Confessions Of My Habit-Hack Fails: 4 Powerful Lessons Learned From 5 Years Of Struggle

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We will talk about building habits in a few paragraphs. But there’s another confession I have to make first.

Like a magician who picks a card up from his sleeve and tricks the public, I will try to do the same with you. But not because I want to trick you. Unfortunately, building a super mindset depends on your habits.

The more you fail, the more resilient you become. And this might look like an awful scamp, but it’s how it works.

So, what’s the incredible power of not giving up?

• First, you will build a super mindset.
• And second, you will build better habits.

Yet, not giving up means you have to fail first. So, failing is not an option – it’s mandatory.

We talked about super mindsets and habits and how they are connected. You can’t have one without the other. But there’s one last missing point to connect the dots once and for all. And for that, I will need a personal story – one I am not proud of. But I will confess it anyway. (Today, I’m in the mood.)

The first time I wanted to kiss a girl, I became addicted to it. And I used to “fall in love” every week with a new person.

Let’s be honest here – I just wanted to give my first kiss.

Yet, I wasn’t that popular. I was shy, chubby, and not so good at making jokes. I didn’t have any tactics to conquer a girl’s heart. And I didn’t even have enough friends that could teach me.

Trying again and again and again was the only thing I could do. And I even got beaten up because of this resilience I had, but that’s a story for another day.

And by failing so many times, I think I built an addiction to trying.

It wasn’t just about girls anymore. Whatever I tried to do, I couldn’t stop until I reached success. And no matter how hard I would crush, I would always start over because I had nothing to lose.

That’s how you build a super mindset. But now, let’s get to the main point of this issue – what lessons have I learned from all my failing habits over these past few years? And how can you prevent them?

I am addicted to not giving up when I want to build a new habit. It started with the habit of kissing girls and ended with a side hustle.

But how do you build a habit?

Scientific evidence shows that building a new habit takes between 21 and 254 days. And that’s a massive range if you ask me. But it’s reasonable because a habit depends on many factors:

• your natural propensity is a factor
• the type of habit and its difficulty
• and your strategy – your habit-hacking formula.

Starting will always be the greatest challenge when building a new habit.

If you care about it, you will want to gather more information. You will try to avoid failure at all costs. And, sometimes, even do much more than you are supposed to.

But all those behaviors will only have two outcomes:

• you either never start
• or you burn out in a short time.

Here are a few suggestions to start building a habit fast.

• Start the following day. You don’t have to wait until Monday or next month. Tomorrow will always be the best choice to start a new habit.
• Repetition is better than quantity and quality in the beginning. It doesn’t matter how much you do. Just do it.

I used to think my habits were my goals. But when you reach a goal, it doesn’t mean you built a habit.

You may write a book without writing every day .

• The first part of the sentence is a goal.
• The second part is a habit.

So don’t focus on your goals if you want to build a habit. Focus on the habit. And if you find one thing you can do daily or weekly that will make you advance with your goals – that’s what success looks like.

Success is more about finding a daily habit that makes you advance toward your goal than reaching that goal.

I talk a lot about consistency in my content (mostly on X) because it is the key to success. But how do you become consistent?

There are many ways you can do it.

• You may learn about discipline, for example. Discipline is the daily choice of doing the right thing. And, if you take it, you will become consistent.
• You can also build accountability systems thanks to some mentorship or tracking apps. They have the power to motivate and give you feedback on your progress.
• Or you can even use simple rules like not skipping more than once, the 5-second rule, etc.

I am an overachiever and a workaholic. I should just shut up and listen to my lessons. But I am making improvements in this field lately.

Having a job and a side hustle is draining. But I love my side hustle. I think it’s my best personal success. So, I built a habit of working on it 24/7. And even when I’m doing something else, I think about it.

But in the last two months, I forced myself to take a break on Sundays and Mondays because taking a break is mandatory if you want to build a long-term habit.

So, be consistent, but take breaks and declutter your mind when needed.

Taking breaks shouldn’t be something I have to teach you. You may be already doing it by yourselves. But some of us are workaholics. Others spend all their free time on social media. So, here are a few suggestions for taking breaks.

• Do a 24-Hour Do Nothing Challenge once in a while. It will give you enough time to recharge your batteries and gain new perspectives and ideas.
• A habit doesn’t have to happen every day. But only one of the days you decide you want to do it.
• Use your free time to breathe fresh air and move your body. It will activate and recharge your brain.

Most people see procrastination as the enemy they must delete from their lives. But that’s an exaggeration.

Procrastination is a natural tendency of our brain to delay complex tasks with the excuse we will get back to them later. But we never respect that “later” until someone or something forces us to do it. And that’s a problem.

Let me tell you a secret – procrastination is good sometimes. You can’t always be productive. You can’t always give your 100%.

Some days, I am so inspired that I give my 150%. And it feels great. But why do I feel awful when I can only do 50%?

Keep your procrastination tendency under control. But it’s feedback your body gives you. So, don’t expect to delete it from your life.

You control procrastination when you reach at least 20% of your habit. Or, at least, that’s my threshold.

Sometimes, you will finish your habit. Other times, you will do less. But aim for that 20% at least.

• Use the 5-second rule when you realize you have been procrastinating for too much.
• Set a minimum threshold. Once you start, you will complete the habit without realizing it.
• Remove any friction that separates your body/mind from the habit. If you want to build a habit of running, put your shoes where you can see and wear them fast, for example.

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