Why self-understanding could be important for empathising well | Psyche Ideas

To empathise well, you need to understand that you and your experience are distinct from another person and their experience.

Some people are more capable of making this self-other distinction than others. Researchers suggest the ability to make this distinction might be related to helpful ways of empathising, such as listening and understanding how other people are feeling.

Personal distress could result from poor self-other distinction - for example, forgetting that the other person's experience, not your own, is the source of your emotional state. Feeling overwhelmed with sadness and anxiety on behalf of the other person isn't really about the other person's feelings but your own.

However, having a clear sense of self should make it easier to appreciate how you are different from other people and to mentally separate yourself from them. It helps you to share another person's emotional experience with an appropriate level of distance. 

One way to establish a clearer sense of self is by identifying your values, such as honesty, spontaneity or ambition. 

Being clearer about who you are could make it easier to sense where you end, and another person begins – and to respond to their feelings in a helpful way.