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How To Be An Active Listener
- Ignore internal and external distractions (thoughts and sounds).
- Listen to the content of their speech and their specific wording.
- Listen to the context of their speech. Keep in mind the circumstances and themes and how they relate what’s being said.
- Listen to the tone of their voice. It conveys the speaker’s feelings.
- Listen for the emotions the speaker is likely experiencing so they will feel understood.
- Pay attention to their body language and make appropriate eye contact.
- Provide small verbal encouragements and don't fight silences.
- Ask open-ended questions to encourage elaboration and further your understanding of the big picture.
- If you need them to slow down or want specific info, ask close-ended questions.
- Offer affirmations that the person has made valuable and important choices.
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Selective Listening
Means to focus on a few key words and ignore the rest of someone's communication.
It often manifests as one gets distracted by external stimuli like random sounds or movements, and internal stimuli such as one's own thoughts and feelings.
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Active Listening
Means to fully concentrate on what is being said rather than passively absorbing it.
It's not just remembering the content of what was said, but using empathy and seeking to understand the complete message, including the emotional tones conveyed. It builds rapport, understanding and trust.
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