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We don't expect other people to be perfect but appreciate when people show their vulnerabilities and admit errors. Yet, we're afraid to expose our own shortcomings.
This is known as "the beautiful mess effect." We see other people's honesty about their flaws as positive, and our own as problematic. Other people's flaws function more like an instructive tale as the distance gives us perspective.
Things fall apart for everyone. If you're wise, you can be resourceful and use the scraps, patch yourself up, and keep going.
Professor Brené Brown states that "vulnerability is courage in you and inadequacy in me." Brown sees the imperfections in people as gifts to be worked with, not embarrassments to be hidden.
The physical evidence of a life well-lived can be a source of pride rather than shame. We don't have to hide the white hair, lined skin, scars, or extra pounds. They can be seen as signs that you persist.
When we expect perfection from everyone, including ourselves, we not only discount much of what is beautiful but create an unrealistic, restrictive, and cruel world where people's flaws are highlighted. Instead, we should highlight the beauty of what we do have, flaws and all, rather than always grasping for more.
According to Zen master Basho, the ordinary mind has no fabrications, no biased value judgments.
That is to say, the experiences you have and the person you already are, suffice. You may occasionally need repairs, but that adds to your character and makes you who you are.
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