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6 Steps to Turn Regret Into Self-Improvement
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The disease of "What if"
It’s human nature to linger on feelings of regret. We look back and think that missed opportunities(real or not) could have set us on a different, possibly more rewarding path. Unchecked, these emotions become overwhelming sources of stress and anxiety.
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Turn regret into motivation
- Acknowledge how you cope with regret: ignoring it makes it more present
- Stop the regrets spiral, until you are ready to face the situation with more clarity
- Revisit the story and identify practical lessons you can learn from it
- Treat yourself like your ideal mentor would
- Ask yourself why you feel regret and work backward to identify the values that are tied up in your feelings
- The cure for anticipating regret isn’t feeling lousy or overthinking, but pursuing solutions, using the wisdom gained through self-reflection.
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Turn regret into motivation
- Acknowledge how you cope with regret: ignoring it makes it more present;
- Stop the regrets spiral, until you are ready to face the situation with more clarity;
- Revisit the story and identify practical lessons you can learn from it;
- Ask yourself why you feel regret and work backward to identify the values that are tied up in your feelings;
- The cure for anticipating regret isn’t feeling lousy or overthinking, but pursuing solutions, using the wisdom gained through self-reflection.
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Key Ideas
Maximize Opportunities
Lucky people do not wait for things to happen to them.
They take notice and act upon the opportunities that they find.
Luck and Intuition
Lucky people act on their intuitions across many areas of their lives.
Intuition is when your body and brain have detected a pattern before you have deliberately considered it.
Expect Good Fortune
You are more likely to be successful if you are optimistic about your opportunities.
When you think things will work out, you are more apt to persevere. You are also open to new opportunities.
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Jeff Bezos's Regret-minimization framework
Thinking about your potential regrets give you clarity. It al...
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Key Ideas
Not Asking for Help
There are a handful of reasons we don’t ask for help, but it’s usually because we’re too proud or scared, and that’s a huge waste of time, because it keeps you from moving forward.
If you fe...
Trying to Make Bad Relationships Work
Reasons people usually use:
- Thinking you have more in common with the person you're dating than you actually do;
- Being in a relationship just to avoid loneliness;
- Staying in a relationship only out of fear of losing the person.
Bad relationships cloud your judgment, prolong your unhappiness, and distract you from things that matter to you most.
Dwelling on Your Mistakes
Learning from your mistakes is one thing. Dwelling on them wastes your time, diminishes your confidence, and keeps you from getting on with your life.
Dwelling makes you feel like a failure. When you feel like a failure, it’s easy to tell yourself there’s no point in trying, because you already suck.