Personal Story: In 2008, a Canadian bank fired me — at my request. In truth, I was miserable, the role didn’t suit my personality or skill set, and I wanted freedom.The Challenge: Work departures are not always a smooth, co-created experience. What happens if the decision is abrupt or unexpected?Five ways to Process Being Fired: &nbsp;<ol><li>Your career is not your identity</li><li>Allow space for the grieving process</li><li>Use the time for personal reflection</li><li>See a Therapist or Coach</li><li>Be kind to yourself&nbsp;</li></ol>

5 Ways To Process Being Fired To Find Peace & Acceptance

<figure><img alt="" src="https://miro.medium.com/max/500/1*jdVAW68pmucjOJNUCth7hA.jpeg" width="785" height="524"><figcaption class="iq ir cy cw cx is it cd b fx cf cg" data-selectable-paragraph="" dir="ltr">Frustrated unemployed young professional | Image By <a href="https://www.shutterstock.com/g/ESB+Professional" class="cj iu" rel="noopener nofollow" dir="ltr">ESB Professional</a>, Shutterstock</figcaption></figure>In 2008, a Canadian bank fired me — at my request. In truth, I was miserable, the role didn’t suit my personality or skill set, and I wanted freedom. When I heard wind of organizational change and a letting go of underperformers, I jumped on the opportunity to be a part of the group to leave. My Director and I had a candid conversation, and we mutually agreed on the approach. Careers are relationships, and when the need arises to exit, both the company and the individual benefit.However, work departures are not always a smooth, co-created experience. What happens if the decision is abrupt or unexpected? Here are five ways to process being fired to find eventual peace and acceptance.<OL><LI>Know that your career is not your identity. What you do professionally is one small sliver of a big pie that makes up your whole. Sure, you spent countless hours on your career, impacted others, and built lasting relationships, but ultimately — the whole of you is greater than the sum of your parts. Last week I wrote a story on this topic, “<a rel="noopener" href="https://medium.com/beingwell/gestalt-informs-us-we-are-not-one-part-we-are-a-whole-fee8bca2085b" dir="ltr">Gestalt Informs Us We Are Not One Part; We Are A Whole</a>,” and feel the same concept applies to our careers.</LI><LI>Allow space and time for the grieving process to happen. You can’t rush or fast-track emotion. Feel it. Don’t repress it because the sensations will show up again in another form, such as an illness. What you can do to help yourself the most right now is to practice self-awareness and possess the ability to recognize and name the emotion you are feeling and when this shifts into a new way of being. While it is beneficial to move through all the stages of grief; shock, pain, anger, depression, upward turn, reconstruction, and acceptance — you don’t want to find yourself stuck in the first five stages for extended and unhealthy periods. Self-awareness will allow you to recognize the signs of cyclical passage.</LI><LI>Believe it or not, being let go is the best time for personal reflection. You may have more time on your hands than you did previously. What new insights are you discovering about yourself? What can you take away from your experience and do differently next time? For example, it wasn’t until my late thirties (and a ton of therapy) that I discovered I was an unhappy and emotionally shut-off person, preventing me from being my entire self. Personal reflection and space away from your career will allow you to see aspects of your personality you might otherwise not have had time to explore.</LI><LI>And as a psychotherapist in training — you know I’m going to go there. Yes, right now is the perfect time to see a therapist. Perhaps someone who specializes in both therapeutic services and career coaching is an ideal candidate. If your company offered therapy as part of the severance package, I highly recommend taking it. After being fired, seeing a career counselor was one of the smartest moves I made. She was an impartial sounding board who helped me to remove the obstacles I had built around myself. Through her guidance, I saw new possibilities I never thought possible. No matter if you were the CEO of a Fortune 500 company or an intern starting out, everyone benefits from an impartial ear and an empathetic proverbial couch. Plus, for many people who depart, seeking a new career may be a priority. Bills stack up, and mouths must be fed. Finding the right combination of therapy and coaching may be the first critical step.</LI><LI>Be kind to yourself. I don’t mean this in a sappy, inspirational cliche kind of way like we see plastered all over our Instagram or LinkedIn feeds. No. Today, do one extraordinary thing for yourself that you have wanted to do for a long time. And speaking of time — this is the greatest, most coveted commodity we have. Time is fleeting, and we only have so much of it. How do you want to spend it? Who do you want to spend it with? What brings you joy? Maybe it’s woodworking or fishing. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to write a memoir. Or mentor new immigrants to your country. Get creative. Now is YOUR time; own it, my friend.</LI></OL>Let’s return to my departure from the bank. I purposely asked to be fired to receive a compensation package. After being let go, I sustained myself financially for three months. And with the assistance of the career coach, I determined that I am not passionate about managing massive technical projects. Day by day, a little creative piece of me was shriveling up and dying inside. Instead, we discovered, I prefer more inspirational, user-experience, design-oriented product work. Even though my departure from the bank happened fourteen years ago, the same insights garnered back then are still true today. Think about it, if I stayed in that position, I would have become a middle-aged bag of misery, and no one wants to be around a person like that!I’m writing this post out of care and compassion for anyone who has recently experienced a fresh start in their lives. My heart goes out to yours. I wish you all the success on your new journey.More like this:

In 2008, a Canadian bank fired me — at my request. In truth, I was miserable, the role didn’t suit my personality or skill set, and I wanted freedom. When I heard wind of organizational change and a…

career

Career

In 2008, a Canadian bank fired me — at my request. In truth, I was miserable, the role didn’t suit my personality or skill set, and I wanted freedom. When I heard wind of organizational change and a letting go of underperformers, I jumped on the opportunity to be a part of the group to leave. My Director and I had a candid conversation, and we mutually agreed on the approach. Careers are relationships, and when the need arises to exit, both the company and the individual benefit.

However, work departures are not always a smooth, co-created experience. What happens if the decision is abrupt or unexpected? Here are five ways to process being fired to find eventual peace and acceptance.

<ol><li>Know that your career is not your identity. What you do professionally is one small sliver of a big pie that makes up your whole. Sure, you spent countless hours on your career, impacted others, and built lasting relationships, but ultimately — the whole of you is greater than the sum of your parts. Last week I wrote a story on this topic, “<a dir="ltr" href="https://medium.com/beingwell/gestalt-informs-us-we-are-not-one-part-we-are-a-whole-fee8bca2085b" rel="noopener">Gestalt Informs Us We Are Not One Part; We Are A Whole </a>,” and feel the same concept applies to our careers. </li><li>Allow space and time for the grieving process to happen. You can’t rush or fast-track emotion. Feel it. Don’t repress it because the sensations will show up again in another form, such as an illness. What you can do to help yourself the most right now is to practice self-awareness and possess the ability to recognize and name the emotion you are feeling and when this shifts into a new way of being. While it is beneficial to move through all the stages of grief; shock, pain, anger, depression, upward turn, reconstruction, and acceptance — you don’t want to find yourself stuck in the first five stages for extended and unhealthy periods. Self-awareness will allow you to recognize the signs of cyclical passage. </li><li>Believe it or not, being let go is the best time for personal reflection. You may have more time on your hands than you did previously. What new insights are you discovering about yourself? What can you take away from your experience and do differently next time? For example, it wasn’t until my late thirties (and a ton of therapy) that I discovered I was an unhappy and emotionally shut-off person, preventing me from being my entire self. Personal reflection and space away from your career will allow you to see aspects of your personality you might otherwise not have had time to explore. </li><li>And as a psychotherapist in training — you know I’m going to go there . Yes, right now is the perfect time to see a therapist. Perhaps someone who specializes in both therapeutic services and career coaching is an ideal candidate. If your company offered therapy as part of the severance package, I highly recommend taking it. After being fired, seeing a career counselor was one of the smartest moves I made. She was an impartial sounding board who helped me to remove the obstacles I had built around myself. Through her guidance, I saw new possibilities I never thought possible. No matter if you were the CEO of a Fortune 500 company or an intern starting out, everyone benefits from an impartial ear and an empathetic proverbial couch. Plus, for many people who depart, seeking a new career may be a priority. Bills stack up, and mouths must be fed. Finding the right combination of therapy and coaching may be the first critical step. </li><li>Be kind to yourself. I don’t mean this in a sappy, inspirational cliche kind of way like we see plastered all over our Instagram or LinkedIn feeds. No. Today, do one extraordinary thing for yourself that you have wanted to do for a long time. And speaking of time — this is the greatest, most coveted commodity we have. Time is fleeting, and we only have so much of it. How do you want to spend it? Who do you want to spend it with? What brings you joy? Maybe it’s woodworking or fishing. Perhaps you’ve always wanted to write a memoir. Or mentor new immigrants to your country. Get creative. Now is YOUR time; own it, my friend. </li> </ol>

Let’s return to my departure from the bank. I purposely asked to be fired to receive a compensation package. After being let go, I sustained myself financially for three months. And with the assistance of the career coach, I determined that I am not passionate about managing massive technical projects. Day by day, a little creative piece of me was shriveling up and dying inside. Instead, we discovered, I prefer more inspirational, user-experience, design-oriented product work. Even though my departure from the bank happened fourteen years ago, the same insights garnered back then are still true today. Think about it, if I stayed in that position, I would have become a middle-aged bag of misery, and no one wants to be around a person like that!

I’m writing this post out of care and compassion for anyone who has recently experienced a fresh start in their lives. My heart goes out to yours. I wish you all the success on your new journey.

More like this:

5 Ways To Ease The Pain Of Being Fired

5 Ways To Process Being Fired To Find Peace & Acceptance

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