Learn more about psychology with this collection
The importance of practice and repetition in learning
How to stay motivated and avoid burnout while learning
How to break down complex concepts into manageable parts
Emotional intelligence is the result of good habits, not nice ideas. And if you want to improve your emotional intelligence, commit to these practices:
Let go of unhelpful thoughts
Accept difficult emotions
Handle your mistakes with compassion
Choose values over feelings
While our instinct to think more and think harder serves us well most of the time, there are still a lot of situations when more thinking makes things worse
Thinking hard is a tool. And like any tool, it can be used well or poorly.
Emotionally intelligent people understand when a situation can benefit from more thinking and when it will only make things worse.
It’s natural to run away from painful feelings. But that only makes them stronger in the end.
How you react to things—especially emotionally charged things—teaches your brain what to think about those things in the future.
More than understanding that just because something feels bad doesn’t mean it is bad, emotionally intelligent people train themselves to react to painful emotions with acceptance, not avoidance.
Because here’s the thing: When you accept your emotions with willingness, you teach your brain that they’re safe and normal however uncomfortable they feel.
The habit of self-critical negative self-talk doesn't motivate us to be better in the future. All it does is discourage you because it keeps you feeling anxious, insecure, and full of self-doubt
What if you changed your self-criticism habit into a self-compassion
Self-compassion simply means treating yourself after a mistake like you would treat a friend: with kindness and encouragement.
In practice, try this:
The heart of emotional intelligence is the ability to subordinate your feelings to your values.
The problem is when you get in the habit of making decisions based exclusively on how you feel because your feelings will get you into trouble just as often as they will help you.
To become more emotionally intelligent people, train yourself to notice conflicts between feelings and values. And then ask yourself a simple question:
What do I REALLY want right now?
If it helps, try to get in the habit of thinking about Little-W wants and Capital-W wants:
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