How to Be Confident (When You Don't Have Anything to Be Confident About) - Deepstash

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How to Be Confident (When You Don't Have Anything to Be Confident About)

https://markmanson.net/how-to-be-confident

markmanson.net

How to Be Confident (When You Don't Have Anything to Be Confident About)
Like, how are you supposed to be confident at your new job if you've never done this type of work before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in social situations when no one has ever liked you before? Or how are you supposed to be confident in your relationship when you've never been in a successful relationship before?

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Confidence and self-perception

Confidence is not necessarily linked to any external marker - our confidence is rooted in our perception of ourselves regardless of any tangible external reality. So improving the external, tangible aspects of our lives won't necessarily build confidence.  - Mark Manson

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Confidence=becoming comfortable with what you are not

The solution to the confidence conundrum is not to feel as though you lack nothing and delude yourself into believing you already possess everything you could ever dream. The solution is to simply become comfortable with what you potentially lack. - Mark Manson

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Confidence comes through failure

Those among us who are the most comfortable with negative experiences are those who reap the most benefits. Comfort in our failures allows us to act without fear, to engage without judgment, to love without conditions

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Asking For Help

Asking For Help

Not wanting to seem weak, needy, and incompetent or like we’re taking advantage often keeps us from asking for help, but that’s often an overblown fear caused by our tendency to think the worst....

Seeking Help Is Strength

By taking an active step in seeking help or advice, you’re actually taking control of your life, and not letting external circumstances (such as what people think) affect how you behave and perform. It is courageous to accept your weaknesses.

Lack Of Self-Confidence

... is associated with:

  • Depression
  • loneliness and feeling left out
  • Lower academic achievement
  • Lower life satisfaction

Self-confidence without competence is of as little use as is competence without self-confidence.
Self-confidence without competence is of as little use as is competence without self-confidence.

Building Your Self-Confidence

You become more self-confident if you become better at what you do. 

The process goes like this:

  1. Improve your competencies
  2. Put them into practice
  3. See results
  4. Grow more confident
  5. Repeat