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PSYCHOLOGYTODAY

6 Ways to Not Take Things Personally

6 Ways to Not Take Things Personally

psychologytoday.com

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Humans are personal.

Every one of us has a tender underbelly of our psyche. Everyone has something they’re sensitive about, where even a gentle poke can feel more like a thwack. Comments don’t slide off like water from a duck’s back; rather, we feel more like a sitting duck.

1. Consider the source

Would you lend money to a man who does not pay back ? The same thing goes for criticism. Does the critique come from someone you like and respect?

In short, you’d take criticism very differently if it was presented with care from someone you trust versus shouted from a moving car. Consider ...

People say mean things. People can be dumb. It’s only human to make a mistake and say something critical or insulting, but if it happens again and again, it’s not a mistake anymore, it’s a pattern.

To paraphrase, critique me once, that’s on you. Critique me twice, that’s on me. But if you’r...

3. Critics own themselves

Individuals hypersensitive to criticism often have high moral standards. They have a strict moral code and their values run deep. And that’s a good thing. But this is one of the few places where strong values can have a downside.

Getting unfair or undue criticism is similar. Feeling annoye...

4. Question your own perfectionism

There is a straight line between hypersensitivity and perfectionism. Individuals who take things personally often work really hard to be blameless, flawless, or excellent precisely so no one will criticize them. When they get negative feedback, it feels like it blows away all they’ve worked so ha...

5. Don't replay imaginary scenes in your head

We’ve all experienced getting bullied or criticized and then, hours later, coming up with a good zinger we wish we had said in the moment. We replay the scene in our head, spinning out what we wanted to have happened instead of what actually went down.

But replaying scenes in your head is a...

6. Fine line between taking things personally and being personally invested

Now, “taking things personally” usually brings to mind images of silent fuming or screaming into our pillow, but there’s something to be said for taking things to heart.

The opposite of taking things personally is to depersonalize them. And when you depersonalize an action or a rol...

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