How To Deal With Family Asking About Your Job Search - Deepstash
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Move Away From The Subject

Move Away From The Subject

When you're visiting with relatives, there always seems to be that uncomfortable point in the conversation when you're asked about your "situation" with work. Instead of grinding your teeth, politely tell them you appreciate their concern, and tell them you'll let them know when you're situation changes for the better.

You can move away from the topic by shifting to something related to how they are doing.

"I appreciate you asking. I am doing fine. I have some things in the works but I am choosing not to discuss them at this time. When I have an offer and know where I will land, you will know."

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Realize They Do It Because They Care

After being asked about your job search efforts for the fifth time, it can be hard to remember that your family is just trying to help.

See the question for what it truly is: care and concern for your well-being.  Use it as a chance to practice your elevator speech and enjoy the time with family and friends. So, even if it's hard, try to be patient and treat them with respect.

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Make Them Feel Helpful

Your friends and family probably have the best of intentions by asking about your job search, but it can be frustrating when they continue to badger you about your employment prospects. To keep the peace, thank them for checking in with you, but let them know that your job search is proving to be more challenging than you had hoped.

Use their concern as a positive and ask them if they have any contacts in your field or know of any openings that might be in line with your skill set.

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Keep Your Answers Short, But Positive

You can craft a short, to-the-point response that will satisfy most family members.

If they continue to probe after your short answer, remain consistent with short, upbeat responses. We often think under these circumstances that we need to get detailed but if you think about many other conversations, especially around Thanksgiving time (with loads of people), they are usually fairly superficial and short.

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Set Boundaries

The most important thing is to recognize you don't owe an explanation to anyone about how your job search is going. 

You can and should set boundaries with your extended family and friends by making clear what you will and won't talk about.

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emil_ftw

Relationships need work. I study how to be good at it.

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