How to mend a broken heart.

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What They Don’t Tell You About Grieving A Person Who Is Alive

We are all inevitably doomed to experience grief. Whether it’s a death, lost love, loss of a job, or any type of change in our diurnal lives. Grief, as described by a quick Google search is; a mental or emotional suffering or distress caused by loss or regret. That being said, there is no right or wrong way to grieve any sort of loss. Healing that comes after the storm is in all ways linear, with absolutely no time limit. We often hear about grief when a person passes, and we are left to carry the weight of their absence in our hands. But how do we grieve those who are still alive?

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5 Stages Of Grief

The 5 stages of grief were first introduced in the late 60s by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross by publishing "On Death and Dying". Kübler summarized that there are typically 5 stages of grief that come after a death or in terminally ill patients. The 5 stages of grief as Kübler examined were: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. This of course is not written in stone, we all go through our own stages of grief, staggered and at times not in order but it is a process that we all must endure. You too my friend, soon after the heartbreak will start on your journey to the 5 stages of grie

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Take Refuge In Your Bed

You will often hear, that getting up from bed and continuing on with your day will be the best thing you could do. This as a fact is true, aside from the many health benefits it offers, it creates a rise in serotonin which in moderate amounts, lifts up your mood. Before you can get up and walk towards the end of the rainbow and dance until there’s no tomorrow, you must accept and become one with your feelings. Cry if you have to, be angry, let your sadness consume you for as many days as it takes. You must feel a certain feeling in order to get past it.

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Cut Off Contact Indefinitely

In your healing journey, you will have to make sacrifices, often ones that hurt and are uncomfortable. The first step is becoming used to the feeling of change, adapting your thoughts to warp up and flex in all sorts of directions, even if your mind perceives it as a threat. Block them on Instagram, Facebook, block their number, realize that you cannot heal in the same environment that got you sick in. Sometimes a connection has to be severed in order for growth to happen.

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Slowly Prioritize What You Were Putting Last

When a relationship takes so much space in our lives, after it ends we often realize just how much we put ourselves last. This loss you have suffered will aid you in opening new doors, and healing properly will be your right hand man, that means allowing for your mind to love your body in all aspects.

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Don’t Push Away Your Anger

There will be left over anger, sadness, and every ugly feeling that humans spend their entire lives avoiding. It’s important to sit and feel your anger, write it down, and use creative outlets as a way to express it.

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Finally, Fall In Love With Acceptance

It’s actually a beautiful thing seeing the way your heart can recuperate from things you thought it could never come back from. Fall in love with the way that your chest doesn’t freeze when you hear their name. Fall in love with the freedom you feel when you retell the story and tears don’t fall from your face. Lastly, you are not alone in this journey, and surround yourself with people who will lift you up throughout the passage.

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IDEAS CURATED BY

Lany González

@lanylovesyou

forgive yourself for not knowing better until you knew better :)

CURATOR'S NOTE

What I wish someone had told me.

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