What to Do When You’re Stuck in the Survival Zone

Self-judgement is because we allow our inner critic to make us feel less. Then we turn our judgment on others to try and feel better. But moving between the two extremes make us forever try to prove our worthiness at the expense of ourselves and others.

When you notice those feelings arise, try to only notice them without judging yourself.

If someone or something triggers a surge of negative emotion in you, take a deep breath and notice where in your body you feel tension.

Just noticing your emotion allows you to distance yourself from your reaction. Then turn your attention to becoming relaxed.

Think about a person, place, animal or activity that makes you feel safe and secure.

When you're in a difficult situation, use these steady sources of support.

Take up something you enjoy for its own sake.

What activity do you love and have given up on, but you could do it as a source of renewal for an hour or two a week?

Care and empathy is a powerful source of self-regulation and healing.

While we all long to feel valued and seen by others, we can't guarantee they'll do that for us. But we can appreciate others, and in turn, it always makes us feel better about ourselves.