The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control - Deepstash

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KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

Humans have a special talent for complicating simplicity. We make a spectacle out of simple.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

92

4.52K reads

Energy management beats time management.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

93

1.4K reads

Your memories of perfect moments are memories of moments in which you were most present.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

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1.08K reads

When you ruminate, you mistake replay for reflection. When you catastrophize, you mistake worrying for preparation.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

91

994 reads

You don’t heal by changing who you are; you heal by learning how to be yourself in the world.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

103

865 reads

It was never the terrible things that happened to you that made you stronger; it was the resiliency-building skills you engaged to process the terrible things. What doesn’t kill you can make you stronger, but only if you feel your feelings, process your experience (i.e., figure out what the experience means to you), and engage the protective factors around you—mainly, the power of connection.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

87

712 reads

Sometimes you say a thought out loud to give it weight because it matters. Sometimes you say a thought out loud to let it go because it's trivial. Until you let the words hit the air, it can be difficult to tell which is which.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

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666 reads

You can perfectly paint by numbers without making a single mistake, but you'll never create a masterpiece that way.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

77

671 reads

For perfectionists struggling with emotional perfectionism, everything is timed and measured. They attempt to control their feelings like a volume knob, and not just the "bad" ones.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

72

615 reads

It’s not mere talent that rises to the top, it’s persistence.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

78

639 reads

Enthusiasm itself will not be enough to sustain an endeavor.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

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625 reads

Exploration doesn’t need to culminate in bullet-pointed certainty about anything. Thoughts and feelings don’t need to operate with an itinerary. It’s okay to hold something for a long time, look at it, turn it over, feel it, think about it, turn it over again, talk about it, write about it, and then look up and say, “I don’t know.” It’s okay to not have closure.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

82

522 reads

You will never experience the future; you’re always and only in the present moment. If you’re waiting on the future to feel joy, you will never feel joy.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

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533 reads

A lot of perfectionists think they're driven by success when what they're really driven by is the avoidance of failure-two very different animals.

KATHERINE MORGAN SCHAFLER

82

510 reads

Five types of perfectionists

  • Intense perfectionists: laser-focused on a goal and will do whatever it takes to get there.
  • Classic perfectionists: highly reliable, consistent, detail-oriented, but they can struggle with meaningful connections.
  • Parisian perfectionists: strongly driven by connection with others and can have people-pleasing tendencies.
  • Procrastinator perfectionists: great at preparing and using impulse control but struggle with starting or finishing out of fear it won’t be perfect.
  • Messy perfectionists: they love starting with unbridled ideas and energy but struggle to maintain momentum when the excitement wanes.

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