<ul><li>Love, at first sight, is never love, it’s mere attraction towards physical appearance, which is Lust.</li><li>Lust will eventually fade away once the physical needs are satisfied.</li><li>Aren't we all walking on the thin line between Love & Lust?</li></ul>

Love vs. Lust

<ul><li>Love takes time to grow on someone, it's more like planting a tree.</li><li>Every relationship requires a strong root of emotional bonding.</li><li>Honesty, Looking out for each other, Valuable Sacrifices, fuel the tree to grow strong and spread its roots deeper & stronger.</li></ul>

The Seed of Love

<a href="https://phanestories.wordpress.com/2021/09/29/why-we-fail-in-love-what-are-we-doing-wrong-in-a-relationship/">Click on the link to read full post.</a>

<img width="626" height="626" src="https://phanestories.files.wordpress.com/2021/09/8d8931c90ec3acfb18b3e94f10cf1e69.jpg?w=626" alt="" srcset="https://phanestories.files.wordpress.com/2021/09/8d8931c90ec3acfb18b3e94f10cf1e69.jpg 626w, https://phanestories.files.wordpress.com/2021/09/8d8931c90ec3acfb18b3e94f10cf1e69.jpg?w=150 150w, https://phanestories.files.wordpress.com/2021/09/8d8931c90ec3acfb18b3e94f10cf1e69.jpg?w=300 300w"> I’m afraid to love again, will I lose again if I love.? It’s not traumatic, it’s not depression (I believe it is not). But throughout my life, I have knocked on the wrong door seeking love, made bad decisions thinking of imaginary narratives. I always thought of happy endings and created a storyline in my mind where every situation was favorable for me. I do not properly examine my decisions and jump to conclusions too easily without thinking about the negative aspects of the narratives I have in mind, or I choose to ignore them. When you think you are in love, you need to decide what form of love is it. Love, at first sight, is never love, it’s mere attraction towards physical appearance, which will eventually fade away once the physical needs are satisfied. Love takes time to grow, it’s like planting a tree, how strong the tree stands on its ground depends on how deep the root grows. Every relationship requires a strong root of emotional connection which can survive floods &amp; storms. Emotional connections are built through interactions, by sharing stories about ourselves, our passion, desires, and expectations. The most common mistake people make in a relationship is forcing their expectations &amp; desires on someone without understanding their partner. It’s like hiring someone to bake a cake without asking them whether they know how to do it. Just because they eat a lot, that doesn’t mean they can cook well. Just because he/she looks beautiful doesn’t mean he/she will act mature &amp; responsible or is loveable. How do we build a relationship.? It’s the same strategy that has been told again and again, throughout time. Get to know each other, be honest about your past and expectations of the future, confess what you are willing to sacrifice for their comfort and what you expect them to sacrifice for your comfort. If these boxes are ticked then you are halfway there, the other half depends on how committed you can stay to your vows in the long run. Ask yourself, what are you willing to sacrifice for them? Are you fine with their past? Are you sure they will keep their promises? It’s not an easy ride, it takes time. And if you can’t spare time to find out, then love is not what you desire. When we are emotionally connected with someone without realizing what their expectations and desires are, even the slightest ignorance creates the greatest heartbreak. We live in a time where relationships are built through chat boxes, smiles and kisses are shared through emojis. Relationships nowadays are built through fantasies rather than emotions, and the thing with fantasy is, it’s not real. Making your intentions clear is the hardest part, what is that you desire in a relationship! If you can’t be honest, if you can’t be yourself, if you can’t support each other, if you want only your physical needs to be satisfied, then do not commit by giving false promises. If you do it once you will do it again, and the more you do it, the definition of relationship and love changes in your mind. We all are emotional beings, we need someone in our life to share our happiness and sorrows, to accept our flaws, and encourage us to become a better version of ourselves. This should work in both ways, you should be able to provide what you expect. If you expect someone to forgive your mistakes, you should be ready to forgive them. If you expect them to cook breakfast for you, you should be ready to cook dinner for them. If you expect them to give you space in difficult times, you should be able to do the same too. When you know you are in a bad relationship, if you feel you are not respected, when you realize you are the only person fuelling the ride, you should gain the courage to walk away. It’s hard to tell ourselves that our fantasies are not true, but if you cannot point out a mistake of your partner without fearing a breakup, then you are forcing yourself to keep the fantasy real. The more you force the fantasy to reality the more you become emotionally drained. Anxiety and depression follow. Not every love story is a fairy tale and has a happy ending. We already know it, but we lie to ourselves, we hope everything will turn around one day, and we live a miserable life dreaming for that day to come. Only to realize that our dreams are turning into a nightmare. It doesn’t matter what stories you tell yourself. The moment you realize you are in a bad place, pause and think, Should I continue on this road? Should I wait for the storm to pass? Should I take a different route? Yes, we can choose to end it anytime, but we choose to stay just to keep our fantasies real. All the decisions we make in our life are based on how much pain we are willing to intake, and how much we are willing to sacrifice. We think we choose our happiness, but in reality, we choose our pain, and love gives us great pleasure and equal pain. So choose your pain for someone who values it. “You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.” Sam KeenBy.<s>Phane – Master of None</s>

I'm afraid to love again, will I lose again if I love.?It's not traumatic, it's not depression (I believe it is not).But throughout my life, I have knocked on the wrong door seeking love, made bad decisions thinking of imaginary narratives. I always thought of happy endings and created a storyline in my mind where…

Understand yourself and those around you.

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Psychology

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Personal Development

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Communication

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Love & Relationships

I’m afraid to love again, will I lose again if I love.? It’s not traumatic, it’s not depression (I believe it is not). But throughout my life, I have knocked on the wrong door seeking love, made bad decisions thinking of imaginary narratives. I always thought of happy endings and created a storyline in my mind where every situation was favorable for me. I do not properly examine my decisions and jump to conclusions too easily without thinking about the negative aspects of the narratives I have in mind, or I choose to ignore them. When you think you are in love, you need to decide what form of love is it. Love, at first sight, is never love, it’s mere attraction towards physical appearance, which will eventually fade away once the physical needs are satisfied. Love takes time to grow, it’s like planting a tree, how strong the tree stands on its ground depends on how deep the root grows. Every relationship requires a strong root of emotional connection which can survive floods & storms. Emotional connections are built through interactions, by sharing stories about ourselves, our passion, desires, and expectations. The most common mistake people make in a relationship is forcing their expectations & desires on someone without understanding their partner. It’s like hiring someone to bake a cake without asking them whether they know how to do it. Just because they eat a lot, that doesn’t mean they can cook well. Just because he/she looks beautiful doesn’t mean he/she will act mature & responsible or is loveable. How do we build a relationship.?

It’s the same strategy that has been told again and again, throughout time. Get to know each other, be honest about your past and expectations of the future, confess what you are willing to sacrifice for their comfort and what you expect them to sacrifice for your comf ort. If these boxes are ticked then you are halfway there, the other half depends on how committed you can stay to your vows in the long run.

Ask yourself, what are you willing to sacrifice for them? Are you fine with their past? Are you sure they will keep their promises? It’s not an easy ride, it takes time. And if you can’t spare time to find out, then love is not what you desire. When we are emotionally connected with someone without realizing what their expectations and desires are, even the slightest ignorance creates the greatest heartbreak. We live in a time where relationships are built through chat boxes, smiles and kisses are shared through emojis. Relationships nowadays are built through fantasies rather than emotions, and the thing with fantasy is, it’s not real. Making your intentions clear is the hardest part, what is that you desire in a relationship! If you can’t be honest, if you can’t be yourself, if you can’t support each other, if you want only your physical needs to be satisfied, then do not commit by giving false promises. If you do it once you will do it again, and the more you do it, the definition of relationship and love changes in your mind. We all are emotional beings, we need someone in our life to share our happiness and sorrows, to accept our flaws, and encourage us to become a better version of ourselves. This should work in both ways, you should be able to provide what you expect. If you expect someone to forgive your mistakes, you should be ready to forgive them. If you expect them to cook breakfast for you, you should be ready to cook dinner for them. If you expect them to give you space in difficult times, you should be able to do the same too. When you know you are in a bad relationship, if you feel you are not respected, when you realize you are the only person fuelling the ride, you should gain the courage to walk away. It’s hard to tell ourselves that our fantasies are not true, but if you cannot point out a mistake of your partner without fearing a breakup, then you are forcing yourself to keep the fantasy real. The more you force the fantasy to reality the more you become emotionally drained. Anxiety and depression follow. Not every love story is a fairy tale and has a happy ending. We already know it, but we lie to ourselves, we hope everything will turn around one day, and we live a miserable life dreaming for that day to come. Only to realize that our dreams are turning into a nightmare. It doesn’t matter what stories you tell yourself. The moment you realize you are in a bad place, pause and think, Should I continue on this road? Should I wait for the storm to pass? Should I take a different route? Yes, we can choose to end it anytime, but we choose to stay just to keep our fantasies real. All the decisions we make in our life are based on how much pain we are willing to intake, and how much we are willing to sacrifice. We think we choose our happiness, but in reality, we choose our pain, and love gives us great pleasure and equal pain. So choose your pain for someone who values it.

“You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly .” Sam Keen

Why Relationship Fail? What are you doing wrong in Love?

Love vs. Lust

The Seed of Love

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