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5 Tools for Pushing Back Against Negative Self-Talk

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/negative-self-talk

healthline.com

5 Tools for Pushing Back Against Negative Self-Talk
I have yet to meet someone who hasn't struggled with their self-esteem at some point in their life. As the saying goes, we're often our own worst critics. This can show up not just in our careers, but in every area of our lives.

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Consider Finding a Therapist

Consider Finding a Therapist

It’s important to know that if your negative thoughts are persistent — impacting your quality of life and functioning — it could be a sign of something more serious. Consult a therapist or psychologist to get the best possible support.

When it comes to mental health conditions, having a sounding board from an unbiased outsider’s perspective can sometimes totally shift the way you think.

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Keep a Journal

Keep a Journal

Journaling can be great for getting stuff off your chest and to become more self-aware. Often, we are unaware of our negative thoughts and miss the chance of challenging them — but writing regularly can help with that.

You can create a two-column journal. In the first column, keep notes on any self-criticism that comes up throughout the day. Later, rewrite the first column in more empowering or positive ways to reframe it.

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Learn How To Take a Step Back

Learn How To Take a Step Back

If you’re beating yourself up over something, picture someone that you love in your shoes and think what would you say or do to support them. This allows you to take a step back and practice a little self-compassion, it can help to keep things in perspective.

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Try Out a Guided Meditation

Try Out a Guided Meditation

Meditation helps you become aware of the negative ideas about yourself that you learned from experience, it allows you to rewrite the negative mental script that your brain likes to repeat.

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Naming Your Inner Critic

Naming Your Inner Critic

... is a reminder that we are not our thoughts — we’re just the person listening to them, and as such we can distance ourselves from our thoughts.

Be sure not to identify with your thoughts or place too much weight on them. Think of yourself as the filter, deciding which thoughts to hold on to and which ones to let go.

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Understand the situation

Complaining about a difficult work situation will not make it go away. Try to understand the situation, and find a way to understand and accept your colleagues.

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Learn how to accept criticism

Sometimes it can help us identify weaknesses we didn’t know we had.

Analyze it and take what is helpful from it. If you find it is meaningless bitterness, disregard it immediately.

Winston Churchill

Winston Churchill

“You have enemies? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.”

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Narrative Habits

The way we talk to ourselves about the events in our lives is subject to the same laws of learning and habit formation that physical behaviors are.

That means we can learn to talk to o...

Events + Thoughts = Emotions

Our emotions are always mediated by some form of thinking. 

If our thoughts determine how we feel, that means how we habitually think will determine how we habitually feel.

Mind Reading

It happens when we assume we understand what other people are thinking without any real evidence.

It is a failure of imagination because we often only imagine and focus on the negative aspects.

2 kinds of people

  • Those who believe they can make things happen. They are convinced that the outcome of their lives and careers is more or less in their own hands
  • Those who believe things...

When hard times strike

Those that feel they are in control over their lives also feel stress and anxiety, but they use this anxiety differently: their anxiety fuels passion instead of pity, drive in lieu of despair, and tenacity over trepidation.

Expect and prepare for change

Set aside some time regularly to create a list of important changes that you think could possibly happen. The purpose of this task is to open your mind to change and sharpen your ability to spot and respond to changes. 

Even if the events on your lists never happen, the practice of anticipating and preparing for change will give you a greater sense of command over your future.