To Avoid Loneliness, Focus on Connecting Instead of Impressing - Deepstash





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To Avoid Loneliness, Focus on Connecting Instead of Impressing

To Avoid Loneliness, Focus on Connecting Instead of Impressing


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Choices define us

Choices define us

Choices define us in all the fields, on all the levels. Whether it is about our personal or professional life, choices make us who we are. And sometimes these can differ from what the others choose.

If our choices are too different from the ones of the people around, we might end up as lonely as possible, as individuals like feeling that they have something in common with each other.


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The 80/20 rule for building connections

Most people spend 80% of their time trying to get people to notice them by showing off how different they are and 20% trying to find something in common once they have some attention.

What you should really be doing instead is spending 80% of your time finding common ground with people you want to get to know, and 20% of your time falling back on those unique things that set you apart.


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Be a valuable connection

In order to establish new connections, you should try to highlight what you have in common with others. However, while doing this, make sure you also integrate elements that set you apart: unique experiences that make you who you are today.

After all, your new friends will like you for everything you represent, not only what they perceive as being familiar.


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Make meaningful connections

When making new friends, it is essential that both you and your new friends care about the friendship that is to be born.

Therefore, focus firstly on the common passions and develop these before getting to any new adventure together with your new pals.


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Improvisation is something we are all likely to deal with once in a while. Life is full of moments that require our skill to improvise, so we should try and improve at this, as it is not only neces...

Tips to turn improvisation into a piece a cake

If you ever find yourself in need to improvise, but have no clue as how to manage this, have a look at the below tips:

  • listen carefully: in order to make sure you are doing it right, focus only on listening, make eye contact and understand as much as possible the other's feelings
  • accept the challenge: whenever you deal with uncertainty, embrace 'yes' rather than 'no'
  • get used to committing: the best way to connect to somebody is by actually committing to the discussion you are having with that very person.

Practice makes perfect

As in every field of our lives, also when it comes to improvisation, practice makes perfect. Therefore, go ahead and take advantage of every opportunity to practice your new skill.

Rigid Thoughts: Feeling Stuck In Negative Emotions

Rigid Thoughts: Feeling Stuck In Negative Emotions

We get stuck in our emotions due to our spiralling mind, our fixation with old ideas and behaviours, our need to be always right, perfectionism and thinking in absolute terms.


Things We Do To Cope-Up With Negative Feelings

These are the three usual suspects, stuff we do to cope-up with our emotions:

  1. Bottling up our emotions, leading to stress.
  2. Brooding over our emotions, which usually leads to self-blame.
  3. Forcing ourselves to see everything as positive, which can be delusional in many cases.

Get Unstuck: Cultivating Emotional Agility

  1. Acknowledge and accept the various bad ways used to cope-up with negative emotions.
  2. Identify the feelings and be comfortable with the uncomfortable emotions like frustration and hopelessness.
  3. Start a journal and write down your deepest feelings and insecurities.
  4. Look for clues in these negative thoughts, trying to find the underlying cause or pattern.
  5. Identify the basic inconsistencies and try to make a course correction in the right direction.

Pamela Slim
“We are made to create. We feel useful when we create. We release our ‘stuckness’ when we create. We reinvent our liv..."

Pamela Slim

Creativity is complex

It means producing something novel or original, evaluating, solving problems, whether on paper, on stage, in a laboratory or even in the shower.

Knowing how to think

Geniuses know “how” to think, instead of “what” to think.

People who are more creative can simultaneously engage brain networks that don’t typically work together.

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