How to Remain Emotionally Mature in a Crisis

At key moments in our lives, we may face harrowing events that threaten to upend everything we've carefully learned to believe in and that make a mockery of the soothing voices we've come to trust. In confusion and bitterness, we may turn against therapy and its naive view of reality and cry bitterly. However, once we've endured the initial panic, we can insist that this need be nothing of the sort. We can strive for wisdom despite or even in the midst of the most awful external eventualities.

Psychotherapy does not promise us that nothing will ever go wrong in our lives again. It can't remove intractable evils. What it can do, however, is teach us a variety of mental maneuvers that will render those evils, death among them, a great deal less painful and persecutory than they would otherwise have been. There are better and worse ways to endure the afflictions we cannot avoid. There are ways of interpreting disasters that add a whole new layer of pain and fear to them and others that, while they don't magic away the chaos, at least remove its secondary aggravating characteristics.

Many of us with a choppy inner life and probably a difficult past may quite unfairly tell ourselves when we run into the difficulties of life that this is going to be the end of everything. When a problem hits, we assume that death is clearly nigh, and there isn't going to be any safe way out of this debacle. But however counterintuitive this might sound, even in a pandemic, we may be exaggerating. Not every calamity is the end, and not every end needs to be a deluge.

The outer world can be bad, very bad. And still, the inner world can be making it worse, maybe adding yet more fear, yet more dread, and more of a sense of doom than would be strictly necessary. Some of us will have enjoyed the blessing of that essential figure of early childhood, the soothing adult. When our toy broke, and it seemed it was a misery beyond compare, a kindly adult came, took us in their arms and said, "I know, I know," and held us so tightly until our tears abated. And then, in a calm and loving voice, they plotted with us how we might repair things.

It is an essential ingredient for a happy and successful life. It helps us stay strong in the face of adversity, maintain a positive outlook, and bounce back from setbacks. By developing and strengthening our resilience, we can improve our mental health, increase our chances of success, and lead more fulfilling lives.

It allows us to bounce back from adversity and continue to move forward with a sense of purpose and determination. Resilience can be developed and strengthened through various practices such as mindfulness, meditation, positive self-talk, and social support.