"Leaders eat last" refers to a common practice in the military, where the highest-ranking officers are often the last to eat, ensuring that their subordinates are fed first. This is a symbolic gesture that shows that the leaders are willing to put the needs of their team members ahead of their own.Simon Sinek belives that true leadership is about putting the needs of others before your own. This means creating a culture of safety and belonging where people feel valued and respected, even when things are tough.

What does it mean that leaders eat last?

The Circle of Safety refers to a feeling of security & belonging that is essential for human beings to thrive. When we feel safe, we are more likely to take risks, be creative, and innovate. This is because we are not worried about our own survival, so we can focus on helping the team succeed.The first step to being a good leader is understanding that an organization is essentially a Circle of Safety. The people's insecurities vanish inside thisCircle, but a bad leader will inevitably shrink or fracture it into multiple small ones.

The Circle of Safety

The basic leadership rules for creating a safe environment for the team to thrive:<ol><li>Start with why. Have a clear and compelling purpose to communicate to the team. </li><li>Build trust. Create a culture of trust & respect where people feel safe to be themselves and take risks. Honesty & Transparency are key here. </li><li>Embrace vulnerability. Show vulnerability and admit your mistakes. Be human!</li><li>Celebrate wins. Celebrate the successes of their team, no matter how small.</li><li>Never give up. Be resilient and never give up on their team, even when things are tough.</li></ol>

5 Rules for Leaders to create a Circle of Safety

Rules keep our society moving forward. It helps leader maintain a Circle of Safety and so on. However rules must to be trusted not obeyed. And most of us obey the rules ... out of fear. This is the reason we often hate bureaucrats. They always follow the rules and never show the human side our brain understands better.Trust is the better way fwd. Trust means people have to trust their leaders and get the freedom to break them when needed.

Rules are Not Infalable

We don’t just trust people to obey the rules, we also trust that they know when to break them.

How Long Does It Take to Trust Someone? We can never trust someone right away. Meeting a person for the first time naturally releases dopamine that masks how we actually feel about that person until the novelty fades; this is why we shouldn't get married after a week. Conversely, if after several years we still feel like we don't belong in a group, maybe it's time to let go.Getting to know if we can trust someone takes more than 7 days and less than 7 years. These are the magic timeframes of trust.

Between 7 days and 7 years

"Destructive Abundance" is the state where protecting the results is prioritised above protecting those who produce the results.Companies get in this state because the leaders only care about the score but forgot why they decided to play the game in the first place. Challenge is replaced by temptation and people are replaceable.

Destructive Abundance

Leaders have the vision and should delegate the authority to the ones with the information, that they can trust.Trust requires integrity - the capacity of someone to consistently adhere to some moral values.

Authority & Integrity

Those at the top have all the authority and none of the information.
Those at the bottom have all the information and none of the authority.

Finally in paperback: the New York Times bestseller by the acclaimed, bestselling author of Start With Why and Together is Better. Now with an expanded chapter and appendix on leading millennials, based on Simon Sinek's viral video "Millenials in the workplace" (150+ million views). Imagine a world where almost everyone wakes up inspired to go to work, feels trusted and valued during the day, then returns home feeling fulfilled. This is not a crazy, idealized notion. Today, in many successful organizations, great leaders create environments in which people naturally work together to do remarkable things. In his work with organizations around the world, Simon Sinek noticed that some teams trust each other so deeply that they would literally put their lives on the line for each other. Other teams, no matter what incentives are offered, are doomed to infighting, fragmentation and failure. Why? The answer became clear during a conversation with a Marine Corps general. "Officers eat last," he said. Sinek watched as the most junior Marines ate first while the most senior Marines took their place at the back of the line. What's symbolic in the chow hall is deadly serious on the battlefield: Great leaders sacrifice their own comfort--even their own survival--for the good of those in their care.      Too many workplaces are driven by cynicism, paranoia, and self-interest. But the best ones foster trust and cooperation because their leaders build what Sinek calls a "Circle of Safety" that separates the security inside the team from the challenges outside. Sinek illustrates his ideas with fascinating true stories that range from the military to big business, from government to investment banking.

communication

Communication

business

Business

books

Books

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Simon Oliver Sinek is a British-born American author and inspirational speaker. He is the author of five books, including Start With Why and The Infinite Game.

Simon Sinek

Leaders Eat Last

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.”

<ul><li>Vulnerability is neither good nor bad. Rather, being vulnerable simply means you have the capacity to experience emotions. </li><li>Though we often associate vulnerability with dark emotions, like fear, grief, or sadness, vulnerability is, in fact, also the root of our positive emotions: love, joy, empathy, and so on.</li><li>Allowing yourself to be vulnerable shows strength and courage – not weakness.</li></ul>

Being vulnerable is not a sign of weakness

Vulnerability means uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure. You might love someone, for example, and in doing so expose yourself emotionally; but you can never be certain that they'll reciprocate, thus you risk being rejected. Like any other feeling, love entails vulnerability.

What being vulnerable means

Embracing our vulnerability can help us to learn and develop, both professionally and socially.<ul><li>Social development: embracing vulnerability allows us to both experience our emotions authentically and be empathic, enabling us to connect with others. Just as you'd appreciate others being open and honest with you, your vulnerability and willingness to share your feelings and thoughts will be received positively.</li><li>Professional development: it's only by taking risks and daring to expose our work and ideas to external criticism that we can improve ourselves. If you practice only what you know you're <warningtag>good at, you of course avoid the risk of failure, but you also miss out on a potential new experience. </warningtag></li></ul>

Embracing the idea of being vulnerable

If you ignore your vulnerability, or you're simply unaware of it, you might end up increasing it. As one study demonstrated, people who believed themselves to be invulnerable to the persuasive power of advertising were, in fact, the most susceptible to it; participants claiming to be unaffected by commercials responded more to them than those who acknowledged their own suggestibility.

When we ignore our vulnerability

"As adults, we realize that to live with courage, purpose, and connection…we must again be vulnerable. We must take off the armor, put down the weapons, show up, and let ourselves be seen."

In order to remove our armor and put down our weapons, it’s necessary to identify how we are masking our shame and protecting our vulnerabilities. The three major shields that we use to protect ourselves:<ul><li>Foreboding Joy (Imagining dreadful outcomes that clamp down on momentary joy)</li><li>Perfectionism (Believing that doing everything perfectly protects us from shame)</li><li>Numbing (Embracing anything that deadens the pain of discomfort and shame)</li></ul>The powerful disarming strategies for freeing ourselves of these masks:<ul><li>Worthiness (I am enough)</li><li>Boundaries (I’ve had enough)</li><li>Engagement (I’m taking risks and let<warningtag>ting myself be seen).</warningtag></li></ul>

Unmasking vulnerability

Talking about our feelings of shame and naming them often diminishes their power. In fact, verbalizing our shame actually makes us resilient to it.This is because shame gains power through being unspeakable: the less we talk about it, the more control it has over our lives.The problem is that it's natural for us to keep our shame to ourselves. Shame doesn't even require the presence of other people: most of us are likely to be our own worst critics and maintain a stockpile of shame to draw from.

Shame

Leaders in education, work, and society as a whole should combat disengagement by encouraging.Such a culture of worthiness and openness towards vulnerability can combat shame-based problems, and if we learn to engage our own vulnerability we can transfer the same values and concepts to our workplaces, schools, and families. vulnerability over shame.

A culture of vulnerability

<ul><li>Shame is the fear of social disconnection; it’s only human, but harmful nonetheless.</li><li>Shame is part of our current culture and it promotes a fear of unworthiness – of never having or being enough.</li></ul>

How does shame work?

How to be vulnerable: Learn to bring more healthy vulnerability to your life.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

health

Health

Daring To Be Vulnerable

How to be vulnerable and embrace imperfection, to live wholeheartedly, and courageously.

The #1 New York Times bestseller. More than 2 million copies sold! Look for Brené Brown’s new podcast, Dare to Lead, as well as her ongoing podcast Unlocking Us! From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, MSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

The #1 New York Times bestseller. More than 2 million copies sold! Look for Brené Brown’s new podcast, Dare to Lead, as well as her ongoing podcast Unlocking Us! From thought leader Brené Brown, a transformative new vision for the way we lead, love, work, parent, and educate that teaches us the power of vulnerability.   “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; . . . who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”—Theodore Roosevelt Every day we experience the uncertainty, risks, and emotional exposure that define what it means to be vulnerable or to dare greatly. Based on twelve years of pioneering research, Brené Brown PhD, MSW, dispels the cultural myth that vulnerability is weakness and argues that it is, in truth, our most accurate measure of courage. Brown explains how vulnerability is both the core of difficult emotions like fear, grief, and disappointment, and the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, empathy, innovation, and creativity. She writes: “When we shut ourselves off from vulnerability, we distance ourselves from the experiences that bring purpose and meaning to our lives.” Daring Greatly is not about winning or losing. It’s about courage. In a world where “never enough” dominates and feeling afraid has become second nature, vulnerability is subversive. Uncomfortable. It’s even a little dangerous at times. And, without question, putting ourselves out there means there’s a far greater risk of getting criticized or feeling hurt. But when we step back and examine our lives, we will find that nothing is as uncomfortable, dangerous, and hurtful as standing on the outside of our lives looking in and wondering what it would be like if we had the courage to step into the arena—whether it’s a new relationship, an important meeting, the creative process, or a difficult family conversation. Daring Greatly is a practice and a powerful new vision for letting ourselves be seen.

Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation – Brené Brown Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. Brené is also a visiting professor in management at The University of Texas at Austin McCombs School of Business. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy and is the author of five #1 New York Times bestsellers: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly, Rising Strong, Braving the Wilderness, and her latest book, Dare to Lead.Brené hosts the Unlocking Us Podcast and the Dare to Lead Podcast. Her TED talk – The Power of Vulnerability – is one of the top five most viewed TED talks in the world with over 50 million views.

Brené Brown

Daring Greatly

Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live

Jeff Bezos worked for a New York hedge fund in 1994. That year, Bezos learnt that the internet's user base was expected to rise by over two thousand per cent per year in the future years. Soon after, he made a bold decision that would come to define Amazon's philosophy: he quit his hedge fund position and set out to build Amazon.Books, Bezos thought, were the ideal product for an e-commerce firm. Even the largest bookstores could only stock tens of thousands of volumes at a time. Bezos would be able to provide practically every book that was available if he opened an online bookstore.

Amazon: The Beginning

<ul><li>The success of Amazon is built on its leadership ideals.</li><li>Amazon has eliminated confirmation bias and hurry from its hiring process.</li><li>When it comes to delivering complex material, PowerPoint presentations fall short.</li><li>Amazon distinguishes itself by prioritizing the needs of its consumers over their own.</li><li>Amazon’s next-day delivery option is the result of obsessive consumer focus.</li><li>The company’s leadership ideas were ignored in Amazon’s initial video-on-demand program.</li></ul>

The Ideals Of Business At Amazon

Amazon's leadership values are the bedrock of its success.Amazon's Invent and Simplify concept was exhibited by Bezos' imaginative thinking. Amazon executives are constantly looking for fresh and imaginative ways to accomplish their goals.Bezos displayed another principle by quitting his job: a Bias for Action. Amazon executives believe that speed is critical to their company's success. Even if you act fast and make a mistake, you can generally recover. It's better to take a calculated risk like Bezos did when he quit the hedge fund, rather than spending a lot of time evaluating your choices.

The Success of Amazon Is Built on Its Leadership Ideals

Amazon's executives realize that tiny dreams only lead to small accomplishments. The Amazon team sees a bright, daring future, and it is this vision that has led to such remarkable success.The company's earliest offices were in a small basement in Seattle when Bezos launched his online bookstore. They used old doors attached to four-by-fours as workstations instead of proper desks. This represented the Frugality ethic, which still exists at Amazon. There are no incentives for increasing headcounts or expenditures, so leaders are praised for getting more done with less.

Thinking Big and Executing With Frugality

Despite Amazon's assurances that their books would be delivered via first-class mail, each book was delivered by priority mail. The corporation paid a higher price for this, but buyers were happy when their books arrived considerably sooner than expected. Every decision Amazon takes today is still driven by an obsession with customer experience.

Spending More To Delight The Customer

Consider yourself a senior executive tasked with purchasing a multimillion-dollar plant to produce your company's goods. Because the decision you make will have a long-term impact on the company's bottom line, you would go through a thorough procedure to ensure that you select the proper manufacturer.Many firms, on the other hand, have little rigour in their recruitment processes when it comes to hiring the proper personnel. This is a major issue. After all, your recruiting decisions have a long-term impact on your company. That's why Amazon's hiring judgments are so accurate.

Hiring Is A Mission-Critical Decision

Urgency bias occurs when a team feels compelled to fill a vacant position, maybe because they are responsible for the work of the absent worker. Because they're so eager to find someone, they overemphasize a candidate's qualities and ignore his weaknesses. In many circumstances, this means they hire someone who isn't the best fit for the job.

Urgency Bias

Amazon has a unique weapon in their recruitment process that avoids urgency bias: the bar raiser. A bar raiser is a highly experienced interviewer who is not a member of the hiring team and has no vested interest in ensuring that someone is hired swiftly. The bar raiser is in charge of conducting final interviews with candidates and, more importantly, has the authority to veto individuals who aren't a suitable fit.This guarantees that teams apply a high level of discipline to their hiring procedures. They know, after all, that the bar raiser will only allow the greatest to join them.

Countering Hurried Hiring: The Bar Raiser

When multiple interviewers conduct interviews with the same candidate, this can happen. After the first interviewer has finished, she may speak with the other interviewers informally about whether they liked or disliked the candidate. This may appear innocuous, but it establishes expectations in the minds of the other interviewers about how good the candidate is.Instead of fairly evaluating the candidate, they will hunt for evidence that confirms their ideas when conducting their own interviews.

Confirmation Bias During Hiring

Amazon avoids confirmation bias by requiring all interviewers to write full reports on candidates immediately following their interviews and before speaking with coworkers. The interviewers consult these reports when they meet to discuss the candidate. This system ensures that each person's opinion is their own.

Avoiding Confirmation Bias: The Amazon Way

In 2004, Amazon's senior managers took turns stepping up and giving a weekly presentation on a significant topic. However, these presentations were frequently ineffective. The CEO then took a decision.Now, no PowerPoint presentations are ever used. Also, every meeting begins with silence for the first twenty minutes. The secret to Amazon's effective decision-making is silence.

No PPTs And Ample Reading Time In Meetings

Amazonians ditched PowerPoint in favour of a six-page document in 2004. Meeting attendees now read this message for twenty minutes during each meeting. The six-pager follows a narrative format to explain the subject. This enables the topic to be discussed in greater depth and complexity, rather than just bullet points.A six-page memo, in fact, contains roughly nine times the amount of information as the slideshows it replaces. This also allows for considerably greater exploration of links between various ideas.

The Six Page Memo

The six-page document also attempts to equalize the playing field among employees. Meeting attendees would invariably rate new suggestions based in part on the presenter's speaking and graphic-design skills when PowerPoint was used to explain them. Regardless of how strong their ideas were, skilled speakers with compelling graphics tended to garner more positive answers.The six-page letter, on the other hand, kept attendees' attention on the ideas rather than the presenter, removing bias from the feedback process.

Removing Bias Of The Presentation Style

Rather than prioritizing the consumer experience, product teams look for inspiration closer to home. They may begin by appraising the skills of their research and development teams, or by being limited to the company's cost and profit margin choices.After they've created a new product that fulfils the company's needs, they hand it over to their sales and marketing department, which considers how to persuade customers to buy it. This forward-thinking mentality frequently results in organizations holding things that they desire but their customers don't.

How Normal Companies Usually Work

What does it mean to work backwards? It means prioritizing the client at Amazon. When Amazonians come up with new product ideas, they don't start with Amazon's needs and capabilities in mind. Instead, they exclusively evaluate what will improve the lives of their clients.They work backwards to make the customer-centric product a reality once they've found an answer.

Working Backwards

If a product team has a new product idea, they should start by drafting a one-page document. This paper is formatted like a press release. It imagines that the product has already been created and extols the benefits that the product will bring to Amazon's customers. The product team also creates a frequently asked questions document, or FAQ, in addition to the press release. The FAQ is a five-page document that answers queries from customers and internal personnel.

The Press Release And FAQ Method

Many consumers still didn't find online purchasing convenient in the mid-2000s. Most things still took several days to arrive, which meant that consumers who wanted something quickly, such as a last-minute gift, preferred to shop at a physical store. Shipping charges, which were quite high in the early days of e-commerce, also turned off many customers. Customers were more likely to buy from Amazon when the company offered free shipping rather than discounts on the products themselves.By working backwards, Amazon is able to work with the foundation of its first principle: Customer Obsession.

Customers Love Free Shipping

In 2005, Bezos created Amazon Prime, a subscription-based membership club which offered free two-day shipping and a reduced alternative for next-day delivery. Amazon registers $25.21 billion in annual revenue from retail subscription fees from its over 200 million members, making it a massively successful idea.

Amazon Prime: The Result Of Customer Obsession

Essential reads for entrepreneurial growth, curated by Lenny Rachitsky.

strategy

Strategy

productivity

Productivity

startup

Startups

timemanagement

Time Management

entrepreneurship

Entrepreneurship

Lenny’s Top Business Books

 A few great ideas and innovations from Amazon.

Working Backwards is an insider's breakdown of Amazon's approach to culture, leadership, and best practices from two long-time Amazon executives. Colin started at Amazon in 1998; Bill joined in 1999. In Working Backwards, these two long-serving Amazon executives reveal and codify the principles and practices that drive the success of one of the most extraordinary companies the world has ever known. With twenty-seven years of Amazon experience between them, much of it in the early aughts—a period of unmatched innovation that brought products and services including Kindle, Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios, and Amazon Web Services to life—Bryar and Carr offer unprecedented access to the Amazon way as it was refined, articulated, and proven to be repeatable, scalable, and adaptable. With keen analysis and practical steps for applying it at your own company—no matter the size—the authors illuminate how Amazon’s fourteen leadership principles inform decision-making at all levels and reveal how the company’s culture has been defined by four characteristics: customer obsession, long-term thinking, eagerness to invent, and operational excellence. Bryar and Carr explain the set of ground-level practices that ensure these are translated into action and flow through all aspects of the business. Working Backwards is a practical guidebook and a corporate narrative, filled with the authors’ in-the-room recollections of what “Being Amazonian” is like and how it has affected their personal and professional lives. They demonstrate that success on Amazon’s scale is not achieved by the genius of any single leader, but rather through commitment to and execution of a set of well-defined, rigorously-executed principles and practices—shared here for the very first time.

corporateculture

Corporate Culture

Working Backwards is an insider's breakdown of Amazon's approach to culture, leadership, and best practices from two long-time Amazon executives—with lessons and techniques you can apply to your own company, and career, right now. In Working Backwards, two long-serving Amazon executives reveal the principles and practices that have driven the success of one of the most extraordinary companies the world has ever known. With twenty-seven years of Amazon experience between them—much of it during the period of unmatched innovation that created products and services including Kindle, Amazon Prime, Amazon Studios, and Amazon Web Services—Bryar and Carr offer unprecedented access to the Amazon way as it was developed and proven to be repeatable, scalable, and adaptable. With keen analysis and practical steps for applying it at your own company—no matter the size—the authors illuminate how Amazon’s fourteen leadership principles inform decision-making at all levels of the company. With a focus on customer obsession, long-term thinking, eagerness to invent, and operational excellence, Amazon’s ground-level practices ensure these characteristics are translated into action and flow through all aspects of the business. Working Backwards is both a practical guidebook and the story of how the company grew to become so successful. It is filled with the authors’ in-the-room recollections of what “Being Amazonian” is like and how their time at the company affected their personal and professional lives. They demonstrate that success on Amazon’s scale is not achieved by the genius of any single leader, but rather through commitment to and execution of a set of well-defined, rigorously-executed principles and practices—shared here for the very first time. Whatever your talent, career or organization might be, find out how you can put Working Backwards to work for you.

Colin Bryar joined Amazon in 1998 - four years after its founding - and spent the next twelve years as part of Amazon's senior leadership team as Amazon grew from a domestic (US-only) seller of books to a global, multi-dimensional powerhouse and innovator. For two of his years at Amazon, Colin was Chief of Staff to Jeff Bezos, AKA 'Jeff's shadow', during which he spent each day attending meetings, travelling with, and discussing business and life with Jeff. After Amazon, he and his family relocated to Singapore for two years where Colin served as Chief Operating Officer of e-commerce company RedMart, which was subsequently sold to Alibaba. Colin is co-founder of Working Backwards LLC where he coaches executives at both large and early stage companies on how to implement the management practices developed at Amazon.

Colin Bryar

Bill Carr is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Bill Carr has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Bill Carr's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Bill Carr

Our time is our life and our attention is the doorway to our hearts.

<ul><li>You have to set aside time each day for the kind of silence and solitude that brings peace. </li><li>Taking a day off each week for rest isn’t such a bad idea, it can greatly improve your productivity and happiness.</li><li>To become more mindful, take pleasure in slowing down your life by allowing moments of inefficiency.</li></ul>

Slow Down! The Three Takeaways

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with notifications on our devices, it can be hard to find silence and solitude.Even if we are alone with our phone, it doesn’t mean we’re alone in our thoughts. Social media leaves us connected to a bombardment of thoughts and opinions. Before smartphones, people would wait without a source of constant distraction. They would sit on the bus and watch out the window. Nowadays, we leave little time for solitude and reflection.

Silence And Solitude In The Age Of Constant Diversions And Distractions

Just make a point to get up earlier than your household. Take time to enjoy things like a good book and a cup of coffee. You could even take this extra time to take a leisurely walk before work. Put down your phone and unplug your headphones. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions that might come your way.The more you do this, the more you’ll start to realize solitude does not equate to loneliness. Rather, it lets you connect with the world around you.

Steal The Time

Not long ago, Americans used to wake up to a quieter Sunday where all businesses were closed and there wasn’t much else to do but be with family or go to church. The shift in society to the more secular and commercial has made it hard to have a day for rest anymore. Shops are now open, and people often have to worry about work on this day.Every Sunday, spend time doing things you don’t normally have time to do, like taking a nap or going on a long walk. Enjoy the company of your family or close friends. Resting will allow you to appreciate the week previous and recharge for the one to come.

It's Good To Take A Day Off Every Week

Have you ever stood in the line of a grocery store frustrated at the person in line in front of you who is looking for coupons? Don’t they know we’re in a hurry?The truth is, we don’t have to be so efficient all the time. Instead of racing by cars on your commute home, try going the speed limit, or take a minute to let other people merge in front of you. It probably doesn’t need to be a stressful race. Instead, it could be a relaxing time of solitude that allows you to reflect on your day and listen to your thoughts.

Allow Some Inefficiency

Another great way to slow down your life is by simplifying your phone. One trick is transitioning to a “dumb” phone. And honestly, is there really a reason we need social media and emails constantly notifying us?But if you’re not into that more idea, you could delete social media and email apps so you can just use your phone for calls and messages. This will allow you to focus on one thing at a time rather than distractedly multitasking.

Simplify Your Phone

Hurry is a form of violence on the soul. Here are a few symptoms of hurry sickness. 1. Irritability — You get mad, frustrated, or just annoyed way too easily. 2. Hypersensitivity — All it takes is a minor comment, a grumpy email, or a little turn of events to set you off. You can’t seem to roll with punches 3. Restlessness — When you actually do try to slow down and rest, you can’t relax. 4. Workaholism (or just nonstop activity) — You just don’t know when to stop. Or worse, you can’t stop. 5. Emotional numbness — You don’t have the capacity to feel another’s pain.

The Hurry Sickness

The solution to an overly busy life is not more time. It’s to slow down and simplify our lives around what really matters. We can’t do it all. We simply can’t see, read, watch, taste, drink, experience, be, or do it all. Not an option. We have limitations. Lots of them. Our bodies. Our minds. Our giftings. Our personalities and emotional wiring. Our families of origin. Our socioeconomic origins. Our educations and careers. Our seasons of life and their responsibilities. Our eighty or so years of life. God’s call on our lives. Nobody has more than twenty-four hours in a day

Asking For More Time Is Flawed

<ul><li>Drive the speed limit. </li><li>Get into the slow lane. </li><li>Come to a full stop at stop signs. </li><li>Don’t text and drive. </li><li>Get in the longest checkout line at the grocery store. Turn your smartphone into a dumbphone. </li><li>Get a flip phone or ditch your cell phone altogether. </li><li>Parent your phone; put it to bed before you and make it sleep in. </li><li>Keep your phone off until after your morning quiet time. </li><li>Set times for email, TV watching or social media.</li><li> Single-task.</li><li>Walk slower. </li><li>Take a regular day alone for silence and solitude. </li><li>Take up journaling. </li><li>Experiment with mindfulness and meditation. </li></ul>

The Rules

Who are you becoming? That was the question nagging Pastor Comer. Within the pages of this book, readers will find a compelling emotional and spiritual case against hurry and in favor of a slower, simpler way of life.

religionandspirituality

Religion & Spirituality

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

ECPA BESTSELLER • A compelling emotional and spiritual case against hurry and in favor of a slower, simpler way of life   “As someone all too familiar with ‘hurry sickness,’ I desperately needed this book.”—Scott Harrison, New York Times best-selling author of Thirst   “Who am I becoming?”   That was the question nagging pastor and author John Mark Comer. Outwardly, he appeared successful. But inwardly, things weren’t pretty. So he turned to a trusted mentor for guidance and heard these words:   “Ruthlessly eliminate hurry from your life. Hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life.”   It wasn’t the response he expected, but it was—and continues to be—the answer he needs. Too often we treat the symptoms of toxicity in our modern world instead of trying to pinpoint the cause. A growing number of voices are pointing at hurry, or busyness, as a root of much evil.   Within the pages of this book, you’ll find a fascinating roadmap to staying emotionally healthy and spiritually alive in the chaos of the modern world.

John Mark Comer

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

<ul><li>We all have an “ideal,” a moving target that is always out of reach.</li><li>When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we’re in the GAP.</li><li>When we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we’re in the GAIN.</li><li>Being in the GAIN has enormous psychological effects, including bolstering motivation, confidence, and future success.</li><li>Always measure backward.</li></ul>You’re in the GAP every time you measure yourself or your situation against an ideal. And while ideals are meant to provide direction, motivation, and meaning to our lives, they are not the measuring stick.

Key Ideas From The Book

The GAP is based on an unhealthy “need” or attachment to something outside of yourself. You’re trying to free yourself FROM something, and until you do you won’t be happy. When you’re in the GAP, you’re avoiding “here” while trying to get “there”—but never actually arriving “there.” By contrast, the GAIN is based on being in harmony with what you want and knowing that you don’t need it. When you’re in the GAIN, you live your life based on intrinsic motivation and harmonious passion, which creates flow and high performance

Embrace the Freedom of “Wants”

<ul><li>Are there any areas in your life where you have obsessive passion? If so, what unresolved internal need are you trying to fill? </li><li>What about your life and work do you love? </li><li>What is your long game? When you’re playing the long game, you’re doing what you love. You’re not doing something just to get somewhere else. </li><li>Do you have a long enough timetable to truly slow down and enjoy being here, or are you trying to quickly get “there”? </li></ul>

Ask Yourself: What You Love

<ul><li>External reference points make it impossible to feel successful because no matter what you’ve done, the success criteria are always moving.</li><li>Getting out of the GAP and into the GAIN means you’ve made yourself your own reference point. The GAP means your life is determined by someone or something external. The GAIN means you’re living a self-determined life. </li><li>When your reference point is internal, you make the final call on what “success” means to you, regardless of what other people think. </li><li>When your reference point is internal, happiness and success are always right here and right now.  </li></ul>

Self Determination

<ul><li>What are the reference points you measure yourself against? </li><li>Why did you choose those particular reference points? </li><li>How do you define and measure success for yourself?</li><li>Are the reference points you measure yourself against external or internal? </li><li>How often do you compare yourself to others? </li><li>How much time do you spend on social media? </li><li>Are you self-determined and free?  </li></ul>

Journaling Questions

Being in the GAP creates a negative compound effect in your life. But being in the GAIN creates a positive compound effect in your life. The GAP and the GAIN are valuable tools because there is a language for them. Explain the GAP and the GAIN concept to those you love, and give them permission to call you out when you go into the GAP.Psychologists have found that practising mental subtraction—thinking of the absence of the good things in your life—can make you appreciate them more. to remind yourself of the GAINS in your life.

The Compound Effect of The Gap or Gain

<ul><li>Call yourself out when you catch yourself in the GAP. Immediately look for and vocalize the GAIN. </li><li>Tell five people you know and love about The GAP and The GAIN. If you so choose, get them a copy of this book so they can live more in the GAIN themselves. </li><li>Give those five people permission to call you out when you’re in the GAP. </li><li>Help others see and appreciate their own GAINS more by (1) asking them about their recent progress, and (2) pointing out to them their progress. It can be very humbling and empowering to have someone recognize or point out your progress.  </li></ul>

Start Using the Gap and Gain Language

<ul><li>When was a time you went into the GAP because you went from wanting something to believing you needed it? </li><li>When was a time you went into the GAP by comparing yourself to someone else? </li><li>When was a time you used gratitude to reframe a situation into a GAIN and move forward?</li></ul>

Questions To Ask Yourself

It’s easy to forget about your GAINS because your memories are always reconstructed in the present, based on your current perspective. It is a good idea to do journaling or an annual review to tap back into the context of your former self, and see the massive GAINS. Being reminded of the easily forgotten past boosts your hope, motivation, confidence, and resilience. You’re not the exact same person you were in the past. You’ve evolved and grown a lot, even in the past 90 days.

Always Measure Backward

<ul><li>Where am I right now? </li><li>What are my wins from the past 90 days? </li><li>What are my desired wins for the next 90 days? </li><li>Where will I be in 12 months? </li><li>Where will I be in 3 years?</li></ul>

Your Evolution: Questions You Can Ask Yourself

What you do during the 60 minutes before bed has an enormous impact on your sleep quality, as well as the direction and quality of your next day. Reactivity begets reactivity. If you’re staring at your phone before bed, mindlessly scrolling or consuming, not only will you sleep worse, but you’ll continue that same unhealthy addictive behaviour the next day. Write in your journal three wins from that day. Then, write down the three biggest wins you’ll get the next day. No more than three.

Measure Three Daily Wins

<ul><li>Being in the GAIN is not simply about seeing life on the bright side. Being in the GAIN is about taking every experience life throws at you and transforming it to serve you. </li><li>When you’re in the GAP, you ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” and act like a victim. When you’re in the GAIN, you control the meaning of your past. You cherish your past and use it as precious feedback for clarifying what you truly want and value. </li><li>Being in the GAIN is an approach-motivated way of life, and it enables you to turn every valley into a future peak.  </li></ul>

Transform Every Experience Into a Gain

<ul><li>Think about any specific experience—positive or negative. Ask yourself: What about this experience worked? </li><li>What “usefulness” can you get from this experience to improve your future? </li><li>What can you learn from this experience about what you don’t want? </li><li>Knowing what you know now, because you’ve had this experience, how will you approach your future differently? </li><li>What about this experience are you grateful for?</li></ul>

Your Life Experiences: Ask Yourself

Good habits, good life, Ample happiness, awareness.

As he did in WHO NOT HOW, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan’s simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on “The Gap,” but successful people focus on “The Gain.” "[T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN."- Dr. Benjamin Hardy Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN." That is where the GAP and the GAIN concept comes in. It was developed by legendary entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan and is based on his work with tens of thousands of successful entrepreneurs. When Dan's coaching clients periodically take stock of all that they've accomplished-both personally and professionally-they are often shocked at how much they have actually achieved. They weren't able to appreciate their progress because no matter how much they were getting done, they were usually measuring themselves against their ideals or goals. In this book you will learn that measuring your current self vs. your former self has enormous psychological benefits. And that's really the key to this deceptively simple yet multi-layered concept that will have you feeling good, feeling grateful, and feeling like you are making progress even when times are tough, which will in turn bolster motivation, confidence, and future success. If you're finding that happiness eludes you no matter how much you've achieved, then learning this easy mindset shift will set you on a life-changing path to greater fulfillment and success.

As he did in WHO NOT HOW, Dr. Benjamin Hardy shares one of Dan Sullivan’s simple yet profound teachings that until now has been known only to his Strategic Coach clients: unsuccessful people focus on “The Gap,” but successful people focus on “The Gain.” "[T]his one simple concept is a masterclass on positive psychology, healthy relationships, mental well-being, and high-performance. Everything that psychologists know about how to create a high-functioning and successful person can be achieved using The GAP and the GAIN."- Dr. Benjamin Hardy Most people, especially highly ambitious people, are unhappy because of how they measure their progress. We all have an "ideal," a moving target that is always out of reach. When we measure ourselves against that ideal, we're in "the GAP." However, when we measure ourselves against our previous selves, we're in "the GAIN." That is where the GAP and the GAIN concept comes in. It was developed by legendary entrepreneur coach Dan Sullivan and is based on his work with tens of thousands of successful entrepreneurs. When Dan's coaching clients periodically take stock of all that they've accomplished-both personally and professionally-they are often shocked at how much they have actually achieved. They weren't able to appreciate their progress because no matter how much they were getting done, they were usually measuring themselves against their ideals or goals. In this book you will learn that measuring your current self vs. your former self has enormous psychological benefits. And that's really the key to this deceptively simple yet multi-layered concept that will have you feeling good, feeling grateful, and feeling like you are making progress even when times are tough, which will in turn bolster motivation, confidence, and future success. If you're finding that happiness eludes you no matter how much you've achieved, then learning this easy mindset shift will set you on a life-changing path to greater fulfillment and success.

Dan Sullivan is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Dan Sullivan has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Dan Sullivan's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Dan Sullivan

Dr. Benjamin Hardy is an accomplished writer whose work has resonated with readers around the world. Dr. Benjamin Hardy has published several books that explore a range of topics, from fiction to nonfiction, and has received critical acclaim for the ability to weave compelling narratives. Dr. Benjamin Hardy's writing style is known for its depth and authenticity, and has earned quite a loyal following of readers.

Dr. Benjamin Hardy

The Gap and The Gain

Jill Bolte Taylor's story is fascinating. At age 37 in 1996, she suffered a left hemisphere stroke which caused her right hemisphere to become temporarily dominant. It took her 8 years to recover.She could no longer experience the linearity of time or a sense of urgency; speak or understand language; identify the physical boundaries of where the body began and where it ended; perceive individuality/personality; understand the concepts of self-loathing, feeling guilty, or feeling lonely; experience past regrets, present fears, or future expectations.

The Stroke That Turned Off The Left Brain

The author had a unique experience after the stroke:Peaceful euphoria and bliss of the eternal timelessness of the present moment; oneness with the universe; a gigantic ball of energy that blended fluidly with the rest of the energy in the universe; could only perceive the pixelated atoms that make up space and exist at the level of the cosmic flow; perceived us all collectively and energetically as a part of the same being; we were all woven together into a fabric of tiny molecules that were in motion; spirit soared free and boundless; both free-flowing and as big as the universe.

The 'Nirvana' Experience Of Living With Only The Right Brain

Before the stroke, I was willing to compromise my relationships by moving away from both my home and those I loved for the status and monetary gain of a career as a neuroanatomist at Harvard. Although I was truly grateful to recover the vast and important abilities of my left brain, post-stroke I was no longer willing to choose the treadmill of work, work, work. Pre-stroke, my left brain had defined success through the achievement of external rewards. Post-stroke, my right-brain characters found meaning through the internal standards of loving, being loved, and being in service to others.

Before And After The Stroke

It is a relief for me to experience my emotions again, as they not only add depth to life, but they stretch my boundaries for personal growth.I regained the emotional circuits of resentment, guilt, and embarrassment, as well as all of the other more subtle feelings and emotions that make life alluring. Our emotions, even the negative ones, truly enrich our perception of experience and make life nuanced and more remarkable

Getting Back The Emotions

By having both of these hemispheres working together inside of one head, we experience a natural duality. It is normal for us to endure an ongoing internal conflict, based completely on the two uniquely autonomous perspectives of our left and right brains.Our right and left brains would forever evolve on separate yet parallel tracks of consciousness and exist in duality. Our right brain would evolve to be the home of our feminine, yin, and grace of the cosmic right here, right now, while our left brain would develop masculine, yang, and ego-centred traits based on our individuality.

Duality

When my left thinking network went off-line, a specific part of my personality, a character that I had known for decades as my ego-self, also disappeared. It was not as though I was missing a memory that I simply could not put my finger on; it was more like that memory (and I myself) had never existed at all. It’s a bit disconcerting to think that who we are is completely manufactured by a small group of cells in our left brain, and that we can lose ourselves at any moment, but that is exactly how fragile our ego identities are.

With that internal dialogue circuitry shut off, I sat in the center of a completely silent brain for five full weeks. I even lost that little voice of my left-brain ego-self that could say, ‘I am an individual, separate from the whole. I am Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor.’In the absence of my own left-brain character, which had anchored me in the external world at an emotional level, my ego-self disappeared and with it all of the personal content of my identity. Consequently, I no longer existed as an individual who was separate from the flow of the universe, and I knew nothing about my life.

The Monkey Mind Goes Silent

Because we have become the center of our own universe, our left-brain ego-cells come online and begin organizing everything in the external world around our individuality. With this shift of focus toward our relationship with the external world as separate from ourselves, the consciousness of the eternal flow remains, but shifts into the background.

Our Ego Makes Us The Center Of Our Own World

Before the hero’s left-brain ego-cells developed his perception of himself as an individual, he possessed the collective knowledge of his right brain’s unconscious mind. With time, as the individuation of his left brain developed, it grew to dominate and inhibit the knowledge of his right-brain mind.In the language of the brain, the hero must step out of his own ego-based left-brain consciousness into the realm of his right brain’s unconsciousness. At this point, the hero feels connected to all that is and is enveloped by a sense of deep inner peace.

The Hero’s Journey

There is an electromagnetic field of atoms and molecules that surrounds us, and we exist within it and it exists within us. Our left brain is unaware of this sea of energy because a small group of cells in our parietal region defines the boundaries of our body, surmising the separation. How different would our world be if we understood that we have the power to influence this field of energy through our thoughts and emotions? Perhaps gaining this insight into whole-brain living is humanity’s collective Hero’s Journey and how we will evolve as a species to live our lives with purpose.

A Collective Voyage

The Hero leaves behind the rational, ego-based consciousness that processes the reality of the external world (left brain); shed the rational, ego-based individuality; must be willing to let go of possessions and worldly knowledge; lays down the justice-demanding judgment of the dominating left brain.

The Hero's Journey Call

The New York Times best-selling author of My Stroke of Insight blends neuroanatomy with psychology to show how we can short-circuit emotional reactivity and find our way to peace. For half a century we have been trained to believe that our right brain hemisphere is our emotional brain, while our left brain houses our rational thinking. Now neuroscience shows that it's not that simple: in fact, our emotional limbic tissue is evenly divided between our two hemispheres. Consequently, each hemisphere has both an emotional brain and a thinking brain. In this groundbreaking new book, Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor presents these four distinct modules of cells as four characters that make up who we are: Character 1, Left Thinking; Character 2, Left Emotion; Character 3, Right Emotion; and Character 4, Right Thinking. Everything we think, feel, or do is dependent upon brain cells to perform that function. Since each of the Four Characters stems from specific groups of cells that feel unique inside of our body, they each display particular skills, feel specific emotions, or think distinctive thoughts. In Whole Brain Living, Dr. Taylor shows us how to get acquainted with our own Four Characters, observe how they show up in our daily life, and learn to identify and relate to them in others as well. And she introduces a practice called the Brain Huddle--a tool for bringing our Four Characters into conversation with one another so we can tap their respective strengths and choose which one to embody in any situation. The more we become familiar with each of the characters in ourselves and others, the more power we gain over our thoughts, our feelings, our relationships, and our lives. Indeed, we discover that we have the power to choose who and how we want to be in every moment. And when our Four Characters work together and balance one another as a whole brain, we gain a radical new road map to deep inner peace.

Leaders Eat Last

Daring Greatly

Working Backwards

The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry

The Gap and The Gain

Matthew Clark