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Understanding the psychological rewards of bad habits
Creating new habits to replace old ones
"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." Whenever we suffer, especially for long periods of time, at first we believe it is because of something outside of us--something we hate. And if we make it past that emotion, we find below that hate is a rumble of anger, and certainly something we have held on to for far too long. But beneath all of that is always fear. Fear of loss. Fear of vulnerability. Fear of letting go.
What you do today is one more action toward who you will be tomorrow. When that action is replicated over the course of a week, you begin to scratch the surface of change. When that action is replicated over the course of a month, you begin to notice a slight difference. Do not underestimate the power of each and every small habit, replicated over time. For good or bad, your habits determine who you will ultimately become.
Most people do not get to spend their lives doing whatever it is they love. Instead, they do what they are told they should do, or what their parents or town or friends or peers suggest that they do. Or they simply pursue nothing close to their heart at all. But if you want to "do what you love," you need to see that as a privilege, not an expectation. Those people are not the majority. So if that's what you truly want, you have to put in the work now.
This is quite a cliche phrase and is often said in a negative context. But I am using it differently: It is worth acknowledging that, at the end of the day, we all must provide for ourselves. We all have our own dreams, goals, aspirations, families, close friends, and significant others, and we all want the same fundamental things. There are those you can trust, of course, but the best way to keep yourself rooted and at ease is to know that each and every person has his or her own agenda. You cannot control others. You cannot expect them to put you before themselves.
Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living: the other helps you make a life.
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