Mentoring Matters: Three Essential Elements Of Success

• A desire to develop and help others. A good mentor is sincerely interested in helping someone else without any “official” reward. Good mentors do it because they genuinely want to see someone else succeed.
• The ability and availability to commit real time and energy to the mentoring relationship. Good intentions aren’t enough—mentoring takes time!
• Current and relevant industry or organizational knowledge, expertise, and/or skills. The best mentors have deep knowledge in an area that the mentee wishes to develop.

• A willingness to share failures and personal experiences. Mentors need to share both their “how I did it right” and their “how I did it wrong” stories.
• A growth mindset and learning attitude.
• Skill in developing others. This includes the very real skills of: active listening, asking powerful, open-ended questions, self-reflection, providing feedback and being able to share stories that include personal anecdotes, case examples, and honest insight.

Just as there are specific characteristics of a successful mentor, there are attributes and sensibilities that make for a good mentee. This is important, because mentees must remember that mentors are doing this from the goodness of their heart, so being a good mentee is the best way to ensure the relationship enjoys a healthy purposeful existence.

• Committed to expanding their capabilities and focused on achieving professional results.
• Clear about their career goals, needs, and wants.
• Willing to ask for help, show vulnerability, and explore different paths and perspectives. Mentees must be open and receptive to learning and trying new ideas.
• Able to seek and accept feedback—even the “constructive” kind—and act upon it.
• Be personally responsible and accountable.
• Ready, willing, and able to meet on a regular basis. Relationships take time to develop, so mentees must also be committed to upholding their end of the bargain.

• Contact and response times: Who contacts whom? How? What are acceptable response times?
• Meetings: Where, when, and how often? Are you meeting in person? On the phone? Virtually?
• Confidentiality: What’s shareable and what isn’t?
• Focus: What are the parameters of the mentoring? What’s in and out of bounds?
• Feedback: What are the expectations around giving and receiving feedback?
• Goals and accountability: What would each party want from this experience? How does the mentee want the mentor to hold her accountable? How does the mentor want the mentee to hold her accountable?