Courtney Abbott's Key Ideas from Convinced!
by Jack Nasher

It’s not your actual competence that counts. It’s how people perceive your competence that makes the difference. You can apply impression management techniques, tools and tactics to convince others of your competence. Persuading others gives you a tremendous advantage over people who are equally competent but can’t differentiate themselves.

Competence, even brilliance, isn’t self-evident. You must showcase your skills, expertise and competence, so they resonate most strongly with those whom you want to impress.

Brilliance does not speak for itself. You can, in fact, be the best in the world and no one will notice.

To demonstrate your competence, use “expectation management” to direct other people’s anticipation and shape positive perceptions of your competence. When you help people reduce or eliminate anxiety about dealing with a stranger – in this case, you – you benefit. Demonstrate confidence in yourself. Subtly refer to your past successes in areas that matter to those whose support you require.

Use the technique of priming your audience by projecting competence from within. 

For example, suppose your boss asks you to stand in front of your colleagues and answer several questions. “What are you…good at?” “What was your greatest professional success?” “Why should you, of all people, take on the responsibility for an upcoming project?” “Why should anyone be led by you?” Prime yourself by developing answers in advance to these and other likely questions.

In 1980, Senator Ted Kennedy campaigned for the US presidency. During a high-profile TV interview, newsman Roger Mudd asked Kennedy, “Why are you running for president?” Ten incredibly long seconds passed – an eternity of dead air – before Kennedy came up with an answer. This was the precise moment when Kennedy’s presidential campaign inexorably started downhill.

Prime yourself to answer probable questions from bosses, clients and job interviewers. Have clear answers ready. 

Positive news radiates positively over every other aspect of a person or event, and bad news does so negatively.

Always deliver good news face-to-face, not by phone or email. If you make a presentation sharing good news, stretch it out as long as possible. After your presentation, don’t immediately retreat from the podium. Every second you stand there will solidify your association with that good news.

You can’t directly assess the factor by which competence contributes to successful performance and/or achievement. Many aspects play a part in any successful outcome. Elements of the competence formula include performance, ability, motivation, dealing with difficulty and luck.

During his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford University, Apple CEO Steve Jobs told the graduating students about the severe hardships he faced before he became a business legend. 

“I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned Coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the seven miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple."

More than any other technique, “power talking” will enable you to maximize how others perceive your competence.

Success or failure has surprisingly little influence on the perception of competence. One can appear to be competent despite vast failure and seem incompetent in the midst of immense success.

Powerless speech indicates a lack of status. On the other hand, power talking suggests elevated social status. To speak powerfully, avoid the “uhs.” Don’t repeat yourself. Make your speech – and speech patterns – crystal clear and direct.

Women routinely fall into “powerless speech patterns,” including showing hesitation, trivializing phrases such as “you know” or “pretty good,” and excessive politeness, for example, “Won’t you please close the door?”

The greater your attraction and popularity, the greater will be your perceived competence. Project tact, authenticity and self-confidence.

The more popular you are, the greater will be your perceived competence. The same is true about being more attractive. Popularity and attractiveness are positive indicators. Thanks to the halo effect, these factors enhance all other personal attributes, including perceived competence. The better you can increase your popularity and attractiveness, the more competent you will seem.

Ingratiation – People like you more the more you compliment them. This is true even of obvious flattery. Starting your compliments with the right introductory phrasing makes them seem more credible.

Opinion Conformity– People like people who agree with their opinions. But if you go overboard, you’ll come across as a toady.

Self-presentation – Most people intuitively know how to win the favour of others. Being kind and courteous is a great place to start. Underline the similarities you share with others.

Personal attractiveness has been a compelling factor for humankind since the Stone Age. 

Keep in mind how people perceive beauty.

Remember four factors when it comes to physical attractiveness:

• For women, what counts most is physique – your weight vis-à-vis your proportions.
• For men, what counts most is facial attractiveness.
• When it comes to women’s faces, most people prefer features like full lips, big eyes and a small nose.
• In general, people consider blonde women more attractive than brunettes.

Many perceptions rely on symbols. Status symbols such as a company car, a title on a business card, a frequent flyer card and a corporate credit card will shape what people think about you and how they act toward you. You can control some of the powerful symbols that help define you to the world.

People use habitus to determine someone’s status, and it’s the most reliable measure of a person’s competence. The habitus elements you choose will define you to the world. Your clothing, your lifestyle choices, and so on will affect how others perceive you and your competence.

BIRGing– a technique that enables you to impress others with minimal effort, though it has nothing to do with competence, perceived or otherwise. 

BIRGing means that your status automatically goes up if you can demonstrate a connection – however slight – with someone of greater status. For BIRGing not to backfire and make you appear to be namedropping, offer your connection with tact and subtlety.

Reliably determining competence in others is a valuable skill. This takes on crucial significance when it comes, for example, to selecting a lawyer, a surgeon or a financial professional.

Because accurately determining someone’s competence is so difficult, try to judge his or her intelligence instead. Intelligence directly relates to and points to competence.

Highly intelligent people generally:

• Speak clearly and cogently without any hesitation.
• Establish strong eye contact during conversations with people.
• Possess ample self-confidence.
• Stay alert and react quickly.

• Does the person ask intelligent questions?
• Can the person separate important from unimportant factors?
• When you present a particular issue that needs resolution, does he or she respond with the most logical, appropriate answers?
• Is the person able to consider all the possible options for resolving the issue?
• Can he or she properly weigh the pros and cons for each option?