Learn more about personaldevelopment with this collection
How to ask open-ended questions
How to avoid awkward silences
How to show interest in others
Itâs normal to feel frustrated with your partner from time to time. Hell, weâd even go as far as to say that itâs weird to never feel frustrated with them. Marriage can be frustrating. When two people live together, coping with bills, mortgages, kids, schedules, in-laws, mouth breathing, weird snacking, and everything in between, one person will inevitably drive the other one a bit nuts. But frustration can quickly deteriorate into resentment or full-on anger . So, the trick becomes understanding how to deal with frustration in a healthy way.
32
421 reads
âIt is normal for everyone to feel frustrated with their partner,â says Cheri Timko , a Couples Relationship Coach. âPart of living together is navigating how to be two people with different personalities and still live together peacefully.â How we handle the differences can greatly influence other parts of the relationship, so it is important to be particularly aware in these situations. âWhen they are handled poorly,â Timko adds, âit can lead to anger and resentment for both partners. When done well, situations of frustration can help build and strengthen your bond.â
31
317 reads
This is age-less advice for a reason. It can be very easy to get so consumed by your own frustration that youâre only able to see how it affects you. But if you try to take a look at the situation from your partnerâs side and ask yourself how you might feel, or how you might react, and chances are youâll be in a better place.
35
276 reads
âThink of how this situation is related to other situations for your partner,â adds Timko. âThis is not your interpretation, but what you know they would say if they explained it to you.â If you are stuck, Timko suggests writing a letter from them to you explaining their experience in the situation.
30
260 reads
Why? Because how else are you going to get to the root of your frustration? The key is calm. Talk to your partner and ask them to explain the reasoning behind their actions and emotions. Listen and ask questions to try and gain some understanding. âIt is important that you choose a good time to ask so you both stay calm,â Timko says. âYou may not get the opportunity to describe your part, but knowing what is happening for your partner will help you deal with it better.â
30
239 reads
If youâve been with someone long enough, you usually can start to tell when things are going badly. When you sense a tense situation beginning to brew, it might be wiser to try and nip the argument in the bud before it gets worse. âKnow ahead of time what are the signs and symptoms that your frustration and irritation are growing and what you need to do to manage them,â says Timko. Calling a timeout and returning to a conversation when youâve cooled down (and actually re-engaging with it) is always an excellent strategy.
31
213 reads
Itâs always good to remember that you and your spouse are playing the long game. Sometimes you may have to give more in a certain situation and other times, itâs your partner who will have to put their feelings aside to focus on you. If you are both in it together, you can navigate these bumps in the road and keep your focus on the longevity of your partnership. âEvery relationship has times when one partner puts in more,â says Timko. âYou may need to be the bigger person in this situation. As hard as it is, it is an investment in the future of the relationship.â
32
165 reads
When tensions are running high, someone is going to say or do something that will set one or both of you off. Wait until youâve both cooled off to address what it is thatâs frustrating you. âChoose the time to discuss your frustrations carefully,â says Timko. âBad times are when your partner is busy with other things, before work or bed, or when either of you are frustrated or exhausted. If this is all of the time, you might have a bigger problem in the relationship than just the situation that is irritating you.â
31
150 reads
You canât control how your partner behaves, but you can control your own reaction to their behavior. If theyâre doing something or saying something that frustrates you, and you let it get you to the point where you yourself fly off the handle, then youâve only made the situation worse. âYou are responsible for bringing your best self to as many situations as possible,â says Timko. âFor many people, managing your own emotions is something they consider as a bare minimum in a relationship.â
32
144 reads
Being aware of whatâs happening around you â and understanding that, oh, you or your partner might be stressed because of X and Y factors ân can help you approach a stressful situation more rationally. âWe are at our worst when something big is changing in our lives,â Timko says. âIt is important that you keep a careful watch for how these things are affecting you so you donât let the frustration build.â
31
138 reads
Frustration can sometimes build to a point where you and your partner canât stand to be in the same space. However, even when two people get to that point, they continue to battle it out, talking and arguing until tempers flare and things are said that both partners regret. Before you reach that point, take a moment to step away and get clear. Go for a run, engage in a solo activity or just find a quiet spot to gather your thoughts.
32
133 reads
Itâs important that you calmly let your partner know that youâre taking space and why youâre doing it. âVerbally explaining what youâre doing can be extremely helpful for a partner who may easily jump to conclusions or assume the worst if you temporarily disappearâeither emotionally or physically,â explains marriage and family therapist Amber Trueblood.
30
135 reads
Very often, we tend to lay the blame for our feelings solely at the feet of our partner. They become the source for all of our frustration, irritation, and anger. We say things like, âShe always does this,â or âHe never listens.â In the worst case scenarios, we might start to think, âIf I wasnât with him/her, everything would be better.â The truth is, while our partner may be frustrating, the level of frustration we take it to is a result of the tape loop that plays in our own heads.
30
132 reads
Does your partner really always do something? Do they really never listen? âOnce you can identify these narratives, you have the power to challenge them,â says Lori Ann Kret, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker. âYou can choose to look for the exceptions; those moments when your partner really does show up for you in the way that you need them to.â
30
137 reads
9 Things To Do When You're Feeling Frustrated With Your Partner
â
More like this
11 ideas
10 Ways to Deal With Frustration
declutterthemind.com
7 ideas
Read & Learn
20x Faster
without
deepstash
with
deepstash
with
deepstash
Access to 200,000+ ideas
â
Access to the mobile app
â
Unlimited idea saving & library
â
â
Unlimited history
â
â
Unlimited listening to ideas
â
â
Downloading & offline access
â
â
Personalized recommendations
â
â
Supercharge your mind with one idea per day
Enter your email and spend 1 minute every day to learn something new.
I agree to receive email updates