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A Beginner's Guide to Couples Therapy

https://www.thecut.com/article/couples-therapist.html

thecut.com

A Beginner's Guide to Couples Therapy
A few years ago, I met a woman at a wedding who told me that she pictured marriage like two astronauts floating around in space, tethered together. "You're both so busy and preoccupied that it's easy to drift apart without noticing," she said.

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Go Sooner Than Later

Most couples don't consider counseling until a real crisis or a catastrophe appears.

It is better to go to couples counseling during a specific life event, strengthening some piece of a relationship, taking it as a preventive measure. This helps nip the larger issues in the bud before the partners are ready to kill each other. Going early also provides time to choose a counselor that clicks with both the partners.

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Finding The Right Therapist

Finding a suitable therapist, right for both the partners can take time. Take into consideration:

  • Both partners are comfortable with the choice.
  • Any preferences (gender or cultural background) are taken into account.
  • It should be convenient to schedule an appointment with him, not interfering with other commitments too much.
  • At least two kinds of counselors are spoken to, and then a decision taken.
  • Check online for recommendations or ask for a referral within your friend circle.

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Types of Therapies

A good therapist can utilize multiple approaches and will tailor the provided therapy based on the couple's needs. The common therapies are:

  • Gottman Method: Focused on positive communication
  • Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT): helps couples with their emotional needs.
  • Imago Relationship Therapy: Connecting new relationships with old ones.
  • Other approaches like Hypnosis, sex therapy, etc.

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Seeing A Therapist

One can call the Therapist and ask about their background, fees, and if they take insurance, also ensuring that they are licensed. Do not expect any free counseling session, and keep in mind that couples therapy can be a bit expensive.

If one partner isn't enthusiastic to go, it is a good idea to appreciate their willingness, helping them understand that it is going to be useful for them.

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Results of A Therapy

A good yardstick to measure if the therapy is working is to see how communicative, comfortable, and free one is while being with the counselor.

The best therapist cannot save certain drowning relationships, so it helps to understand what kind of progress is expected, with a commitment to improving the relationship unfolding from both the partners.

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