Ever Wanted to Get Revenge? Try This Instead - Deepstash

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Ever Wanted to Get Revenge? Try This Instead

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/07/19/smarter-living/how-to-turn-toxic-emotions-into-positive-actions.html

nytimes.com

Ever Wanted to Get Revenge? Try This Instead
You know that “letting go” is probably the healthiest move, but wanting revenge is often much more appealing. But why?

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Why revenge feels more appealing

Why revenge feels more appealing

Humans are protective beings. If what we care about is threatened, our initial instinct is to want to do something about it.

Revenge is a motivator. Adam Rippon, the American figure skater, said his haters motivated him to make it to the Winter Olympics.

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Revenge is unhealthy

While it can feel very satisfying to play tit-for-tat, studies show that revenge is often short-lived.

Revenge can make an incident much harder to overcome. Pay-back ties you to the person and keeps you focused on the mistreatment. It prevents you from moving forward and redirecting your life.

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How to process the toxic emotions

While the desire to "get even" is understandable, doing so is likely to make things worse.

  • You could use the feeling of revenge to highlight what you value and prioritize rather than using your energy to dwell on the past. The catalyst lies in channeling the feeling of revenge to something positive.
  • Letting go of toxic feelings can make you feel powerful - not by exercising power over someone else, but over yourself.

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Letting go

We can't control when toxic emotions run through our minds, but we can control how we respond to those feelings.

Instead of seeking revenge, turn inward, find the root of that feeling, and either use it as a learning experience or warning flag as you move toward something better. Doing so will enable you to handle future difficulties with more grace and wisdom

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