• Traditional wisdom in the world of personal finance dictates that no one should spend more than 30 percent of their income on housing.
• However, in high-cost-of-living areas, spending 30 percent or less on housing is laughable
• Not only are these budgeting categories outdated and unrealistic, they also don't make room for the reality that people want to enjoy life.

• Self-compassion is about extending grace to yourself using three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness
• Unlike personal finance advice that chides individuals for messing up, this helps folks be easier on themselves
• To see how it works in practice, imagine you were late on a credit card bill. Take a deep breath and realize it's okay.

When we experience financial shame, it can make it hard to ask for help, learn about money, or take necessary steps to improve financial well-being.

Four things that help alleviate shame: personal vulnerability, critical awareness, reaching out, and speaking shame.

• When you are working on creating a healthy relationship with money, don’t forget to pause and give yourself credit.
• Research has found that the more frequently we experience a sense of progress, like a "small win," the more likely we are to continue that positive behaviour.
• The more we celebrate those kinds of wins, the more it confirms that we can all be good with money.