to eventually recover and adapt.”-Douglas Rushkoff

Neuroplasticity Quote #1

“Because of the power of neuroplasticity, you can, in fact, reframe your world and rewire your brain so that you are more objective. You have the power to see things as they are so that you can respond thoughtfully, deliberately, and effectively to everything you experience.”-Elizabeth Thornton

Neuroplasticity Quote #2

Rewired: Protecting Your Brain In The Digital Age

Harvard neuroscientist Carl Marci shares 5 key insights from his new book, Rewired: Protecting Your Brain in the Digital Age.

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

When we deal with others, we aren't thinking; we're just reacting.Often we know these interpersonal habits are bad, but they're wired deep from years of "practice".We learned these "lessons" about how to deal with people and stumbled on "solutions" that helped at that time, in that context - but they've been more harm than good over the long haul.If we try to resist that programming, it gets very uncomfortable. It's like trying to break any bad habit or addiction.

Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: What We Do

<ul><li>We get better by learning to deal with the difficult moments in life.</li><li>You can't quell all the pain in life, some of it is unavoidable.</li><li>The real problem isn't the schema-related discomfort; it's your attempts to avoid it.</li><li>Bad feelings are like bad weather - they're temporary and pass if you let them.</li></ul>

The Real Problem Is The Avoidance

This is when you respond as you normally respond but instead, this time you need to do something different.All you have to do right now is... Nothing. Don't do the bad thing. Just stop. Observe what's going on in your brain.Defuse<ul><li>Do not engage the thoughts; observe and label them to get some distance.</li><li>Reframe the thought: "If I don’t give in, they’ll hate me."</li><li>Respond: “Thank you, Mind.”</li></ul>

Notice The Moment Of Choice

Identify: Find your fatal flaw. Whether it’s hostility, withdrawal, compliance or whatever, identify that bad social habit that always causes you grief.The Moment of Choice: Next time you reflexively want to engage in that bad coping behaviour, all you have to do is nothing. There’s a moment of choice in there, shimmering. You can choose to do something else.You’re not the weather; you’re the sky.Defuse: When the thoughts and fears run rampant through your head just say, “Thank you, Mind.” Those thoughts are advisors, not dictators. Then choose to act on your values.

How to Free Yourself from Those Bad Interpersonal Habits

We all have reflexive bad habits in relationships. They're due to what psychologists call "schema." Here's how we can fix them...

This Is How To Have Emotionally Intelligent Relationships: 4 Secrets - Barking Up The Wrong Tree

Group therapy is an exposure-based large-group one-session treatment (LG-OST). It builds on the remarkable advances made in the development of highly effective cognitive-behavioural treatments (CBT) for various mental disorders. So-called ‘exposure strategies’ are at the heart of these approaches.

Getting Cured Of Phobias In One Day

Exposure therapy <a href="https://www.karger.com/Article/Abstract/381574">refers</a> to ‘repeated, systematic exposure to cues that are feared, avoided, or endured with dread’. Whether the therapy is delivered in vivo (ie, involving actual objects, events or situations), in sensu (ie, using the imagination – for example, to conjure traumatic memories or obsessional thoughts), or it’s interoceptive (ie, focused on the feared bodily sensations), it should provide the patients with new, anxiety-reducing and fear-relieving experiences that violate their fear-evoking expectancies.

Exposure Therapy

After an exposure treatment, between a half and two-thirds of patients are deemed to no longer suffer from an anxiety disorder or they show significant <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272735815001178">improvement</a>. This is a blessing when considering the life-limiting, long-lasting, progressing and – as increased suicide rates among anxiety patients <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11920-018-0885-z">show</a> – sometimes even life-threatening character of these disorders.

Benefits Of The Exposure Treatment

Despite the promising initial findings, it remains to be proven whether LG-OST is a feasible and effective treatment for anxiety disorders beyond phobias. Moreover, the ‘best’ therapist-to-patient ratio still needs to be calibrated. And most importantly, LG-OST effectiveness needs to be improved further, because not all participants benefited to the desired extent. The cost- and resource-saving aspect of LG-OST, however, is obvious.

A Lot Of Work To Do

A single-session, exposure-based treatment for large groups could help bring evidence-based psychotherapy to the masses

Strength in numbers: group therapy can beat phobias in a day | Psyche Ideas

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