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How to know who’s trustworthy | Psyche Guides
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We All Are Work In Progress
There are always certain gaps in our understanding and with it comes the need of help of others to fill in the vacuum. It might be the blind spots we derive from our upbringing or our social circle, or the way misinformation manipulates or skews our thinking.
Talking to an expert seems to be the go-to method for most of us. But expertise may not be absolutely right for our problem, and can feel inadequate or unreliable to us.
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The Five Signs Of Intellectual Dependability
Most mentors or guides show the following signs to help you gauge if they are intellectually dependable:
- Intellectual benevolence.
- Intellectual transparency.
- Communicative clarity.
- Audience sensitivity
- Intellectual guidance.
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Finding Trustworthy People For Guidance
To seek the solution to the dilemma of intellectual dependency, we need to find a person having the basic virtue of intellectual benevolence, the added trust and care of the person who is approached by us.
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Intellectual Benevolence
An expert should ideally be genuinely interested in solving your problem, to get you towards the truth, expand your knowledge, develop your skills and deepen your understanding.
The key sign to observe here is if the person is happy about your progress, or from the fact that their advice is being followed (even if it leads to a wrong outcome).
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Social Vigilantism
Many people are intellectually unreliable, and can be driven towards influencing the views of others. They think they are right, and their thoughts are superior to others, leading to a constant desire to correct the other person and make people see their worldview.
The problem is not if their view is right or wrong, but the fact that they impose their own brand of thoughts on the other, not caring for the person to make discoveries on their own accord.
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Intellectual Transparency
A person who is a reliable guide or mentor tends to be faithful, transparent and honest.
They recognize your problem and provide the best possible solution, admitting their own limitations in the process. This makes the entire interaction trustworthy, fulfilling and transparent.
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Intellectually Vain Or Timid
Being intellectually vain is the opposite of being transparent, and happens when the person is not concerned about your wellbeing but their own reputation, and the impression they convey.
When mentors are intellectually timid, their responses are negative, or none, as they want to avoid the harm that would come from being wrong. These people fear helping due to the risk they have of exposing themselves.
Key signs to watch out for here is the mentor's eagerness to have their ideas followed, or their fearfulness on how their ideas will be taken.
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Intellectual Dependability: Communication Clarity
If a mentor is unambiguous and completely clear in the communication, leading to a deep understanding and clarity on the subject, they are intellectually dependable.
A key sign here is that the simplicity and clear language, not hiding themselves under the garb or abbreviations and gibberish, something known as pseudo-profundity.
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Intellectual Reliability: Audience Sensitivity
If the mentor is paying attention to the details of your views, experiences and unique traits, and then tailoring their response to fit the other person, then they are applying the appreciative quality of audience sensitivity.
Many who are not in the mode of listening, or are too self-aware/self-conscious, would not have this quality, and the key sign to look for here is if they are paying attention to your unique needs, or just the problem in general.
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Intellectual Trustworthiness: Intellectual Guidance
Life is about learning, and if the mentor is displaying signs about a general quality of life learnings, in a Yoda like fashion, then the person possesses the virtue of intellectual guidance.
They make you navigate the situation in a manner that helps you minimize the risks, and learn in the process, helping you in your life journey.
A key trait here is that such mentors do not look for closure, and are extremely patient.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
Tsundoku
Many of us have a desire to read. We buy books, but then the demands of work and family catch up with us, and we never get round to reading the books. The Japanese calls it tsundoku
Finding the time for books
To give books the attention and time it deserves in your life, you need to make it a higher priority. It means you have to change your habits and routines to allow more reading.
Sometimes, your reading needs only a little encouragement to displace something that should be lower down on your list. For example, to forgo watching television and reading a book instead.
The reading habit: Succeeding long-term
- First consider why you want to read more books. Reading should be enjoyable for you because you find them entertaining, calming, stimulating, and fascinating. Once the habit is set, you can also read other things you "should" read.
- Change your surroundings to make it easier for you to grab a book. Reading apps can be prominent on your phone. Physical books should be in places that you most often frequent.
- Create modest reading goals. Permit yourself to start with reading one page a day. Once the habit is established, you can increase it.
- Once you have laid the foundation for your new reading habit, create an action association, such as reading on the train to work or with your mid-morning coffee or dinner.
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"In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few."
Shunryu Suzuki
Shoshin: The beginner's mind
Shoshin is the Japanese Zen term for a "beginner's mind' and refers to a paradox: The more knowledge you have on a subject, the more likely you are to close your mind to further learning.
Overestimating your knowledge
- Having an academic degree in a subject can lead people to overestimate their knowledge. Studies showed that graduate participants frequently overestimated their level of understanding.
- Even feeling like an expert also breeds closed-mindedness. Research also showed that giving people the impression that they were relatively expert on a topic led them to be less willing to consider other viewpoints.
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When lifelong dreams crumble
All of us have hopes and dreams for the future that become part of our identity. But then reality gets in the way. Your passion may fade, or the obstacles to realising the dream ma...
Come to terms with your decision
As you let go of your dream, you may fear you're making a mistake.
- There's no calculus for knowing when to give up. If pursuing your dream comes at great personal cost to your relationships and other goals in life (which is different from a 'harmonious passion'), that would suggest it was wise to give it up.
- Success is not all or nothing. You may not have fulfilled your dream, but you likely learned much along the way, giving you a chance to redirect your energy and passions in new ways.
Goal adjustment capacity
Psychologists see goal adjustment capacity as a beneficial form of 'self-regulation' or 'self-management.'
It contains two parts:
- The ability to disengage from fruitless goals
- The ability to know when and how to change to new, more productive goals.
Those who are flexible and adaptable are generally happier, perform better. They often get promoted. If you are thinking of giving up your dream, it suggests you have a healthy willingness to adjust and adapt.