When you can’t quit a crush
Curated from: theguardian.com
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Limerence
- The term was coined by psychologist Dorothy Tennov in 1979
- It is defined as a biochemical process that happens in the brain which is similar to what addicts feel when they are pulled towards drugs
- Limerence makes people do bizarre things in order to pursue their crush
- The feeling of limerence can last from a few weeks to several decades. The length is dependent on reciprocated feelings.
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Limerence and heartbreaks
People who are in limerence experience heartache more intensely. They might develop mental health issues depending on the severity of the distress caused by "liking someone too much."
According to Dr. Richard Taylor, experiencing limerence is like having reverse PTSD, in which instead of feeling stressed, they feel ecstasy.
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The possibility of limerence becoming a mental health issue
Limerence has been popularized through self help books and thousands of chat rooms have dedicated themselves into the topic itself.
While limerence might not seem like a serious problem, it can actually affect anyone regardless of age, race, and sexuality. For people who have coexisting mental illness, trauma history, and the likes are more prone to limerence.
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Signs you're in limerence
- You idealize a person's characteristics even if they're bad
- You experience despair when rejected and feel euphoric when your feelings might be reciprocated
- You have so many intrusive thoughts about this person. There are imagined scenarios, you feel like you're reminded of this person wherever you go, and you obsessively replay your encounters with them
- You arrange your schedule for the possibility of "accidentally" bump into them
- When you experience "butterflies" with this person.
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