Ideas from books, articles & podcasts.
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by David Bradford, Ph.D., Carole Robin, Ph.D.
Exceptional relationships can be developed. They have six hallmarks:
It has several characteristics.
Most of us have countless interactions each day with people who don’t really know us well. At times, you may yearn for deeper and more meaningful connections, but you don’t always know how to get there.
Letting yourself be more fully known is crucial to developing exceptional rel...
Consider three concentric rings that represent decreasing safety as you move out from the center.
In the absence of data, people will make stuff up. Everybody draws conclusions when interacting with others. The less we reveal, the more others will fill in the blanks in order to make sense of what they see.
When we are too reserved with our feelings,
Empathy is the act of conveying not only that you understand the other’s feelings but also that you can identify with them. It is different from sympathy, even though they’re often used interchangeably.
Sympathy involves acknowledging someone is in pain and providi...
This has several dimensions.
It is a lot more complicated than it seems.
Asking the right kind can help encourage someone to share.
Advice-giving makes it easy to misunderstand what the other really wants. People go to others for many reasons. Perhaps they want a chance to think out loud. Perhaps they simply want to vent and seek a sympathetic ear. Sometimes they just want support and empathy, rather than hel...
For a relationship to be sustainable, each person has to have enough of their needs met, and each must give things up.
Over time, the benefits have to exceed the costs. As relationships develop and each person allows themselves to be more fully known, the two of them can l...
Influence discrepancies exist in most relationships, though minor ones are rarely a barrier to talking honestly and coming to an effective solution.
However, a significant difference in influence often results in a dysfunctional cycle.
The information may say something about the giver, and it may say something about the receiver. But it is all data, and more data is better than less. Quite simply, you’re better off knowing than not.
Accepting the validity of someone’s feedback also doesn’t mean ...
People use the “feedback sandwich,” thinking it will make difficult feedback easier to hear: starting with something positive (to soften up the other person), then saying something negative, and ending with something positive so they will feel good.
Unfortunately, this approach ra...
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