342 - To Forgive or Not To Forgive — Multiamory
Psychologists generally define forgiveness as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. … Forgiveness does not mean forgetting, nor does it mean condoning or excusing offenses.
Forgiveness typically involves:
Letting go of anger or resentment you’re holding on to.
Some amount of empathy towards the person who hurt you.
Not necessarily reconciling or going back to the same relationship as before.
There are several reasons: Less stress, better for your mental health and self esteem. But it's difficult because we often believe forgiveness means lack of justice or weakness. And we're sometimes forced to forgive before we're ready.
Self-forgiveness can lead to the improvement of both relationship and partner satisfaction. Being more benevolent towards oneself after transgressing can promote a better relationship, and accepting responsibility for one’s wrongdoing
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