How To Win Friends and Influence People - Deepstash

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1. Avoid Criticizing, Condemning, or Complaining

Criticism puts others on the defensive and damages relationships. People rarely respond well to being told they are wrong, so instead of condemning, focus on understanding their perspective and addressing the issue constructively.

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"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain—and most fools do."

DALE CARNEGIE

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2. Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation

People crave appreciation and recognition. A simple act of acknowledging someone’s effort or talent can strengthen bonds and open up avenues for influence. Be genuine with your praise, as insincerity can be easily detected.

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3. Arouse in Others an Eager Want

The secret to influencing others lies in aligning their desires with yours. Instead of pushing your agenda, tap into what they want and show how helping you will help them achieve their own goals.

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4. Become Genuinely Interested in Other People

People are more likely to respond positively to you when they feel that you genuinely care about them. Show interest in their lives, hobbies, and concerns. This builds trust and rapport, making your interactions more meaningful.

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5. Smile

A smile is a simple yet powerful tool for making a good impression. It conveys warmth, positivity, and openness, and can immediately set a friendly tone for your interactions. A smile invites others to feel comfortable around you.

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6. Remember and Use People’s Names

A person’s name is the sweetest sound to them. By remembering and using people’s names in conversation, you show respect and attentiveness, which makes others feel valued and recognized.

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7. Be a Good Listener

Listening is a fundamental component of effective communication. When you listen attentively, you give people the feeling of importance. Let others talk about themselves and their experiences; it builds trust and makes them more receptive to your ideas.

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"Listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone."

DALE CARNEGIE

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8. Talk in Terms of the Other Person’s Interests

Conversations flow more naturally when you steer them toward topics that interest the other person. By focusing on what excites them, you keep them engaged and foster a positive connection.

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9. Make the Other Person Feel Important

One of the most powerful principles in human relations is to make people feel valued. Show others that their contributions and opinions matter. This boosts their self-esteem and encourages them to engage more fully with you.

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10. Avoid Arguments

Arguments are rarely productive and often leave both parties feeling worse. Instead of arguing, seek to understand the other person’s viewpoint and find common ground. This prevents conflicts and helps maintain positive relationships.

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11. Respect Others’ Opinions

Even when you disagree, show respect for the other person’s opinions. By validating their perspective, you keep the conversation respectful and open, which makes them more willing to listen to your side of the story.

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12. Admit When You Are Wrong

Admitting mistakes is a sign of strength, not weakness. When you acknowledge your errors, you disarm criticism and foster an environment of honesty and humility. It encourages others to be more forgiving and cooperative.

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13. Let Others Feel the Idea Is Theirs

People are more likely to support a decision or course of action when they believe it was their idea. Encourage others to contribute to discussions and give them ownership over ideas. This builds commitment and buy-in.

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14. Appeal to Nobler Motives

When asking someone for something, appeal to their sense of integrity, honor, or duty. People are more likely to respond positively when they believe they are acting in accordance with their higher values or beliefs.

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15. Dramatize Your Ideas

Presenting ideas with enthusiasm and energy captures attention and makes them memorable. Use stories, analogies, and vivid examples to dramatize your point. This adds impact and makes your ideas more persuasive.

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IDEAS CURATED BY

CURATOR'S NOTE

"Get ready to unlock the timeless secrets to mastering human relationships and becoming a magnet for trust and influence."

Curious about different takes? Check out our How To Win Friends and Influence People Summary book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash users.

Different Perspectives Curated by Others from How To Win Friends and Influence People

Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:

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