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The Art of People

The Art of People

by Dave Kerpen


699 reads


"Life is short. The less time we waste on the weather, the better."

When meeting a new person

Rather than the usual ‘what do you do for a living' or ‘where do you live’ consider a few of the following questions:

  • In your professional life, what do you think is the most exciting thing?
  • In your personal life, what is exciting you the most at the moment?

  • A large part of understanding people is not to talk but indeed the exact opposite, to shut up and listen.
  • You have to resist the urge to talk and you have to continue to bring the conversation back to the other person. You have to learn to genuinely listen and show ...


  • Validation is a powerful way to diffuse anger and frustration.
  • Validation is taking mirroring to another level. The idea is to repeat what the other person is saying, but also to suggest some understanding of how they are feeling. One caveat to be a...


”Remember that people care more about themselves than they care about you. People want to talk about themselves. Listening and letting people talk is key to winning them over in life, in business, and in all human relationships.”

There’s a simple key to networking that nobody talks about. Standing out from the crowd, you want to be noticed. In a room full of people trying to get noticed, you need a point of difference.

Wear an attention-grabbing piece of clothing, something that stands out and i...

Influencing people

If you really want to be influential, you want to encourage people to come up with your idea ‘all on their own’:

  • Don’t use the phrase ‘I have an idea’. Subtly push the other person in the direction of your idea and the results. Don’t be explicit.
  • You could

  • If you are a manager, identify a few people that report directly to you. (If you aren’t a manager identify a few people that you influence in one way or another).
  • Remember a few of your favorite school teachers. How was their teaching beneficial to you and how did they affect your pe...


”These days, anyone can be a leader, whether the group you’re leading is your company, your team, your department, or your family. You can be a leader even if you have no official leadership role and are simply setting a good example for the people around you. And you can develop many leaders on ...

Managing conflict

The key is that you need to put all people at ease, it’s not about finding a winner but finding a resolution that works for both sides.

Conflict usually appears when someone is struggling to feel heard or be helped. It’s important to understand both sides and let each side...


”Remember, it's not all about you. Whether you’re speaking to an audience of three thousand, three hundred, thirty, or three, if your hope is to inspire them, your material and delivery have to be about them and how they can grow, not about you.”

When providing feedback, ensure that your criticism is always constructive and consider the following points:

  • Don’t deliver a critique in front of other people. Don’t try to shame someone.
  • Have a one-on-one discussion.
  • Rather than just identifying ...

To change people’s minds, avoid the sales pitch

People don’t like being sold to. Instead, focus on storytelling.

Storytelling allows you to share about yourself and it allows people to connect with you at an emotional level.

It’s not a technique, it’s more authentic.

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