How To Move On: 10 Steps For Closure After You Break Up - Deepstash

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Move forward after a breakup: Accept the situation

Move forward after a breakup: Accept the situation

Before you can move on from a relationship, you’ll need to give yourself however much time and space is necessary to get to a place of acceptance.

  • Even though it may not have worked out the way you wanted, accepting that the relationship was limited and is over is very important.  So even if it seems to be taking a long time – and you’re tired of taking two steps forward, then one step back – be gentle with yourself during the process.
  • If you catch yourself harboring fantasies of getting back together, just smile at yourself and turn those visions off. 
  • Accept that this chapter of your life has closed and tell yourself you’ll be better off by moving on. 

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Move forward after a breakup: Distance yourself

Move forward after a breakup: Distance yourself

Maybe one day the two of you can be friends again, but now is not the time. Your heart is still freshly wounded and seeing or contacting him will only make things worse. Keeping your distance is vital for the healing process to not only begin but to become complete.

  • If some of his belongings are still at your place, have a friend, relative or roommate stay home when he comes to pick them up so you don’t have to see him. If you need to retrieve items from his place, send a friend to do the deed. 
  • Resist the urge to call, text or email him to see how he’s doing or to find out if he thinks the two of you made a huge mistake by breaking up. Keeping in contact with him now may leave you hoping he’s thinking about getting back together.

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Move forward after a breakup: Stop talking about it

In the beginning, you’ll probably need to get everything off your chest by talking about the breakup with friends and relatives. That’s healthy. Go ahead and get it all out. Bottling up emotions is not conducive to moving on, and can be downright unhealthy.

.Once you’ve let it all out, try to stop talking about him. If you don’t, your friends may start avoiding your company. Talk about something else – or better yet, let your friends talk instead. They might not say so, but they’ll welcome the reprieve. 

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Move forward after a breakup: Skip the blame game

Move forward after a breakup: Skip the blame game

While it’s tempting to play the blame game after a breakup, it won’t help you. Going over and over hurtful scenarios only keeps you focused on negative emotions. So close the book on that chapter of your life and focus on figuring out how to move on.

Resist the urge to blame yourself, the other person, or anyone else (your meddling parents, his annoying friends) for what went wrong in the relationship. Accept that fact and move on to something better. 

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Move forward after a breakup: Learn from it

Part of learning how to move on after a break-up is learning from your experience. This includes the break-up itself as well as your entire relationship.

Ask yourself what words or behaviors you’d want to repeat in the future, and which things you aren’t proud of yourself for saying or doing. Think about what was great about the relationship, what wasn’t so great, and what led to the demise of the relationship.

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Move forward after a breakup: Picture yourself getting over it

Move forward after a breakup: Picture yourself getting over it

Picture yourself completely over your ex. This may take some time, but keep working at it until the picture of your new life is truly in focus. 

Then enjoy feeling that sense of pride and accomplishment for getting over him and moving on. 

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Move forward after a breakup: Focus on yourself

Make sure you give yourself plenty of time to focus on yourself before beginning another relationship. Do something just for you and give yourself some time to connect with your inner self. 

  • Spend some quality time with close friends and family members. 
  • Take up a hobby, volunteer somewhere, or take a class. 
  • Keep yourself busy, but be careful that you don’t overload on activities just to distract yourself from your ex.
  • That will make your “downtime” seem even more painful. 
  • Do something to boost your self-esteem, which has likely taken a bit of a beating since the breakup. Get a new haircut, for example.

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Move forward after a breakup: Get out there!

Move forward after a breakup: Get out there!

If you haven’t gone out to a social event since the break-up, now is the time. This doesn’t mean you should pick up the first cute guy you spot at a bar, but you’ll feel better if you get dressed up and put yourself out in the world to socialize and meet new people.

But don’t go someplace where you’re bound to run into him – pick someplace new! 

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Move forward after a breakup: Take it nice and slow

Figuring out how to move on after a break-up doesn’t mean going overboard with excessive socializing, meeting hundreds of new people, and flirting up a storm with every man you meet. 

Just relax, go slow and enjoy yourself.

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Move forward after a breakup: Don’t generalize and don’t compare

Move forward after a breakup: Don’t generalize and don’t compare

Not every person is like the one you just broke up with – and not every relationship will be like that one, especially if you learn how to move on in a healthy way by learning from your mistakes. 

Your previous relationship broke up for a reason, so open your mind, broaden your horizons, and look for a new kind of relationship that will be different and way better than what you had before. 

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