Matthew Clark's Key Ideas from The Gap and The Gain
by Dan Sullivan, Dr. Benjamin Hardy

• Are there any areas in your life where you have obsessive passion? If so, what unresolved internal need are you trying to fill? 
• What about your life and work do you love? 
• What is your long game? When you’re playing the long game, you’re doing what you love. You’re not doing something just to get somewhere else. 
• Do you have a long enough timetable to truly slow down and enjoy being here, or are you trying to quickly get “there”? 

• External reference points make it impossible to feel successful because no matter what you’ve done, the success criteria are always moving.
• Getting out of the GAP and into the GAIN means you’ve made yourself your own reference point. The GAP means your life is determined by someone or something external. The GAIN means you’re living a self-determined life. 
• When your reference point is internal, you make the final call on what “success” means to you, regardless of what other people think. 
• When your reference point is internal, happiness and success are always right here and right now.  

• What are the reference points you measure yourself against? 
• Why did you choose those particular reference points? 
• How do you define and measure success for yourself?
• Are the reference points you measure yourself against external or internal? 
• How often do you compare yourself to others? 
• How much time do you spend on social media? 
• Are you self-determined and free?  

Being in the GAP creates a negative compound effect in your life. But being in the GAIN creates a positive compound effect in your life. 

The GAP and the GAIN are valuable tools because there is a language for them. Explain the GAP and the GAIN concept to those you love, and give them permission to call you out when you go into the GAP.

Psychologists have found that practising mental subtraction—thinking of the absence of the good things in your life—can make you appreciate them more. to remind yourself of the GAINS in your life. 

• Call yourself out when you catch yourself in the GAP. Immediately look for and vocalize the GAIN. 
• Tell five people you know and love about The GAP and The GAIN. If you so choose, get them a copy of this book so they can live more in the GAIN themselves. 
• Give those five people permission to call you out when you’re in the GAP. 
• Help others see and appreciate their own GAINS more by (1) asking them about their recent progress, and (2) pointing out to them their progress. It can be very humbling and empowering to have someone recognize or point out your progress.  

• When was a time you went into the GAP because you went from wanting something to believing you needed it? 
• When was a time you went into the GAP by comparing yourself to someone else? 
• When was a time you used gratitude to reframe a situation into a GAIN and move forward?

It’s easy to forget about your GAINS because your memories are always reconstructed in the present, based on your current perspective. 

It is a good idea to do journaling or an annual review to tap back into the context of your former self, and see the massive GAINS. 

Being reminded of the easily forgotten past boosts your hope, motivation, confidence, and resilience. You’re not the exact same person you were in the past. You’ve evolved and grown a lot, even in the past 90 days. 

• Where am I right now? 
• What are my wins from the past 90 days? 
• What are my desired wins for the next 90 days? 
• Where will I be in 12 months? 
• Where will I be in 3 years?

What you do during the 60 minutes before bed has an enormous impact on your sleep quality, as well as the direction and quality of your next day. 

Reactivity begets reactivity. If you’re staring at your phone before bed, mindlessly scrolling or consuming, not only will you sleep worse, but you’ll continue that same unhealthy addictive behaviour the next day. 

Write in your journal three wins from that day. Then, write down the three biggest wins you’ll get the next day. No more than three. 

• Being in the GAIN is not simply about seeing life on the bright side. Being in the GAIN is about taking every experience life throws at you and transforming it to serve you. 
• When you’re in the GAP, you ask yourself, “Why did this happen?” and act like a victim. When you’re in the GAIN, you control the meaning of your past. You cherish your past and use it as precious feedback for clarifying what you truly want and value. 
• Being in the GAIN is an approach-motivated way of life, and it enables you to turn every valley into a future peak.  

• Think about any specific experience—positive or negative. Ask yourself: What about this experience worked? 
• What “usefulness” can you get from this experience to improve your future? 
• What can you learn from this experience about what you don’t want? 
• Knowing what you know now, because you’ve had this experience, how will you approach your future differently? 
• What about this experience are you grateful for?