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To Avoid Loneliness, Focus on Connecting Instead of Impressing
The 80/20 rule for building connections
Most people spend 80% of their time trying to get people to notice them by showing off how different they are and 20% trying to find something in common once they have some attention.
What you should really be doing instead is spending 80% of your time finding common ground with people you want to get to know, and 20% of your time falling back on those unique things that set you apart.
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Choices define us
Choices define us in all the fields, on all the levels. Whether it is about our personal or professional life, choices make us who we are. And sometimes these can differ from what the others choose.
If our choices are too different from the ones of the people around, we might end up as lonely as possible, as individuals like feeling that they have something in common with each other.
The 80/20 rule for building connections
Most people spend 80% of their time trying to get people to notice them by showing off how different they are and 20% trying to find something in common once they have some attention.
What you should really be doing instead is spending 80% of your time finding common ground with people you want to get to know, and 20% of your time falling back on those unique things that set you apart.
Be a valuable connection
In order to establish new connections, you should try to highlight what you have in common with others. However, while doing this, make sure you also integrate elements that set you apart: unique experiences that make you who you are today.
After all, your new friends will like you for everything you represent, not only what they perceive as being familiar.
Make meaningful connections
When making new friends, it is essential that both you and your new friends care about the friendship that is to be born.
Therefore, focus firstly on the common passions and develop these before getting to any new adventure together with your new pals.
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"May the fourth be with you"
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Becoming a slogan
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100 Percent Commitment
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Loose Commitment And Decision Fatigue
If you are only 90 percent committed to your goal (like following a certain diet, for example) you have to ask yourself and test your commitment multiple times a day.
You end up unable to predict your behaviour, and any future outcomes. By having a loose commitment setting in your mind, you are bound to deal with decision fatigue and see yourself repeatedly fail, lowering your confidence.
Setting In Stone Future Behavior
When the commitment is 100 percent, your future behaviour is already set in stone, with no back-and-forth struggle and revisiting of the decision-making condition.
When your best friend offers you a Coke, you know very well that the decision to not have anything like that is already made, and it is easy to say no.
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